Thursday, July 28, 2005

~random stuff~

This beautiful young lady is Monika.  She is my daughter's best friend and I spoke of her this past spring.  Her family was having a load of problems.  Her Polish speaking mother, has a mental illness, her stepfather wasn't paying the bills so they sold their home and got a divorce.  We were all hoping that Monika wouldn't have to leave our little town, but she is now living with her mom in Chicago with her Grandma.  Because mom doesn't speak English very well and has the illness Monika used to take care of everything, their home, her younger brother plus her own school work. She will be visiting this weekend to get her transfers from the high school and will be living with Grandma as her mother can't work.  We offered to let her live here, but Grandma rules the family now so she cannot.  Makes me so sad.  I really miss that kid.

I have a lot of time to think these days.  One way my trip to the Ed center in the morning takes 30 minutes, then I do the trip up and back again in the late morning.  This gives me about 2 hours of way too much thinking time.

You have to wonder about life sometimes, the choices we make.  How they can effect us and our loved ones.  For instance my oldest is trying to decide if he should buy a car.  I was awful when he was younger about his decision making skills, I used to say, "are you sure you want to do that???".  But what I see as insecurity my husband sees as a being careful and thoughtful.  My son will do fine, I will trust his judgement and actually am thrilled he comes to Mark and I for advice, well mostly Mark. 

I often wonder why  Mark and I did not get together way back in high school, we knew each other than, why didn't we have the attraction???  Would we have had all these kids?  Would we be where we are at now???  Would we be as close as we are now?  Or would we have killed each other???

What about my job?  If Mark's trucking business would have done well, and we hadn't had all the problems would I have sought out a job, the very job that I love???  Or would I still be sitting in the house, bored out of my mind??

Liz's boyfriend Mike is leaving for college which is about 7 hours away.  They have decided to break up, but date when he is here, or stay friends, or I think it's break up with option to get back together....I dunno, I think they both know they are young, Liz loves her her guy friends, Mike needs to study and experience college.  So they are wise to do this, but I wonder will they have a future???  Will they get married after college???  Matt and Brandy did.  My stepson Jim and his old girlfriend didn't last, and they started out in high school.  Jeremy ended up marrying his first girlfriend from high school , which was Tracey...will Liz and Mike?? 


Ah such thoughts run through my mind.  But I think life is about choices, I think we end up how we are by those choices, but I do believe  that we all are here to learn from each other...we all get together when it's the right time, in God's time.  And to me that's the 'right' time.

Ok that's enough deepness...

It's Thursday and I am getting Chinese for dinner!  We are going to escape to the summer home (trailer), it's big breakfast Sunday (hmmmm biscuits and gravey), and we are going to see Jacob and Dakota Saturday afternoon...

PLUS it's still only 80 glorious degrees outside!!  AND SUNNY!  These are some Sunflowers, wish I had planted that many, but I do have one huge one, and some little guys.  My black eyed susans ended up being fine after the 3 inches of rain we got.  I will use up the rest of the wedding film and take the 'big' guy's picture...and I will post them next week...PROMISE!



Tuesday, July 26, 2005



ATTENTION ATTENTION!!!  The midwest is now a wonderfully overcast and COOL!!!  The temperature is now 70 degrees!!!  HEE HAW!!!

I can feel the neighborhood breath a collective sigh of relief!  Kids can go back outside without fear of the bottoms of their feet peeling off on the sidewalk, dogs can now play ball without fear, old ladies can stop taking their morning walks before 4 am!  Parents can now stop threating to take away Christmas from their children if they don't close the darn door "you're letting the cold out!", or fear they will have to take out a second mortgage to pay the electric bills,sweat beads are no longer considered an 'accessory'.  All is right again in the world, or at least MY world. 

AH it's midwest weather once again!!!

Hey Easterners hope it get to you all soon!!

I' m here

Hey all I am here.......the weekend wedding festivities went fine. 

The bride was beautiful, and she tends to be on the tomboy side, but there was no hint of that on her day.  The rehearsal was nice, my youngest stepson, Dale who has caused all sorts of problems between his mother and father actually made the first move with Mark.  He hasn't changed at all, he's still a smart mouthed punk, but at least he is working and did try to be nice to his father.  Mark's ex didn't speak one word to us, which I was glad because then I didn't have to be fake and act like I had anything worth while to say to her.  They had the rehearsal dinner at Uno's, which is a pizza place, we had an excellent server, who worked within our budget...we were thanked by the whole wedding party except Mark's ex of course who drank 3 beers which I had to pay for...ISH!  Irony.

The wedding itself was beautiful.  The lavendar bride's maids dresses were not overbearing, the kids gave all of their parents and grandparents lavendar roses which made Mark cry because he was happy they included me.  No one fainted although poor Brandy cried, and her aunt could hardly read the bible verse.

Here are some things I learned from the wedding reception or should I say relearned...I am very forgetful....

When you are sober people tend to be paranoid about their own drinking, for example, my sister in law (youngest bro's wife), whom I haven't seen in two years had a few drinks and kept saying to me..."you are so beautiful, my daughter looks just like you, I wish I could tell people what I though like you do..." hmmm  "I am drinking tonight, but it's your brother that drinks too much beer...." HMMMMM...My brother does drink too much after all he is my brother

Also, when you are an ex heavy drinker, paying for the open bar for a bunch of really heavy duty drinkers is the ulimate lesson in irony...

For instance, Mark's boss & his oldest son, got in verbal disagreements with their wives...all after massive amounts of booze.

My husband's youngest sister came and did behave, but Mark's brother Mitch's ex wife did not...we told her it was fine to come, but she cozied up to Mark's ex and made Mark's sister very upset, because she thought she was taking about her...ah again, the mind of a drinker.  This was after she had a few bud lites and her daughter told my husband that her mother (Mark's sister if you're confused) doesn't drink much anymore...ahhh denial...

I could go on and on, but my fixation with alcohol needs to end here, I am glad it's not part of my own life function anymore as I woke up Sunday morning feeling fine, even though the temperature outside was 105, with a heat index of 117.  I don't miss drinking and am glad neither Mark nor I drink anymore.  It could of been an ugly evening had we joined in.  Mark's ex was rude, hardly smiled and still demands all the attention.  I did feel bad for Mark.  She got to sit near the head table, and you could see her mark on the event.  BUT I will only let it bug me a little while, be thankful I don't have to see her again until the next wedding as she is still mad at us...and doesn't go to parties that we are at.  Her loss.

My only other beef is way too many picture taking by the photographer...I don't see how the kids could actually relax and enjoy the wedding because they were always being stopped to pose for a picture.  But they will have them displayed on a website so I can get them and post them quicker which is so cool!

They also made it yesterday to their honeymoon spot in Cancun.  Emily didn't distroy it so they are there as planned.  Hopefully the bride's parents will leave them's $1.75 a minute to maybe they will only call once a day instead way too much!  Sometimes it's so hard for moms to let go of their daughters.  Hopefully when the day comes I can let mine go!

To sum it all up it was a beautiful event, I got to spend time with my little brother, family and friends.  My hubby was handsome, I felt comfy in my dress, my daugher was a cutie, my son Tim came and had fun with some old classmates, no blood was shed and we got to spend some time with Mark's sister and her pregnant daughter.  What more could one ask for??? 

I know a long and happy marriage for MATT & BRANDY!!


Friday, July 22, 2005

It's friday....

Last night we went and got Mark's tux.  He looks so handsome, I think I'll marry him all over again!  We didn't have a big wedding 10 years ago, because being it was our second and we had 8 children, there was no way to afford it.  We did get married in a nice small church.  I'd marry the guy again in a second.

I have to remember these lovely thoughts while I am trying not to strangle him.  He's already whining about work today.  It's hot, it's been hot, it's going to be hotter and it's not going to be not hot for awhile.  And traffic, traffic was bad yesterday, it's bad today, and it will be bad again tomorrow.  AND road construction, it's bad...ok you get the idea.  The guy loves to complain about the same crap all the time, oh yeah the guy he works with, he's a stoner, and a liar and a poser, He thinks he's a big chopper guy and everybody thinks he's great.  He's also lazy and gets away with taking naps in his air condtioned semi on company time.

It's hard to tell my 50 year old husband to just be a good employee and mind his own business, and do his job...but you know that doesn't work. My husband has been a hard worker, who goes to work sick, come rain or shine, and then some, heck at his old job they'd call him in on Friday nights in the middle of dinner to do loads because he was the only sober guy they could find, this after working all day.  This may or may not catch up with this guy, but who knows.  This is just something that you can't do anything about.  Sometime my dear hubby forgets this...but I've learned to just agree, and try not to let it get to me...I am the type to let a lot go...after all, I believe that life evens stuff out eventually...

Tonight is the rehearsal dinner.  I have my cash ready, and what I am wearing.  And my schedule, my future dil has everything on a schedule, hopefully no one will have to go to the bathroom or faint.  Poor girl might faint herself.

I am also thinking everything will go fine tomorrow night, these things in the past have always been pretty anticlimatic at least in my eyes.  Except for when Jeremy got married, HE did drink too much and my poor dil tried to give him back to us. And now they have 2 kids and are pretty happy.

I am now getting pretty excited, there will be a wide variety of people there, relatives and such and I think it will be pretty fun.  That's my attitude and I am sticking to it.

More later...

Thursday, July 21, 2005



THIS IS MY 4th ATTEMPT AT AN ENTRY!  I really have been around, I really have tried to do an entry, but every time IT WON'T SAVE IT! 

It finally rained here in sunny hot and humid Illinois...the new desert...the dust bowl, still is dusty but at least the flowers look a bit more perky.  The grass is still a dead brown color, but it will come back.  I am just sad because I know all this dry weather will keep our Autumn to a sad shade of brown, because the trees won't have the water they need.  :::sigh::: guess we'll have to travel to see the Autumn.

The wedding is this Saturday.  Mark took Matt (the groom) out to Chili's on Tuesday night for the father/son 'talk'.   Matt did tell his father that he thought we did a good job raising him.  That made me feel proud.

Mark's sister and brother are coming for the wedding, which I am excited about.  His sister hasn't been home in 10 years she will be shocked at the growth and changes in our little burb.  She does have a few issues with Mark's ex, and she likes to drink so hopefully she will behave at the wedding reception.  They are having an open bar at the reception too, the bride's family has some professional drinkers on it too, along with my son (the ex frat boy), 2 stepsons, plus the guys from Matt's work it should be quite a blast.  Me being a retired drunk I smile and think how much better this whole group is without me partaking in the stuff...I wasn't a happy drunk I was a mean, nasty witch from Hell.  The world truly is better off with me just being an observer...I have enough trouble keeping my mouth shut on my best days.  The bride's mother is also upset because her dog died last Sunday...Matt says this will be something that will ruin the wedding for her.  Along with the fact that they put us with his mom and stepdad to sit together.  He says if he's mom doesn't like it she can leave. WOW!  Now I wish that kid would really stand up to his future mother in law and ask her to stop coming by their house every single day trying to tell them how to run their household...but progress Rose, progress, one step at a time...The kid will get it soon enough.

Don't  Weddings just bring out the LOVE in a family...I'll update/show pictures, hopefully with no blood shed!!


Saturday, July 16, 2005


It's hot AGAIN!  Now it muggy, hot and humid...and because we have had so little rain it's hazy too...all the construction that is going on here in Northern Illinois has caused a dust storm basically everywhere!  The air has that brown tint to it.

Liz is doing tech crew for the play Oklahoma!  I am rather sad, she told me if she would have stayed in town instead going on the mission trip she would have got the lead, as a "stage mom" I was sad, but as a mother I am proud of her for picking helping others over her mother's pride.  :)   Actually it's her life not mine so ... with that I will still be a PROUD MOTHER!

I am off, we are at the camper again this weekend, and last night I actually heard a barn owl.. Gotta love the country.   Mark had to work so I came home to get a few things, do the unending housework, laundry, vacuuming cat hair, etc. and wait for him to get home so we can go back.

Have a great weekend!

Monday, July 11, 2005

our summer home....away from home


I am home!

A few years back we joined a club called the Newark sportsmen club.  Newark is wee little town that time forget...sort like the way my town used to be.  We love to camp so we heard about this place and feel in love with it's just plain simple way of doing things.  It's not a resort or a campground, but they don't care if you park your camper, or tent for a small fee you can even leave your trailer there all year.  It's cheap, and if you don't mind an occasional shot gun blast (or in the case of Friday night trap shoots) many gun shot blasts it's a wonderful place to get away from the 'city' life.  It even has  a small spring fed stocked pond that you can swim/fish in.  The only downfall of this lovely place is no showers or flush toliets, only a rather smelly outhouse.

We have an old Prowler that we came to own (got it from the stepson, who got it from Mark's ex when they were doing their own camping thing).  It's seen better days but hey it's paid for, dry, has a place to sleep and cook, and just plain hang out during the weekends.   There is no dump station at the club so we just used the outhouse and brought jugs of water to cook and do dishes.  UNTIL NOW!

~OUR CLUB NOW HAS A SHOWER HOUSE!!~ including hot water, and for the low price of 2 quarters you can take a 10 minute shower!!  AND they now have a flush toliet!! Hee haw folks I now have what the rich folks call a summer weekend home!!!  I feel so so you know spoiled!

AND this weekend having a hot shower came in handy with our leaking water heater and all.  We had a fine evening Saturday night BBQing and walking up Sunday morning to eggs and bacon. There is nothing like sleeping in a camper out in the country!  With all the wild life, no traffic and very little people.

On Sunday, Jeremy asked us to watch the he and Tracey went to Chicago to my close to being married stepson's bridal party outing....which was in place of an 'Stag' party, as my future daughter in law will not allow him to have one.  So the whole bridal party went into Chicago for the game. 

I had my fill of grandbaby heaven!  And it was a long day...beginning at 10 am until nearly 8.  The boys were great, we swam for awhile, sat inside the air conditioning because the weather here in Illinois has been extra hot and dry.  This grandma had a rough time figuring out the way pampers are made now...I mean how much can one of those things hold before they fill up???  I found that out, as I didn't change Jacobs diaper fast enough and he peed down his leg!  Jacob woke a bit crabby from a nap, but a walk and a round of baby golf solved that.  Dakota of course was his charming cute self...he's 6 months now and can sit very well, and goes crazy clapping his hands and laughing....I am so in love!!!  :::sigh::::

After a quick shower at the club we headed home to see my traveling daughter.  She had a great time and learned so much.  She enjoyed the lessons and grew spiritually...I am so proud of that kid! 

After work today, she and I are riding up to DeKalb Menards to get a hot water heater!  And rain is predicted tonight.  Northern Illinois is now 8 inches below normal, we have water ban and brown lawns all over town.  It's time for this girl to do a rain dance! 

Saturday, July 9, 2005

time to blow this pop stand!


be back soon!

Friday, July 8, 2005


Angels are in the heavens, I am sure, because there are deeds done by mortals that are difficult to explain by the mortal nature of man.

-  Dagobert D. Runes


 Ah people say that bad things come in threes...and I've had mine!  After the cat incident...(and Kas I will definitely try the food and the newspaper instead of litter, he already drinks tons of water, thanks!), I made a huge error in not keeping up with my payments with the State of Illinois for my back taxes, the beauty of owning your own busines is that you get top pay taxes on your own.  So right now we are still getting caught up from the years past.  So they notify my back and freeze my account, but I guess I didn't read the paperwork right and it was only for one day, but I freaked out just the same, afterall we have my stepson wedding on the 23rd!...anywhooo Mark talked to the bank and we redid our leftover truck loan (which we finally got rid of that semi that has sat in our driveway for 1 whole year!), so problem solve, then I go downstairs in the basement to check on my laundry and my water heater is leaking all over the place.  Luckily my basement is an old one and the water didn't hurt anything...ok now that's BIG # 3.  Thank God I am working a summer route, thank God Mark's working a lot and THANK GOD there is only the 3 of us still here.  I never realized how much extra energy more people use until my boys moved out.  My electric bill is now $29.00 from 50, my water, sewer and garbage is now $80.00/every 2 months and it was $120.00.  WOW! WOW ! WOW !  I love my boys, but yee haa!  I love getting caught up on bills too.  Plus I am figuring with a new water heater my Natural gas bill will finally go down, that bill is ugly because Northern Illinois gas company thinks nothing of raising the rates in the dead of a harsh below zero my kid works at Menard's and they sell Water heaters and the kid gets a discound!  So somebody up there is really watching me and mine....Hope you all have a lovely weekend....we are going to finally spend some time at our trailer.  Liz comes home Sunday from her mission trip and she tells me she had some sort of spiritual awakening.  My husbnd says it's because she been set free with her boyfriend, with no mean father to give her rules.  But I am hoping it's something along the lines of Godlike or at least "let's start helping others...instead of sitting online counseling my stupid, ungrateful, teenage friends."  Oh well such is the life of a you guys!    

Tuesday, July 5, 2005

the $500.00 cat

The $500.00 cat is home and to tell you the truth he was quite ticked off at me.  He even pee'd on me to prove a point.  The cat who could never meow is meowing his head off.  They shaved both his front legs and he's not happy with the bandage either.  I took it off so he could take care of it himself.  But you are all right in that I am glad I took him in.  I could never let my kitty be in such pain.  Now I must slowly change his diet.  What we don't do for our loved ones???  At least he's not mad at me anymore he's just wandering around the house making sure he's really home :)

the 4th of july do over

It rained here so our goofy town cancelled the fireworks until today..which is a good thing because we ended up not going.  We had a mission to go on.

On Saturday we had to take our cat to the Emergency animal hospital because he was acting very weird.  He was just laying around not eating or drinking.  I thought he had gotten poisoned from coming in contact with a mouse that had eaten some decon.  BUT NO!  This cat has kidney stones!  So we were quoted a price of over $1000.00 for the treatment of our big 13 pound Newton.  So I am like do what you gotta do but as soon as this cat pees call me and I am getting him out of this high priced cat hotel.  We went last night to get him at 10:00pm ... hence missing the cancelled fireworks.  Come to find out they can't get his cathater out so they send us home...and by that time it's after 11:00 pm.  But first I ask about my bill they say it's $572.00 so I say wow that's good, it still amazes me that I am actually happy about a 500 dollar bill.

So this morning it's off to work.  I take my student to the Ed Center and there's us and another bus...find out there's no school.  So I take the kid back home.  Go home and call the Animal Hospital.  The doctor says come get the cat he's peeing just fine. 

I am trying to get myself in a frame of mind now to not freak out if they charge me for all this hassle of last night.  Hopefully his bill stands at $572.00.  My stepson is getting married on the 23rd and I still need to find a stunning dress to wear, plus Mark's tux, and we are paying for the rehearsal dinner...luckily it's at a pizza place.  Oh well things always seem to work out.  And against all odds I got a 4 hour route for the rest of the summer plus my raise and my extra special service will help.   It's just the unexpected stuff that drives a person nuts.  Especially when it comes to pets.  Mine NEVER go outside ... I just never expected Newton to get sick.

I have never had pets longer than a few years because I grew up on a highway and all my dogs and cats got ran over by semi's or ran away from home.  Besides they were working cats, they kept the field mice out of the house.  I learned to never get too attached to my pets.  But this big guy is part of the family.

Now I am running an orphanage of cats and dogs...with 2 dogs and 4 cats, and a bird. 

Ok here I go...I'll let you know how it all works out...

Monday, July 4, 2005


Happy 4th all, today let's give thanks for all of the brave souls who served for this great country!  And who owe our freedom to!

Today I am home alone, Mark went golfing with his middle son Matt.   It's trying to storm and I LOVE storms...and we need the rain.

So I am goofing around, sorting clothes and cleaning up.  Mark's sister is coming from Michigan for my stepson's wedding on the 23rd so I have a room to clear out.

  Tonight we will be walking to the Junior high down the block to watch the fireworks...The rain should be done by then....



Saturday, July 2, 2005

happy 4th weekend!

Yesterday at 4 am I brought my Liz to the church that was the meeting place for all the lucky folks who went on her Mission trip to West Virginia.  I promptly went back home laid down on the coach and slept until I realized I was late for work!

But she's off and made it there just fine.

She called this afternoon, her cell phone had horrible reception. She told me she is sun burned because last night and tonight they stayed at a camp ground that took them out white water rafting.  Tomorrow morning they head to the work camp.  I am able to text message her through her email, which I am sure she will get tired of!  I also can send the workcamp an email to give to her.  I do miss my daughter but this is an experience she will learn so much from.  Helping others is what it's all about.

It's weird having no kids's the first for we have always had some kid or another here.  Feels like newlyweds ;) !  Mark actually didn't have to work today or Monday.  He got off at 2:00 yesterday so all day he thought yesterday was Saturday.  We had a Lone Star gift card from some past Christmas gift so we had early dinner there.

Afterward we went and visited my father and stepmom.  He has been wanting to sell our family home and move to Florida.  I think he is just going to rent out his house (the 10 house area that he lives in is prime business property, but not quite yet) so he wants to hang on to his property until someone wants to build there. It will be nice to have someone to visit in Florida, but I wish he was gong to California, I like the west coast better.  I am happy for him, he's 69 worked hard all his life, helped me and my brother raise our kids, and buried my mom, he deserves to enjoy the rest of his years in a place he loves.



Wednesday was Jacob's 2nd birthday...we gave him a set of play power tools and he LOVED them.  Now he can be like his daddy.  Tomorrow is his birthday party.  We were out there today to help Jeremy finish his deck around his pool.  Last year Mark's ex took over the whole party and tried to be the center of the attention.  This year my daughter in law is on to her and all her manipulating ways, so she has given her less power in the kids lives.  Besides since she babysits both kids all day she is losing interest in such things.  Sad but that gives me and Mark more time with them, since in the past if she knew were coming to see Jacob she would come and take him to her house.  Now with 2 she doesn't bother.  I am sure tomorrow she will be quiet...especially since she is still mad at us for not paying my youngest stepson's car insurance, plus I am sure she quite upset for letting him flunk out of high school.  She is the type that will find away to blame Mark.

BUT all the kids are very aware of how she is...and since actions speak louder than whiny words...they know truly how much Mark has tried to help all the kids.

I didn't mean to babble on.  I haven't writen anything of much substance lately so I need to process this.  I simply thank God for giving Mark and I the gift of our wonderful relationships with our children.  And now these awesome grandchildren.

Children of divorce have enough issues without adding more to the heap.  Some people like Mark's ex never look at their own actions, the chose to continue blame people, places and things for all that is wrong in their lives.  I am hoping to break the cycle and teach these kids to take responsiblity for their actions.  So far so good.

Besides I love my daughter in law, we have a great relationship and she makes the prettiest babies ever.

I know I promised picutures.  I 'll take more tomorrow and get the film developed post haste!

YOU ALL HAVE A WONDERFUL 4TH OF JULY...Monday we will be here at home because they have the fireworks less than a half mile from our house...if there wasn't so many trees we could sit in our yard and watch them.

Take care!