Everything is going to be all right

2008-10-09T16:54:00.000-07:00

I am going to be using Everything is going to be all right 2
as my home....

moved in...

2008-10-08T18:24:00.000-07:00

I migrated my journal but it didn't go to my new one...oh well. I guess I'll have to copy and paste my entries from that one. anyway, being here gave me a chance to read my old entries from 2004...Wow this girl has grown up....WAY up!

And to think some of the same crap that was going on with my kids is still the same! Same with the jobs, but NOW I'd don't let it bother me...plus Mark and I have back up jobs! And God! He's my back up job!

ever the rebel...

2008-10-07T11:23:00.000-07:00

ever the optimist I am going to hang out here in AOL land until last call...even though I don't drink I can still party with the best of 'em!!!

Things are very fall like around the Midwest, nice temperatures with only a hint of rain. Hubby's working construction after a 7 week layoff (I've been so busy I thought it was only 5 weeks!!) I have a sports trip every evening, getting home before 7, with hubby home at 3:00 he's been making dinner. I think because Jeremy and Jim are officially moved in next door, he's feeding them too....sigh...sometimes it's hard to let go...
speaking of, my son Eric has had enough of being in Ohio, working a stressful job and being 5 hours from family...he's finding a WAY to come home...transfer, beg, whatever...he misses family & security of knowing someone who loves you has your back. He's planning on moving in his dad and step mom to save money, by Thanksgiving. It'll be good for them all.

Dale has his first session with my friend the therapist today. I trust it will go well...she yelled at me last week because I do everyone's laundry. I depend on my washing machine, and with at one time 7 people's worth of large jeans I do NOT let anyone touch my machine. She says they should go to the laundromat. whatever...

Otherwise AOL I am staying until you throw all my stuff on the curb!

I am here!

2008-09-30T18:36:00.000-07:00

http://everythingisgoingtobeallright2.blogspot.com/ I am moving on...too!

Dang it!!

2008-09-30T17:51:00.000-07:00

Just got the email regarding AOL journals!!! I have over four years of journal to figure out how to save...a fitting end to a very, very crappy day...

2008-09-30T08:11:00.000-07:00

The babies are coming! Jeremy is renting the house next door to me...officially...and he's taking my stepson, Jim who's been here for nearly 2 years with him!!

The youngest, Dale after many threats and weeks went to Target this morning to apply for a stocking job...with Liz as his reference he is pretty sure he will be employed by weeks end. He feels this job is beneath him as he is used to well paying construction jobs...but with the current economy his older brothers may be joining him. ;)

Mrs H is in the nursing home, healing, having us still work for her, and demanding to be sent home. Guess I was wrong, she's feisty as ever and wants to keep on hanging around this earth for a while. She often tells me St Peter asks God if it's time for her to come to Heaven...He says not yet!

Hubby's 35th reunion Friday evening get together.

Fun, but Saturday's picnic was better...less alcohol by some...Here's some comments...D says, "I don't remember you, who were you?" to me...and " I had such a crush on Mark during junior high" By the end of it all as with all things age is the great equalizer. People I thought were snobs are now down to earth, others are trying too hard to look either young or older than their years. Otherwise it was a great time.

Another busy work week...but busy is good...especially with 3 school days off in October...God I love my job!

mrs. h

2008-09-25T16:18:00.000-07:00

I can't figure out why this underlined ... It won't undo...::sigh:::

I am sitting here trying to phrase what I want tosay...perhaps it's sadness, perhaps frustration, I got word yesterdayfrom my friend J that Mrs H, whom we both work for took a fall and brokeher arm. J and I went to see her last evening at the hospital and she seems resignedto the fact that this was inevitable. The fateful day had come whenshe would no longer be able to live in her apartment. A nursing homewas in her future. I feel such great sadness not only for those of usgirls whom have become her dear friends but for her. Hiring us was herlast grasp of independence. Now she will have to go into full timecare. She is a woman who has always been independent, a fair yetsometimes stern employer, but always with a sense of humor or a kindword upon my departure each work day. Maybe it's us who has to acceptit. Working for her was never about the money. It was about sharing afriendship with an elder who showed me that getting older was not sobad, that the road ahead was bumpy, but I'd be ok. Her way was always, always be true to yourself, work hard, don'tuse dope (a person will sell their mother's eyeballs for dope, hermother used to tell her), and stay happy. It's hard to be happytoday. My friend is fading away and there is nothing I can do, butunderstand that this is life. Her life, Mrs H's way. She seemedrelieved...so for her I will be too.

I am now allowed on facebook!!!

2008-09-20T16:09:00.000-07:00

Between cleaning my house, listening to my husband freak out about his job via the nextel (he does this once a month, freak out that is), I have been on and off the computer. I wanted some updated photos of my daughter so I tried to go onto her facebook, BUT I have to be invited...she told me I could be her friend and swipe picture just as long as I do NOT read anything she writes. Ho hum, she's nearly 20, I really do not care what she writes about anymore...it's her business.

anywho...here's some pictures of the girl past and present...

show chorus Junior year...Liz is front left...

can't make this picture any bigger, but it's me, Liz and her girlfriend Monika, at Jeremy and Tracey's wedding...which was March 2004.

My girl now and her boyfriend Mike...the new Mike. She and the old Mike still speak...which to me is an amazing thing, civilly. I could never do that...I was always the vengeful type...I have the utmost respect for my kid. My children are my best gift to this world.

2008-09-20T10:02:00.000-07:00

http://soldiersangels.org/index.php?page=adopt-a-soldier

I have never figured out how to put links on a journal tied to a picture so the above link is for a group called Soldiers' Angels. This organization was recommended to me a while ago. I adopted a soldier and truly feel the need to get the word out. The other day I was sent a couple of emails from the group for the need for more people to adopt our soldiers. When the political parties started bad mouthing the President for the war I knew I had to take some sort of action. The war is a reality, agree or not, our men and women are still there fighting for our freedom. It was the least I could do to help out. It's not a big thing...a few cards a month...a care package here and there. There's even an online store with prepackaged items that all you do is order & click your payment and off it goes. Easy enough. I was thrilled when I got an email AND a card of thanks from my soldier. If you know a group such as a church, youth, scouts or such that would be willing to make this commitment just go to the link or go there yourself. You will never regret it.

I try and remember that life is a process when I get bogged down by the daily ups and downs of life. This week I have worked to at a least 6:30 every evening. Mark worked the post office route again, a split shift ending at after 8 PM. I am the type that can take a lot of stress, this week when I felt stressed out I took a walk...or took a nap. The beauty of my job is I can take catnaps during layovers. It's amazing how comfy a bus seat can be. Or a walk in the neighborhood during sports trips. Driving children in this crazy fast paced world is very stressful. Especially since the honeymoon period is over and a couple of my kids on all of my routes are starting to push my rules. The high school route only one kid and he's easy enough to get into line. The junior high route is a long a couple of busy highways with two stops that at least one car goes by my stop arm while my student is getting off the bus. One crazy lady even tried to pass 2 cars behind me to pass on the right side. The poor shocked kid could only scream STOP you stupid lady. She did and from now on I move over as far as I can on the large shoulder. People are nuts, they are getting to be more careless on the road too. My grade school route is large from an upper middle class neighborhood, but they are very in to making the adults happy so they are easy to manage.

As for the stepson...things are getting worse, as a couple we have decided to see my favorite therapist to discuss an action plan. I think the kid needs to be put out. His actions are still out of control. Mark thinks keeping the kid busy will help, but the kid is so used to conning that it's become a habit. I think he should go to rehab, as he uses alcohol as an escape. We shall see what my friend says.

Today is a day off, except for my evening of work with Mrs. H. Tomorrow is going to be a gorgeous day and we have motorcycle fundraiser to go to. We went last year. It's for ovarian cancer research on behalf of a friend who died from the disease. She started something special a few years ago and her husband has kept it going.

Now I need to attend to the dust in my living room...

preception...

2008-09-16T18:09:00.000-07:00

We cannot choose our external circumstances, but we can always choose how we respond to them.

~ Epictetus Quotes from The Enchiridion

Thank you Mary for your entry. Thanks for reading people & commenting. More than anything I enjoy meeting new people. I started my journal back in 2004. Anybody who thinks I have it together should read some of my old entries. I was one scared girl...so much was happening back then...and I was full of fear. But over the years things have worked out. I just did what I was taught, give up the power, do the next right thing and push forward. Oh and work, my husband & I have worked our butts off to clean up the mess of our circumstances.

I could have looked at things from the point of view of a victim..."these bad things happened to us...wah!" But in reality stuff happens to everybody. Death, job loss, divorce, kids getting arrested, crappy ex's...happens everyday to everybody. I have found that it's all in how you look at things. Every thing that I thought was a bad thing has always been used in my life. And often things I used to think I wanted in life, even begged God for turned out to be not so good for me. A job my husband really wanted ended up going out of business. For years I wanted my stepson to move in with us, but ha ha he's here and 21 and it's not so fun...but he's here and now what am going to do about it? Baby him like his mom? no...he did come home, had a million excuses...I simply told him that I was sick of him using us...that nudged him into some sort of thought...we shall see how far. He did mow the lawn today unasked...no he needs to go look for a job...I don't need a handy man.

Now the grand babies...they came for a visit yesterday. Dayton kept looking at me with his baby blues pointing at me and saying "grandma..." batting his little eyes in a way only a two year old could do...Now...my stepson wants to rent the house next door...like I said be careful what you wish for. But I'll be baby heaven!

I knew things would change...they always do, better or worse, good or bad life always has it's surprises....& I am glad I am around to experience them!

rain rain go away...

2008-09-14T12:55:00.000-07:00

"Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else - you are the one who gets burned."
- The Buddha

Rain, rain and more rain...with or without Ike we have had steady rain for 3 days and nights. Not as bad as 1995 when roads were impassible, but worse than last summer when the park next to the river was floated (flooded) as Jacob called it. The rain gauge at Mrs. H apartment complex spilled over at 5 inches...

Things concerning our children are going downhill...haven't seen the grand kids, but once in weeks, the two little guys came over with their dad for a little bit...Dayton cried when they had to go, other grandma intercepts them before I can...my youngest stepson got his cast off (he cut his tendons 5 weeks ago right before he came here) Friday, he left on the train to go back to where he used to live (ex girl <who put him in jail> friend's house ??)saying he was going to a friends and hasn't been heard from since. Funny thing girlfriend hasn't called her normal 10 times a day...The weather has prevented Mark from working construction for 3 weeks.

BUT...what goes down MUST come up...I always always try and find the silver lining even in a downpour...the kids always need dependable Grandma Roses (as Dayton calls me), my stepson will do what he does until he gets sick of it or has to go back to jail...and there is plenty of work hauling mail for Mark...PLUS...I have sports trips every day after work...overtime...more than makes up for the losses...God provides, even in the midst of the storm.

And I finally made it to church today...did somebody call the minister and tell him I was coming?...because he sure was talking to me this morning...

Despite it all I am at = ) !

Ike comes to Illinois

2008-09-13T16:23:00.000-07:00

The rain started Thursday night and hasn't stopped yet. They (the weather) says it's not even the worst yet...Ike will be heading up here tomorrow. Northern Illinois already has 9 inches of rain.

The two local high school teams played each other last night...the cross town challenge it's called. Besides team buses, equipment buses, cheerleaders, student fans, cheerleaders, along with fans bused to another school because of limited parking. I drove one of the four band buses...stood in the rain for an hour and watched the game until we sought refuge on one of our buses. My school easily won. My bus was saved the mud of the team as I had the drum section of the band and all they were was wet, happy and singing the 5 miles back to their own school.

Today is more rain, and working with Mrs. H...

finding recovery...

2008-09-11T17:11:00.000-07:00

I was asked by a j-land friend to write about my recovery. My recovery ... something that is so part of me that I really don't think about it much as that...recovery. It's basically my life now, a way of living that I don't think I could change now even if I tried. The word recovery implies that some thing needs to be found or re found...for me it was finding me. I have always been a seeker...attention, my parents, friends, God, the unknown,...then men. But the loner in me pushed people away, or I clung to them. Growing up I was the spoiled, never wanting to go to school type, then one day age 12, I demanded my parents put me in private school or else...we moved. I was powerful...but the twist was I loved my new school, 8th grade was wonderful, I had friends, but still felt out of place. I lost 40 pounds of baby fat in high school, got good grades, was involved in school, drama club, pep club, I had a boyfriend my junior year, a tall boy who was two years younger than me. I wanted to be perfect, but felt like a freak...then I graduated, the boy moved, I got a job and went to junior college, then a friend took me to a bar...I met alcohol...I never ever was the same....

Alcohol was my friend, my best friend...after a few drinks I was no longer shy, quiet out of place...I was powerful...I never drank like a normal person. I got married on a dare, had two children because his mother told me to...then my world feel apart when my then husband accused me of cheating, (which was all in his head, I never cheated)...at some point during this time I crossed the imaginary line that all people who abuse substances crosses...the line where we lose the power of choice. I no longer could choose what would happen if I drank. There was no moderation. I divorced, moved into my parents home, had another child, crashed two cars, had a couple of very sad relationships and then the revolving door of recovery begun. It took over 4 years to finally stay stopped, I tried everything...self help books, church, prayer groups, yoga, meditation, 12 step programs, in and outpatient treatment, diet, exercise, moderation...I tried it all. In the end it came down to this...humbling myself and surrendering to something bigger than myself (for me God). I had no power...I needed help. Fortunately I got it, I took direction from sober people and thankfully after over 20 years I no longer use alcohol. I have the life I always wanted. Anything worth having takes time...and work....something I gladly do to keep the life I have...freedom ... what I have I freely give away...

a working holiday

2008-08-31T12:35:00.000-07:00

Mark and I both work on the weekends. He hauling mail from the postal centers, me working for Mrs. H. Nobody wants to work on Labor Day so I will be there Monday morning. No big thing. Mrs. H's age and experiences fill a void in me...I have no mother, and my mother in law is thousands of miles away...Mrs. H lets me know that the road ahead is sometimes hard, but "stay true to yourself and you'll be ok, kid". Working for her is not hard, sometimes mentally, but I am tolerant, I think being 50 brings a bit of wisdom in itself, life's problems aren't such a big deal anymore. I have no room to complain about my aches and pains around her, I am still very young.

Some of my stepsons are still going through some major issues right now, some happy, some not so, even tragic, major life altering. I am sad, but as with looking at my own bumpy past I realize things always work out, our experiences either define us & we grow or fade away into our own cave of depression. Through divorce, alcoholism, moves and job changes everything works out one way or the other. For me, I have to know when to step in and when to shut my mouth. I was very disappointed to find out that I wasn't able to have my grandsons on Friday night as planned. Things happened, others interfered and I was overlooked, not even notified until I called to see what was going on. I was angry at first, blew up, vented, then I realized that this as always was the way things were done when there was a crisis with these guys...I looked back at our past and saw this...but things always, always swung back ... back to norm.

Took a deep breath, called my son, had Liz call her boyfriend and we'll be having our own picnic Monday.

The new school year started fine, my routes are great, nice children and I only made 2 kids cry!

As for my golf story...I was all set to have a couple hour trip which lasted much longer. The very small team of 6 freshman were bused to a golf outing in a very upscale subdivision. Even though every male in my family plays golf I have no clue as to how it's played. When I dropped the boys off at the clubhouse coach told me they'd be done in 4 hours, instead it was 7. Fortunately for me I love to walk and had money for an ice tea, which I had to pay for at the bar...a bus driver in a bar !! The neighborhood was lovely, at least 1/2 a million dollar homes set up in rows with garages and alley ways in the back. They had their own little town square complete with a store, dry cleaner and fire truck!

Mostly I admired the landscaping. Very lovely, and colorful, with perfectly bright green grass. Being it was a new development most of trees were young and short. A sure sign of new. Many of the homes had various types of fencing, arbors, patios/porches/decks. The yards were too small for swimming pools, maybe I missed the clubhouse which contained the 'town' pool. One family even got adventurous and had 4 large tomato plants growing out back.

Mostly Hummers, BMW's and higher end cars parked in the driveways. The streets didn't have normal 4 way stops they had the fancy European circular 5 way stops. Thankfully with stop signs rather than yields...which are scary for a bus driver as no one wants to be the one to yield!

I think money most buy whatever it wants as one area even had palm trees growing...from the ground, not in pots...unheard of in Illinois!

It was a nice place to visit, but there is no place like home! We have trees taller than 10 foot high! Maybe in 20 years I'll visit again and see how far they've come!

Until then I'll enjoy the rest of my weekend and you do the same!

let the school year begin...

2008-08-23T20:42:00.000-07:00

Never regret. If it's good, it's wonderful. If it's bad, it's experience."
– Victoria Holt

The beginning of the school year is Wednesday. For those of us in education it started roughly last week. Meetings, route bidding, ID badge pictures, more meetings, whining, b*tching, and moaning...oh did I say that??! I for one try very hard not to do the last three, ok, some whining...BUT for me I thank my lucky stars every day for my job. It has a retirement, great insurance, many many days off, even weeks off. They even figure out our pay so we get a pay check for the breaks for when the schools have off...

I was quite miffed by the reaction of some of my co-workers when they learned that some of us have to drive shuttle buses to the meetings that the whole district have to attend on Monday. The meeting usually last an hour, tops. We will be paid for the whole day, 6 hours. Not only were they mad, but some even refused to attend the manatory district wide meeting. There will be probably 30 buses used to shuttle teachers from their various home schools to the larger high school for the meeting, this is to save parking, which is at a premium.

AND the director had the nerve to start at the top of seniority to pick the drivers of these shuttles. Good God how could he do such a thing??? Senior drivers should never be bothered to do such low some work. I was just so excited to have so much seniority now that I got picked too. Oh and we get paid for Tuesday which is a day off...and we do not even have to be at work!!

The attitude at work is really low, already..."be part of the solution ROSE" is my motto.

At least my routes look good. I know the areas and I can usually tell how the kids will be. I do have a high school route this year, haven't had one for at least 3 years.

I never know how things will be until school starts...never can tell how the kids willbe, or worse the parents...

I did not pick an early childhood route, I do not want a monitor this year...I really want my job to my sane place this year, so I chose kindergartners to take to school and another one to take home. I have seat belts, these kids will be tied down, excited 5 year olds love to stand up.

My life concerning my children is still up and down. Dale, my stepson is still here, and a work in progress. He still tries to BS my husband, but rarely does he get anything by me. We are taking baby steps with him to help him learn some self discipline....he applied for some jobs last week, next getting his GED. Actually, every day is a struggle to keep this guy from going back to his old ways, but he's 21, change is up to him.

Liz is signed up for junior college...she will work her job at Target during the day and go to school at night at a nearby hospital that houses classes for the college. It's much closer than the college, a must for gas prices. I am overdue for a grand kids day, perhaps next week.

Last week I was so busy with extra work doing trips I though my head would spin...Tuesday I spent 8 hours at a golf course with 6 freshmen in a very upscale neighborhood. I'll have to do an entry on that experience.

Until then...chin up, stay positive and always be grateful

Being responsible

2008-08-09T21:29:00.000-07:00

I like boredom & most days I love routine. My summers are usually not routine as school is out and what routes I do have are short and only 1/2 day. I did take the whole school district's administration group to a farm to do some sort of bounding class. I didn't know this when I bid on the trip, but it ended up being fun. They only requested one bus, but needed two so a driver I like also went. A couple of the Asst Principals that I know were on and they all wanted to make sure I picked their schools. I laughed and felt quite important then I realized they just like because I am good with naughty kids..

I seem to be so good that mine and /or Mark's kids keep coming back here to live. His boy's mother (as Mark refers to his ex),was here Friday trying to give us their youngest Dale, who is nearly 22. Dale is a semester short of graduating high school, blown countless good jobs, and has been in jail because of his hot head. Dale lived here for a year when he was 17, I am sure I have that time period written somewhere in my archives of the journal, but why relive the past?

They want him to come here to escape his problems. I saw my boy's father today at my oldest son's baseball game (he plays adult league bball) He and his wife want my son Eric to quit Menards (he's depressed and drinking too much) move back to Illinois, live with them and they'll pay his bills until he gets another job. This didn't work when he went to college, it didn't work when he lived 1/2 hour from them and it would not work now. I wonder if they'd take Dale instead?

Enable...refusing to let the kids go through their experiences just like we all did...

Growing up comes by experiencing life...the good the bad and the ugly...

Experience the great teacher...

I'd never cheat them out of experience ... it's hard though when you are a mother, hard to stand back and watch, wait...

Thank God I have Mrs H. Working for her has been a gift from God...her 95 years on this earth has let me know I can get through anything...and she gives advice freely.

Just as quickly my kids childhood sped by this part will go by fast...I am going to enjoy now.

My kids around 1990

My children now...

old friends and the future

2008-08-02T21:56:00.000-07:00

Mark graduated high school in 1973. I, in 1975. He was the jock, football player, ran track, on homecoming and prom court...he also was lead in all the high school musicals. Me I was a very quiet girl who was once a very chubby girl, I was in plays, but never the lead, of course I was at every sporting event, I was even a bat girl/stat girl for the boys baseball teams. I was never on any court, never voted anything likely to exceed, but I did earn National Honor Society. I was a good girl. Most likely in school we never spoke a word to each other. Now look at us...our kids brought us together, they played youth football, and even the youngest ones knew each other before Mark and I "admired each other from afar" that summer in 1994. (EEK! the 90's they seem so far away!) Finally, fate or me following him after a out of town football game...had us meet up at the small burger shop...he told me about his 5 kids and child support, that didn't scare me off. we saw each other at football practice and made a date....6 months later marriage.

The other day a girl who graduated with Mark sent him an email from classmates.com. She saw that he was coming to the reunion next month and wished she could attend so they could catch up. Wonder if she thinks he's single and they could have one of those kind of catch ups. Too late I had one of those kind of catch ups with him! Most likely it's innocent, but who knows. I am not worried, but I do love to tease my husband.

An old friend of Mark's, whom Mark named Matthew (his middle son) after is in town from Montana. He wants to get together, he's even attending the church that my stepson Matt goes to tomorrow. He went to our school. It's always nice to see people from his or my past, catch up, we have history, maybe not together history, but same school, same town, same upbringing history. We've even created history.

I've listened to many of my close people around me tell me how worried they are about the future, how they want to plan this plan that. Life really isn'tabout the plan, we can make plans, but we really never can plan the outcome. Nor should we, because sometimes life has different ideas about our future. I never try to outguess my future, after all if somebody had told me in high school how my life would be right now, I would have laughed in their face. 8 kids, married to Mark, 3 grand kids, driving a school bus....But now? I'd never ever trade it for the plans I made for myself way back then!

Who knows what my future holds??

Lookeeeeee another entry!

2008-07-28T13:36:00.000-07:00

here I sit at my computer and another entry! Wow!

I am now free on Tuesdays and Thursdays as the grandkids are with Tracey's mom. Last week I subbed a route on Tuesday and actually subbed my own route in the pm on Thursday. My friend M (who shares my route with me) had to go to court for a stop arm violation. A 16 year old ran her stop arm while her bus was stopped unloading a child. Mom and monitor saw this, but M did not think to bring either as a witness. Somebody (perhaps court appointed lawyer) told the kid to bring a witness and say that M was just 'visiting' with child's mom and that she should have pulled the stop sign in. Judge bought the crap and let the kid go, dismissing her case. BULL! To me it's highly unlikely that a bus driver would take the time to blame some brat for passing her bus, let alone write it up, go to court and in M's case find somebody to watch her 7 year old son. Makes me very angry at this judge. Now little 16 year old thinks she can get away with doing breaking the law. Probably the same kid that rear ended my car :)

I was able to see the boys Saturday night as my stepson Matt had a bag party (toss bean bags into a hole in a board for competition). I took them to the park as the party was small and not too exciting for me.

I am also filling in for a girl who works mornings for Mrs. H. on Tuesday and Thursday. I enjoy my time with her as she is a wise wise lady plus the extra $$ is nice.

Some boy pics to make me smile...I miss them, but hopefully I'll have them over night sometime this week....

all in a day's work...

2008-07-26T11:15:00.000-07:00

On Wednesday night Mark and I took Liz to a car dealer of which we have known the finance guy for a long time. He played football with our older boys and Tim bought his car there a few years ago. Liz's old car, which I thought was a deal at $500, was a pile of junk with a rusted frame that was a death trap. Fortunately for us scrap cars are big business and we had 3 different junk yards fighting over the little blue car. She ended up with $250 which is awesome. She also had some money saved. She ended up with what she calls an "old people's car" It's a Buick Century, in perfect shape, low miles and no rust. Everything including the air conditioning power windows, stereo works. It has new tires and muffler. Plus the owner of the dealer took $2000 off the asking price. I was very happy as it's time for her to have her own car. She will driving the 20 minutes to Junior college in the fall, plus work, along with socializing. So I am good.

Yesterday, I drove, along with 5 other buses, a school that house the park districts summer camp to Medieval Times. This is about an hour ride involving two very busy toll ways. One was under construction. I was following another driver which is custom as we all try and go in at least pairs on long trips. Suddenly there is activity in the back of my bus. Seems little 4th grader has to pee. She says so bad she's crying. Nice. So I say to head of group, "do you have any suggestions as where we find a bathroom???" discussion between her and other leader (adults). "can't you just turn off the toll way at Ogden avenue (busy area)"..."or how about Butterf (worse near a mall)"

I veto both stating that I am in a 38 foot tube that is not a compact car. I suggest another road 5 miles away, Leader freaks. "but the girls is crying!!" I finally turn off a mile after busy mall exit. We find a gas station and of course the whole dang bus tries to unload. NOPE I say.

Although I do allow one boy to go on the car wash wall. Girl and Leader take 10 minutes as whomever was in the bathroom would not come out after many knocks.

My partner leaves me as I am taking to long. He gets lost. I do not. We make it in time for the knights to introduce themselves. I sat next to a kid I knew a couple of years ago, we have fun. But our red knight lost.

On the way home I follow my buddy the trainer. The other guy who wanted me to follow him broke down. I made it home in time to catch my husband using the chain saw on some ugly bushes that we have had growing next to our garage.

Today we are attending a picnic at Matt's house (my middle stepson). His wife Brandy is a teacher, so many teacher's attend. It's always interesting conversation.

just wondering

2008-07-24T16:41:00.000-07:00

I am home, ALONE! Most of the day I've been alone. I've had some time to think, ponder, cruise j-land. And wonder. Why do people stay married?

This lovely couple is me and the Mr...April 1st 1995. Many gray hairs ago...I would have fixed the color but my computer is ticking me off, plus I have to go to my Bus permit refresher class in an hour.

I've had two very close people that I love dearly decide to end their marriages. Why? They have their reasons, because I love them I won't talk about it in specifics. But both used the words, " I (they) aren't in love anymore" I asked a girl at work today, who's been married over 20 years, if there were days she wasn't "in love" with her husband ...she gave me that smile...I understood. Somedays the line between love and hate is a slim one...but the brave stay and work it out...we love them and we stay until we like them again.

Why do people end their marriages? Maybe like my first marriage... I had no business being married to this man...maybe that's why people stop trying. And it is an effort to be married. Some times a big effort. I asked my husband the other day why we are still happily married after 13 years, so many kids, job changes, deaths, births, big changes...he said because we try...we try and we're friends first.

We make the effort, we communicate, we respect each other. Sure we have fights, God when we first married we had some loud fights...but now? Nah, we respect each other too much to do that.

around 1998

This picture is one of the few professional ones we have had taken. This was a time when Mark traveled 3 weeks out every month for the railroad. I used to say he would come home to visit :::wink wink:::

I was working at the newspaper delivering over 600 newspapers a day, every day. I had 5 sometimes 7 kids living with me, from at 8 to 16 years old My mother was just diagnosis with cancer. This was tough times back then, but look at us, we look happy. We still are happy.

I've always believed what does not kill you will make you stronger. I believe if you but God in the center of your life things work out for the best. You get knocked down you get back up.

I have become the woman I am from my experiences...and I am a lucky woman to have a man I love right by my side...for better for worse...

Still going strong...

2008-07-18T12:22:00.000-07:00

I started an entry I think it was last week, but it disappeared. My old computer turned off. But brighter days are ahead, my son gave me his computer. It's a nearly new Dell, with an all clean hard drive! I am so happy. He'll be over next week to help me set it up. I know how to set up computers, but his is wireless and I'd rather have him here, it'll shorten the swearing time. = )

The past few weeks have been one drama after another. A close friend and a family member are both having very bad marriage problems ::my marriage is actually better than ever::: I try and listen, but there are no easy answers. My town has had some very scary events happen. A teenage boy drowned in the Fox river a block from my house. The river was so fast that it took the divers 2 two days to catch up with him down stream at a dam. A 3 year old boy on my route went missing and wasn't found for 12 hours. Thank God he was unharmed. A 16 year old new driver rear ended my car while Liz was driving. I pried the bolts to her front plate out of my back bumper...I only have one payment left on the stinking car, thank you. No one was hurt and I can live with a scrapped bumper.

Work is slow for Mark, but he still has his weekend job, I have my weekend job and I have picked up a trip or two along with my part time summer school route. We are making it just fine. My stepson (he's 28) is now paying rent, not much but it'll cover some bills. I've learned that life is too short to worry about the little stuff. Go to work, do what you can today, and enjoy.

Liz is now happily moving on from Mike. They are now good friends & talk often. Thank God she is NOT vengeful like I used to be. She is now hanging around a childhood friend. They both are involved in summer theater so they have much in common. I told her have fun and take her time...no sense in a rebound boyfriend. She has much going for her and I want her to enjoy being 19, she seems to be.

The grand kids are great. Dayton will be 2 on Sunday. He is much easier to deal with now that he can talk and be understood.\

Jacob's Birthday party was early this month...he's now 5. Jacob's birthday!

some friends...& the three grand kids...Dayton, Dakota, and Jacob having a pirate birthday

I am loving this summer!!

a mother never retires...

2008-07-05T20:34:00.000-07:00

Been a busy summer...seems I've been wearing the mother/grandmother hat more than I ever did when the kids were young. Don't let anyone tell you that your job is done when they grow up...no way. You just have to listen more, you still get to hug them, kiss them, throw in a few "it'll be ok" but dang it you gotta suck it up and let them go...

I got a call this past Wednesday while I was sitting on my friend's bus during a field trip, my boy's step mom called telling me my boy's grandfather had passed. My ex's father had been ill a long time and everybody knew it was just a matter of time. She had told Eric, my 23 year old soon, who had just recently been transferred to Ohio that grandpa was gone. This is the same kid who has been working 92 hour weeks (is there even 90 hours in a week??!!) opening a new Menard's store. She told me he was silent, she was worried about him, she said, "Rose you call him, you have a way with him". God I hope so he's my kid! I was a bit worried too, only because my son Eric is a "stuffer", he loves to go merrily along in life doing his thing, working, playing, living life and shoving the unpleasant things down, not dealing with them until the inevitable explosion. I called, he sobbed and we talked. I told him how proud I was of him, how hard it was to do what he was doing, being away, working unGodly hours, and how grandpa who himself was not a showy person would want him to stay put. Grandpa was not having a service.

Mark and I drove the 5 hours to see him Friday morning. The kid needed us. We spent the night, he worked until 8 even though the store closed (the 4th of July holiday) at 6. We went out, we met some new friends of his, we saw fireworks. Today we had breakfast and he wentback to work, to work another 12 hour day. I know tonight he will go out with some of his new friends, probably drink too many beers, and tomorrow he'll get up and do it again.

I worry about all my children, some days more than others. I remember how I was when I was 23, 26 or even 32 like my oldest stepson Jeremy. I think of how everything I went through in life made me who I am today. I would never cheat any of my children the experience of living their life's by trying to tell them what to do, but I sure can be there to hug them, kiss them and tell them that everything is going to ok. Oh yeah trust God that He has an eye on them too. After all, we mom's can't be everywhere, right?

Menard's, Celina, Ohio

boys and bikes...

2008-06-17T21:04:00.000-07:00

Little Dayton a couple of weeks ago .... look at his mouth ... he's making motorcycle noises....

Jacob is so proud of his new bike...complete with flames!

Dakota in his own little world.

Summer break has been wonderful! It's a nice balance of off time and work time.

On Tuesdays and Thursdays I watch the kids and so far it's been at their house. Liz's car we got her ended up needing a lot of body work, so much so that it's basically junk. We will call one of the many salvage dealers in the newspaper and have it hauled away. She has been very busy with work (saving for another car) and then right afterward she goes to play practice. She has been using my car, so some days I ride my bike the mile to the kids house to baby sit. Dakota loves the park, and every time I come over he tries to convince me to take them there. It's too long a walk for them and crossing a busy highway with 3 boys under 4 would be a nightmare. His solution? "grandma why can't you just put Dayton on your shoulders and me, you and Jacob can ride the bikes to the park!"

Funny boy. Liz's afternoon practice is over this week. I will have my car back and Dakota can have his park back. Plus I'd love to take them to the local pool, museum, library, all the fun stuff summers are made of! And I get to enjoy them with my grand babies!

fourth try

2008-06-11T15:48:00.000-07:00

For some unknown reason...I can't seem to post an entry. Either my computer, dsl, AOL, or perhaps the fairies that hide in my house do something to zap my entry. Poof gone!

I will give my update short and sweet---->

school is over! it's been overly hot, rainy, I got my garden in, Mark's working, I am working on Friday for a trip. Liz is busy with work, and her plays so she has no time to be sad over the boyfriend. The grand kids are great, the 2 year old is a hand full but that's normal. My stepson is out of jail, but will probably be back, has no clue that he is the problem.

Eric got transferred to Ohio, from Wisconsin, a move up in the Menard's corporate ladder. He's actually closer to here now.

I have started a cardio kickboxing class that is only 2 dollars a time/or 15 dollars for 10 times. It's in a huge gym with no air conditioning, and about 100 mostly woman. It's really is a great stress reliever.

I have decided that no one but ME can take care of ME!!

so glad I'll be around more!

summer time and the livings easy!!

one and half more days....

2008-06-03T17:28:00.000-07:00

Give me two more days and I"ll be back!! School's out Thursday and my summer route doesn't start until July 8th. Over a month of being a part timer!!! Blogger heaven!!

my space & only 13 days left of school

2008-05-16T15:53:00.000-07:00

D (lighting matches boy who wears his girl friend or his sister's pants to school) -- "hey bus driver! Are you on my space??"

me -- "oh God no D! that, my friend would get me fired"

A couple of days ago a driver called over our 2 way radio that a junior lad near her route had fallen off his bike on his face right on the sidewalk. His face was a bloody mess, too, according to her lengthy report. Her route is near mine, and I thought nothing of it, as some drivers tend to exaggerate, do commentaries on the comings and goings of the world, etc.

Until today. A student comes on the bus at my first stop and says, "bus driver don't look at J face!"

You guessed it, J was face plant boy. One of my more polite riders too. Poor kid's face was a mess, he chipped two teeth, and both his arms were wrapped up. All I could say was "Man J your face is ... AWESOME!!" Sure threw those kids off guard, they surely expected me to be grossed out or have some sort or kind reaction. Not me, Mrs H always says I am brave because I have 8 kids. Brave or nuts...

Oh and they glued J's teeth back on, can hardly tell...

Parenting part 2

2008-05-14T17:12:00.000-07:00

Before I began I would like to thank you, my friends for the kind words you had to say about me regarding the children I am in charge of every day. I appreciate the sweet words and this week especially I have had to rerun those very words in my head many times through out the day...school will be out in 3 short weeks and it seems the free for all has begun.

Here are some examples of my day: "Bus driver there's a lighter in the back of the bus!!!". me: "is the bus on fire?" "well no." ok then things are fine. ...

I think the lighter which was wedged behind the seat has been there for weeks, just now being discovered.

more..."bus driver, can I change seats?" "no." this rule has been in place since September 1st, 2007. "then can I open the window?" "bus driver, E has her window below the line!!"

and from skateboarder kid who hangs out in my neighborhood, "bus driver lady, do you life on M street?" me, "maybe"

and more...I come in after a long morning ready to head home for my one and only break already picturing the scrambled eggs I am going to eat. ~my boss, "we need 4 drivers to head to LC school ... 200 kindergartners need to go to Blackberry Farm and they/someone forgot to order buses"..."Rose, you go"...great...no eggs for me (fortunately my monitor Julie, who loves me & cooks wonderful meals brought me some veggie chili, so I did not starve)

kindergartners who have never ridden a bus as they are walkers..."bus driver we're scared. " (you haven't seen scared kid!) " Hey, hey why are going 35 that's fast!" (stop looking over my shoulder kid!) I was a good girl and humored them, that and the parents who were in charge. Teacher was young, blond and a cutie, no where near being burned out, yet.

The trip was only 15 minutes and they were ever so grateful, and the chili was awesome!

On a lighter note the two children that had me so worried are doing better, one got some outside help and the other has calmed down and only spits at me once in a while this after saying "I love you mommy"

Geeeeeez

My own life is fine. Daughter has talked to ex-boyfriend and they will remain friends, but will call off the future they had tried to plan. For the best she's too young to hang around waiting for a boy who spends most of his life 6 hours away at college. She'll cry for a while but she's my hero and she's brave and good and beautiful, she'll be better for this.

My stepson who is in jail is getting help for his temper there so maybe this stay will not be for not. Hope so. He's a very talented, cool kid who is wasting his time on being angry at things that happened way too long ago, at people who do not deserve his rage. Time to move on.

I am not as perfect as I try to say I am . I have a 28 year old stepson who moved in with us in November of 2006. Bad luck and some bad decisions caused him to come back home. Mark and I need to work on pushing him along in being more responsible. He does contribute money wise when asked, he has a heart of gold, but there of course issues. Oh and he's never been jail.

We all have them though, in all families big & small the world is full of issues. I just try to do my best each day, and when tomorrow comes start all over again.

I am tired of all the drama, struggling and junk I have no control over. I need some fun! Mark is working two jobs until the weather driesup and I have my one and 1/2 jobs. Our birthdays are early this summer so I vote we take a mini vacation over a weekend and just go away. What do you all think??

I vote yes!

parenting 101

2008-05-13T17:46:00.000-07:00

I had a big entry all written, but to honor my dear daughter Liz's privacy I will only say this...last night her boyfriend of four years broke up with her. Seems he had some issues with the direction of their respective life's. The wording was not his, someone coached him. I have my own opinion, and a short list of butts I'd like to kick, but I am a patient soul, I can wait for her tears to stop flowing. She's true to being an only girl in a family of 8, she's already at the angry stage...the grieving process works quick in this family. Years of therapy sure comes in handy in times like these. She has a summer full of work and a theater group. Best to find these things out now before anymore time passes. Her broken heart will heal, I know this, but I hope her faith in the opposite sex isn't marred.

I also heard from a certain 4 year old that one of my husband's sons is being housed in a certain county facility (jail). This particular son has issues with his temper that have never been resolved. He's made a habit of this and I believe this is his second such stay. My husband made some calls and will be visiting him Saturday to hear his side of the story. I have had to remind my husband that if it was one of my kids in trouble I would not be enabling them to continue a life of crime, by offering money or bail. I have my hands full with the drinking issue with my two boys, thank you God Liz is very anti drinking. Thankfully, so far they both stay out from behind the wheel of a car and bar fights. I believe in tough love. I figure if you're over 21 and you get into trouble you can get your own self out.

I suppose in life everything can be put into perceptive, today while I was sighing over my own children another driver told me she thought her only son was living in his car. At least that's what he was telling her. Such a life is a parent.

There are days though that I feel as though I have dodged a bullet, as I was an awful child and into my 20's & even my early 30's I was giving my parents a bitch of a time. My mother always swore I'd get paid back. Fortunately I believe in Karma and the Golden rule, I have tried to make up for my errors...so the blow sure seems light.

Hopefully....but then again there's always grand kids...you never know who may end at my doorstep suitcase in hand!!

lilacs...spring...and babies...

2008-05-10T21:18:00.000-07:00

this has been a tough week...I feel like there are days I truly fear for the state of our children...this week while tough brought plenty of smiles and down right pleasant moments from my life as a bus driver. A couple of my charges are having such a rough go at life that I wish I could scoop them up and bring them home and be their everything. But I am only one woman. My husband gets irritated with me, as I am always looking out for the strays of the world. I try, but it's just so damn hard some days.

Thank God for bringing us a wonderful, beautiful spring this year. Every single tree, brush and bush that flowers is in full bright bloom. And the blooms are hanging in there.

Seeing natures bounty brings me a ray of hope.

I love lilacs and my bush actually bloomed this year!

while these aren't mine, I took them from a neighbor whose bush was loaded, mine are slowing each year getting more blooms.

My bright spot over the past few weeks has been these three, they never let me down in the appreciation area.

An old pool and a few bags of sand...magic!

giving back...

2008-04-30T08:09:00.000-07:00

First off I feel so bad that I have not been on my computer. I am not being a very good online friend as I have neglected this place. Life has kept me away. Heck I even missed an email from my son Tim regarding his need for our help moving. Must not have needed me too bad or he would have called, after all, I do have a land line, cell phone and text messaging. Perhaps if I had a desk job with a computer I could check my email more often, BUT I'd miss so much of the outside world. Wandering the neighborhoods in a yellow school bus is sometimes quite exciting. As for you my friends I will be making the rounds ASAP!

Some new news. My stepson and dil (the grand kids parents) have bought a home. It's less than a mile from us over the river but not through some woods (:)). It's close and since I am now the most requested grandma I am sure I will have plenty of visitors 'popping' by. Especially since grandma has a park and a sandbox.

AND...

I was brought to tears by an email from my adopted solider this morning. No matter how you feel about the war I am hoping everybody feels we must support our troops. http://soldiersangels.org/ is an organization that is a wonderful way for us to show our love and support to our men and women who are overseas serving our country. I never expected an email from this man and here it was. He was grateful and appreciative of the time and effort I took to send him a few cards and packages over the past months. So little for the much he is doing.

This email made my day!

see you soon!

Shaky wake up!

2008-04-18T08:19:00.000-07:00

My husband works overnights. My daughter Liz and stepson Jim live with us. All the bedrooms are upstairs, mine in the path of the stairs so I hear all the wanderings of the night. Often I awake to the sounds of the night. Around 4:30 this morning I wake up to the pulls on my dresser rattling. First I thought it was my husband stopping by in the semi from work, no, then a train?...no, my bed shakes, my ears start ringing....hmmm, then nothing. I hear a door outside slam, neighbors...I note the time go back to sleep. At 6:00 I am up, I must of felt an earthquake, put on the news, yep! Sure enough! Down state in southern Illinois there is a fault line, way down deep so when it shakes we really only feel it, rarely any damage. Even in the nearby towns minor stuff. Not like the California quakes, this one was a 5.2.

Such excitement for a Friday.

Otherwise we are all well. The weather has finally become spring like, with it's winds and mild temperatures of nearly 70. I've been walking a lot. Yesterday after seeing the gas prices at $3.55, I walked to work. This weekend the Huffy is coming down and checked over for leaky tires. I am not giving the oil companies any more than I have to. Going to bike the mile to work.

Last weekend the kids were here again as I had Friday off. We went to a nearby Park that also has a small zoo attached. Dakota got to pet a snake, or nake has he calls them. 3 year old talk is so cute. The zoo had cougars, crocs, turtles and peacocks. The kids mostly loved the play ground, school in this town was in so we had the place to ourselves.

Dakota, Jacob and Dayton.

This weekend is yard work. Sunday promises to be sunny and I have loads to catch up on. The buds are just now appearing. Hopefully mother nature will let us enjoy a little of spring before the hot and humid summer appears!

Have a great weekend!

babies! oh and sunshine! OH and it's 65 degrees!

2008-04-06T13:44:00.000-07:00

Dayton --- 20 months

The kids missed grandma so they came over this afternoon and spent the night. The day was glorious sunshine and warm. They have gotten so big! We had a great day. They were so wore out that Dayton went to sleep and 6:30 and slept until 7:00 this morning!! Today we headed to the river park...Jacob is at the age where he loves to chase other boys, girls are just too much for him. Dakota is still pretty much plays by himself and Dayton runs around or observes everybody else. He is talking up a storm.

We came back to a huge lunch and then Tracey came and got them. Bet they took a good nap this afternoon!

FUN DAY!!

My Jacob he'll be 5 in June!

Dakota 2 1/2

quiet ... just like I like it...

2008-04-03T19:48:00.000-07:00

I am a worrier. In my youth I had horrid stomach aches, missed school, and made myself sick with my imagination and my perceived boogie man. I have gone to great lengths to slay the fear, but some habits are hard to break and now a days I look at such fears as problems to be solved and I love the buzz of solving them. After all, rarely does life work out like our minds fear. As of late Mark and I have been more proactive in our work area. We both (me first, then him) have realized that his line of work-- construction is in a very low point...may be for some time. He gets laid off every winter. Usually, unemployment gets us through. This year we realized that the winter layoff last season really didn't go away until nearly July. Very scary for a couple who have raised most of their clan and are digging out of debt. Actually scary for anyone who lives in this place we call the USA.

Fortunately for us Mark is a very good truck driver. He was rehired by a company that let him do winter work a few years ago when he wasn't able to get unemployment, as we were self employed for that quarter. Thank God he did this as the company he usually works for is not even begun to work. Usually by early March they are back. There was rumors, of work for next week, but it's been raining, the ground is still frozen. I even noticed that the chain stores have just now put in their Pansies, a flower that is normally planted weeks ago. The trees still have yet to bud and everyone's moods brighten when the sun stays out longer than a few hours. Today we actually reached 50 degrees. It's going to be a very slow, late construction year. Some aren't even being called back.

Back to my worries. I don't have any ... none, the main lifestyle bills are paid. There's gas in the car, food in the fridge, the pets have food...I have no worries. Even work is good, the school kids are behaving after my sick day they still have an appreciation for me.

Mark has a good job that works fine for us. If he goes back to construction there's talk he may work both jobs ... a big plus.

There are some rumors of my job in transportation not being renewed, but that's over a year away, next contract and I never worry that far in advanced. I tend to be a right now worrier...

Not today....I am feeling better, I have extra work next week, and even have a no school day next Friday (paid). The weekend weather report calls for sun, I have leaves to bag, something I enjoy. Maybe there's some tulips under there somewhere. Spring means renewed hope...and hopefully warmth...God I can't wait to be warm!

April first was my 13th wedding anniversary. My marriage is good too. My son is taking us out to dinner Monday.

Isn't life grand!!???

back to the world of the living...

2008-03-29T13:48:00.000-07:00

I am finally feeling like there is a light at the end of this sickness tunnel. While I still wasn't 100 % I still went and worked for Mrs H this past week. Her morning help went on vacation so Julie and I split the week. She was grateful and so was I for th extra money.

I had such big plans for spring break, cleaning, throwing the windows open and washing the winter off my screens, but the temperature has hovered around 40 and we actually had snow Thursday. There's plenty of time for spring clean up. I mostly rested, tried to keep up on the daily stuff and tried to eat. Everything still tastes like metal. Oh and I went out to lunch with two friends from work. Bakers square tasted bad too, should've had the pie.

Being home all week let me experience all the wonders of my changing neighborhood. I live in an old neighborhood with old homes that many have become rentals. All the houses except one surrounding me are rentals. Nothing against renters, but I've found over the years it's hit or miss with them. A few years ago we had one doozy next door that locked their dogs in the house over the weekend and left. The poor animals went crazy and broke all the windows out of the upstairs bedrooms and ran on the roof barking their poor heads off. This couple died in a car accident. I felt bad for that. After them a nice family moved in, but the landlord did not keep the house up and now it is empty until he can do some major repairs.

We have always had trouble with the neighbors across the street. Too many adult kids who have kids. They tear up our lawn with all their cars and the young mom of the 3 little boys loves to scream at her kids. I thinks she just doesn't know any better. One time the cops brought the 4 year old home as he wandered away one morning. I thought things would be quiet now that that couple and their children moved to a different rental down the street. No way, just as I was getting over having a coughing fit last night around 3 am Iheard yelling and banging. The kids who are adults that are still living there were having a fight. By the time I figured out how to call the non emergency number to the police (this after calling the fire department and waking up a nice fireman) the fight stopped and they went to bed.

There's two houses across the street from me that are empty. One the girl moved in with her boyfriend and the other the lady over extended her mortgage and lost her home. One has a for sale sign the other is for rent. Should be an interesting summer....

Guess the housing crisis hits everywhere.

did you get the name of the freight train?

2008-03-26T14:34:00.000-07:00

famous last words....I never get sick...blah! Over a week ago on a Sunday afternoon I felt the first signs of a sore throat, then tired, then by Tuesday afternoon I was in the grips of the shakes that go with a fever of 103. I managed to get through my afternoon route, barely. Call off work Wednesday, came in Thursday as it was the last day before spring break, heard all the complaints, the sub was mean, she called Danny a girl, she drove right by us, blah blah, can't you kids see bus driver is dying here??!

J (7th grader) tells me he's going to Florida for break, he's the one who loves to swear and give anatomy lessons on the male species...Good look up my dad while you're there bet he's not afraid to wash you mouth out with a good sturdy bar of soap.

I barely remember Friday, or the weekend. Mostly a Vicks, filled stupor trying to stay warm. Oh and did I mention the coughing? Fits of it, just as I get all comfy in my warm bed. Cough Cough Cough

Today is what Wednesday? Throat better, chills gone, fever gone, now my sinus feel like they are full of some alien ooze. Great.

I get online and my email box has been full since Monday.

My father did call me on Easter telling me he's been sick too, three weeks worth. Wonderful, I've been sick for 1 and half...he lost 18 pounds. Me so far, 10.

Guess Hubby's not as big a sissy as I thought!

Is it spring yet?

2008-03-15T10:02:00.000-07:00

A busy week with work, grand kids, and a household to keep up with. Mark has been sick and his sickness has draaaaaaaaaaagggggggggged to the point where all he does is sleep, go to work and stare blankly at the TV. I have tried to be patient, I rarely get sick and when I do I do generally try and ignore it and go on, usually with only a trace of whining. Because of this the household has fallen on me, even the smallest tasks, like dishes I have had to deal with.

Because my husband has been of no use and pretty much in his own world I have ignored him and gone about my own business. The weather has been warm and sunny so I have taken advantage of it by taking long walks in the evening. Thursday night my stepson told us about a car that was for sale in his subdivision. Liz's father gave her some money that could go to a car, this after she told him Mark would match what he gave her. Her timing perfect, tax time so he had some money. He has been neglectful over the years, I do not feel any shame in her asking him for money. The time has come for him to support his kid.

Liz and I took a look at the car, it is old but it is a type that I have had a couple of in the past. It is small but sturdy, good mileage and this one was in our budget. It did not leak oil, ran great, but smelled like an ashtray. The car belonged to an uncle of the seller who had suddenly died. We gave the kid our number and name and went home to wait, seems the seller had to discuss the matter with his sister. He immediately called me to ask me if I was related to my stepson as he had gone to school with my sons. I said "yes, I am the mom" and he told me if I brought the money that evening I could have the car for $200 less then asking price. Oh course I agreed. Liz is now a proud owner of a 1990 Plymouth Horizon. The car has it's flaws, a little rust, the door handles need replacing, but she runs great and for 500 bucks she will be a great first car for a girl who has only been driving under a year. Now I can sigh a huge relief,I no longer have to worry about my own car, which will be paid off in 4 short months.

I am trying very hard to not the let the stress of what my household has become get to me. Spring is upon us, they will all go back to work soon and I do enjoy having the grand kids come here a couple of times a week. Dakota and Jacob love my bus driver stories and they look at me wide eyed when I tell them the latest antics. Speaking of that I inherited a stop near my own route as the bus driver there got into a fight with a parent. I know the children and they can be quite a hand full, as matter of fact I drove them two years ago. They have blended in fine with my group. I just let them know who's boss but with a sense of humor and I usually know who to seat my kids. Usually....

Enough of that, this too shall pass, my husband will snap out of his funk, the sun will shine, the plants will grow, it will motorcycle season soon, and all this stress will be a distant memory.

it's a strange life...

2008-03-09T11:35:00.000-07:00

I have noticed over the years my life has been effected by it's far share of death. Of course there's plenty of life...kids born, marriages all that joy. But here's another death item...

This young girl was my cousin Dawn Niles. She was born deaf and when she was 15 she became pregnant by her 18 year old boyfriend. She disappeared one day and was found stabbed 30 times in a forest preserve. My father tells me her boyfriend was accused but his father got a lawyer and was never charged. Her younger sister never gave up trying to get this guy. It seems she talked to the right people and now the guy is in jail with a very large bond. DNA is available now. Now this poor girl can rest in peace. It was very surreal for me to see my own family member on the front page of a Chicago Newspaper.

I have had way too much action in my life lately. I have picked up some trips, and an extra day caring for Mrs. H. She has been worried lately, afraid she will have to go into a nursing home. I advised she take everything a day at a time...always has worked for me.

My husband got a horrible flu bug last weekend with a temperature that lasted for days. He's still whining....I've been glad to be away and busy.

Jeremy and Tracey sold their home. Slow work and expenses. She is at her mom's small home with the boys. Jeremy is here until he can find a house. They are looking for a house near us. That will be great....I love them kids.

Eric had a going away party Saturday night. He will be going to Wisconsin on the 17th. Menard's puts him up in a hotel for 2 weeks enough time to find an apartment. While I was at his house I never realized just how close the NIU shooting site was from his apartment. Just across a parking lot, while it was large it was still too close. Liz and I looked at the site...it has a flowing river right in front of it, made it seem peaceful....the crosses have been moved to a church, but the piles of flowers, stuffed animals remain. DeKalb has signs everywhere encourage the kids to move forward. Hope they can.

The weather is supposed to warm up to normal temperatures...I'd even settle for 40. We have two weeks until spring break.

I haven't let all this change effect me too much. I am looking forward to spring. I can't wait to get my hands dirty in the garden!

Timmy's 26

2008-02-27T19:17:00.000-08:00

The winter weather is really, really REALLY getting to me and the little darlings I deal with on a daily basis...some really really crazy stuff has been going on this past month. Way past the norm.

From a girl who took all her mom's medication in an attempt to kill herself, she failed thank God, to another one who ran away from home, my other students knew this plan never said a word, then today a bus driver flipped out and started screaming at my boss...

This is besides a back talking 5th grader, and a kid telling me I am too easy on them...<how so my little friend?> because he says I let them swear...Last I knew I really can't control what comes out of the mouth of a junior kid...short of a bar a soap. Besides this little brat was just trying to distract me ... he was standing up ... a huge no no in my book....pick your battles is my motto. I do not allow swearing I do my best to stop it.

My middle boy side swiped a guard rail, and had it not been snowing for the hundredth time this winter this could of been avoided. He was on his way home from Wisconsin after a job interview for the job he's wanted at the corporate office of Menards. He's only 23 and I am quite proud of him. He told me tonight he was offered the job, he was at work when he told me, details to follow. His car & he are ok, thank God.

Ok ... I say we all do a SPRING DANCE and ask Mother Nature to give us a break!

And...

my son Tim turned 26 today. He's my oldest and one of my proudest accomplishments!

I just love love love his girlfriend Kristen, she is a teacher and has a heart of GOLD!

So my friends... isn't it time for some sunshine and some nice weather???

would these gals be easier to transport??

2008-02-19T20:53:00.000-08:00

look who came to cheer me up!!

2008-02-17T11:22:00.000-08:00

Thanks for all the support guys! Days like these are exactly why I hang around J-land!

insight...on the changing new world...

2008-02-16T20:32:00.000-08:00

I guess the thing that freaks me out the most concerning the shooting was just how unsafe the world has become. At least my world. Where I live I still consider it a small town, one where you leave your door unlocked, you can be out at all hours of the night, even walking the neighborhood without fear of the boogie man. Maybe I am naive', but I am rarely afraid of driving in the nearby larger town that has gang problems.

DeKalb is such a place...the school is basically in the middle of a cornfield! The high school there's mascot is the huskers....cornfield get it? When I went for orientation with Eric in 2003 they bragged about how Cindy Crawford is from DeKalb. Yippee! Seriously DeKalb is wonderful school, to me I thought it would be the last place for such a rampage.

This person must of been pretty pissed off at somebody at NIU to drive from Champaign (roughly 3 hour drive), sit in a hotel for 3 days and then go to the largest lecture hall and start shooting. It's so surreal to me.

As one of the adults in a kids world I do listen to what they are saying. So many kids screaming out for somebody to care about them...somebody to guide them. I hear this guy had mental problems, went off his meds, perhaps trying to be normal. What is normal anyway. Normal used be two parents, a couple of siblings, mom was home all day and you had a dog. Now who knows who or what the kids go home to. Who knows what has to happen to a kid to make him grow up and do such an awful deed.

In my own family one of the kids is having serious marital problems. I am very saddened by this and the effect it will have on the family. I can only offer support and my love. And prayers...they do work.

Life goes on as it always does. Hug your kids, listen to them...they have a lot to say.

Thanks for listening.

stop the madness...

2008-02-14T17:14:00.000-08:00

Gunman Opens Fire on Illinois Campus

the day meant for love & hearts, one for me was one of upbeat phone calls from my son, telling me he is up for a job promotion, pretty sure he go the job...then the chilling phone call 2 hours later telling me that he was safe. Safe?

Information on the Shooting on the NIU Campus in DeKalb

Latest Information

6:50 p.m. CST, 2/14/08

At approximately 3 p.m. Thursday, February 14, 2008, a gunman,

carrying one shotgun and two handguns, opened fire in Cole Hall

on the campus of Northern Illinois University in DeKalb.

NIU Police officers were on the scene in less than two minutes

and the gunman was found dead of a self-inflicted gunshot wound

a short time later. Police have not released the identity of the

gunman. At this time, there is no known motive.

Eighteen students were transported to Kishwaukee Community

Hospital in DeKalb.

Another press briefing will be held at 7:30 p.m. in the

Altgeld Hall Auditorium.

This is the very school he once attended, the college right nearby his apartment complex he shares with his buddies from high school, kids who attend that college. It had been shot up by a crazy person. An individual so sick and mad that he brought a gun to an assembly hall meant for learning and shot at least 18 students...news is that 5 are dead including him by his own hand.

Eric's friends are safe. Liz is finding out via the Internet that her friends are ok too.

Eric's girlfriend from high school im'ed to let me know she was safe too.

She had drove by the hall just as students were running for their lives.

But the rest, God help them.

Just a year ago Monday my town lost 5 high school kids to a drunk driver. We mourned and feel their loss. Now this. NIU is 30 minutes from me, my son went to that school. He lives in that town, he works in that town. Now this.

God help us.

let the sun shine in.....

2008-02-13T19:08:00.000-08:00

One does not realize how the lack of sunshine makes a person very very blue...the month of Feburary had 15 minutes of sun...

UNTIL today!! We had SUNSHINE!

a very long week...

2008-02-08T15:44:00.000-08:00

whew, I can truly say TGIF today. This has been a week of messy weather, bratty kids and one cranky hubby.

The weather has just been a mess. Our district had school Wednesday but an hour into the day decided to send the kids home 2 hours early. In a district this size it's a huge undertaking. Parents must be called, drivers called back in early to drive the tikes home, etc. Half our district is bused by a bus company ... so even more confusion. After it was all said and done the decision was stupid, the weather actually was better two hours later when school actually normally ends. I had a huge hill to try not slide sidewise down so I sat for a while trying to decided what to do. I made it down fine, but my route got home very late...and none of my parents called looking for them, either they didn't miss them or they trusted me!

The junior high kids were nuts, and I had to threaten a 5th grader (very spoiled girl who's divorced parents fight over how much they can spend on her) with an exit off my bus to the principals office.

Tuesday was election day in Illinois. I will keep my pick to myself, but it was Liz's first election. The guy at the poll did not believe that she is old enough to vote, and he was openly surprised at the party she picked. All I could think of was a how narrow minded. But I live in the Midwest, we can be confused here at times!

Because the weather sucked this week Mark was behind on his trips for work each night. The other drivers took too long or when they got in the trailers had equipment problems or no lights. He is a perfectionist and tends to project that on co workers. Not mention the safety factor.

The weather is clear for the weekend which will make for a happier hubby.

me too...

I hear a huge cup of tea calling...

Fate or chance

2008-02-02T20:37:00.000-08:00

On Saturday and Sunday evenings I help an older lady. As I said before Mrs. H has been around a long time. She is what I'd call "old school". Her and I see eye to eye on a lot of subjects. Some days I feel overpaid, as I enjoy her company.

She lives in an apartment building that is for seniors and has a locked door for security.

This evening I stayed later than usual, no one had got her mail so I walked down the hall to get it. Most of the residents have their TV's blaring so when I heard a faint "Help me" I thought it was just a TV...then I realized it was a human. A lady had been taking her little very over weight small & grunting dog out to go potty and she had some how fallen down. Poor thing was on her knees, her cane that had four legs was holding the dog leash about 5 feet away from her inside the building. She was hanging on to the door jam outside for dear life. She was cold and scared. I kept my wits about me, got her cane, put my foot on it to steady it and let her pull herself up.

She was fine, and grateful. I was glad I stayed late as most of the residents are elderly and I doubt would have been able to help her up.

She thanked the Lord for me, and I said no need...I owe God....He and I are no where near even..

snow day!!

2008-02-01T15:44:00.000-08:00

A winter storm came through yesterday ... which means blowing snow, piling snow, too much snow equals SNOW DAY!

This week has had it all...50 degree temps followed by below zero temps, with 50 mile per hour winds, then clear and cold then yesterday snow.

Mark's job, because he drives a semi has always revolved around weather. In the dump truck/construction biz, whether he works/gets paid depends on good weather. Now he works regularly (regular pay!). He hauls mail from here to Indianapolis trades trailers with a driver from Atlanta and heads back home. Total trip should take 9 hours. Last night he left late as the guy he meets here was late because of the weather. He did fine but came home 5 hours later than usual. Mark is used to driving in bad weather, he's been doing this for most of his life. It's the other morons on the road who (and my own job included) scare the crap out of me. He told me cars/vans/trucks would pass coming faster than safe and he'd pass them later...in the ditch. At least he made it home safely!

After school was craziness trying to get kids home. I was fine, as driving in snow in a bus is easier than a car. But today's snow day was a welcome one. Winter is rough in the midwest --- kids get cabin fever...me too!

This morning I was off, but I still had to get Liz to work. Mark had my car so I had to take the pickup. Driving a pick up in snow is an exciting adventure. My driveway feeds into an alley. The village plowed the alley, but blocked my driveway with a wall of snow. I got the pick up out of the drive way fine, drove the kid to work fine, (only one lady tailgated, I had to move to the left lane to get rid of her), but getting back into my driveway required me to shovel my way back in.

my shoveling job...snow wasn't too heavy

Jim has been gone since yesterday plowing at O'Hare Airport. Liz is working at Target her own hours, and subbing for someone else. Her hours are cut to only one day a week anyway. Working 7 am until close is good for her!

Mark's asleep, he works tonight and tomorrow night.

I've been home alone all day!!!

Until...my son Tim called. He and his girlfriend are bring Chinese take out....and great ending to a wonderful day!

the boys are back in town!

2008-01-28T08:23:00.000-08:00

The grand kids spent the night on Saturday. I swear Dayton's grown a foot and no longer looks like a baby. He does act like a typical 18 month old. He has words, but he mostly wags his finger at me and says "stop it!" He also shakes his head no to every question. I am sure the 'stop it' is a game is to get a laugh. He is funny, but a lot of work. And just so darn cute.

The older two get along great and have a ton of patience with each other. They love super heroes, Jacob loves Batman, and Dakota's favorite is Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, but Jacob easily convinces him to play Batman.

Yesterday Liz and I took them to a children's museum. It's basically an indoor play area, with water tables, bubbles, two stories of educational interactive fun. We spent 2 and half hours there. Dakota still was mad we head to leave then. He threw a bit of a fit and a dad looked at me with that..."oh God I know how you feel" look.

After raising so many kids and babysitting full time in the past, temper tantrums don't scare this granny.

I love being the favorite Grandma! ;)

is it tuesday??

2008-01-22T19:56:00.000-08:00

I was off yesterday ... so all day today I thought it was Monday. I kept asking my monitor J how things were yesterday with her daughter, with Mrs. H ( the older lady we both work/help during the week), she kept saying you mean Sunday, right? Yeah, ok I am senile and I don't know what day it is! so shoot me.

Speaking of Mrs. H, she is a wise lady, she told me the herb Rosemary keeps you from losing your memory/mind/keeps you from going senile, she should know she'll be 96 next month and sharp as a tack. I have fresh bag of Rosemary in my kitchen, now all I lack is a strainer, boil it up, strain it and put in a spray bottle...the stuff is absorbed into your skin.

I need all the help I can get. Both my granny's lived to be in their 90's...but their minds went about 70...Dad's mom always thought when I would go to visit that I was bring Mark as a gift to her..."oh Rosie you brought me a man!", she'd say..."no granny hands off, he's mine!"

I am still busy as ever...at work, driving sucked today as it snowed last night. I even did a donut myself, in my car, NO silly, NOT the bus. Although kids have tried to get me to 'drift' the bus...it's some sort of crazy trick people, mostly morons I am sure do for fun.

Nice thing about a bus they don't slide like a car. I had to stop quick at a light (thank God I wasn't going fast) and I could feel my bus slide, not much no one but me noticed.

Always an adventure, my job....

It's going to be cold again, minus too much, but by weekend the temperature is expect to be in the high 30's. Thenit's bye bye to January. Mentally, I know when February comes is smooth sailing until March...the spring!

Life is going fine...a problem comes up we/I just deal with it....things are better with Mark working. There will be some decisions to be made in the Spring. The economy is still really really bad in the construction business. With the job he is doing now it's hauling mail, mail will always have to go through...construction not so much...my job too, kids will always need rides to school....I am secure with that.

We do what we can, God takes care of the rest...

And yes Florida...sounds wonderful right about now!

Liz in my dad's pool!

2008-01-19T14:16:00.000-08:00

Sunset St Pete Beach, Florida...

This has been an interesting week. My job is never boring nor normal. Just when I think I have things under control, some kid will say or do something to tip the balance of the group. Or the public or weather decides to act up....

For instance------------->

The weather made for some exciting driving...I am always on alert for other people's bad driving....going into a subdivision I was met by a daddy going to fast around a curve during a snow storm...he did a donut in front of me (he was driving toward me) and ended up on the other side of the road facing the other direction...thankfully my four year old student waiting at his stop was not standing at the curb. After catching my breath, I ask said Daddy how he was...I noticed two little ones in the back seat...properly secured in car seats...all were fine, but I wonder if his wife knows how fast he drives in bad weather My neck and shoulders are still sore from the stress of driving that day.

Also on tap this week is an 8th grader who is looking for attention. He has already tried me by eating hot peppers and spitting them out on my bus floor, leaning up against the side of my bus (near the rear tires) after his drop off, then this week he was lighting matches. Needless to say he got suspended after he did his match trick in the hallway at school. Please somebody help this kid!

Yesterday a third grader pleaded with me to let herself and her friend take their coats off in my bus...my heat was turned off, and the temp outside was 15 degrees. "But bus driver, M is going to throw up, she's crying, don't you care that she's crying???!!"

no...and don't throw up it's Friday and I wanna go home...after all it's a three day weekend!

Be safe and stay warm...

it's cold wish I was there....

2008-01-14T17:47:00.000-08:00

St Pete Beach 12/07

I am not a lover of the bitter cold...ok really I don't like cold weather at all! The temperature here in Illinois is a cold 10 degrees. colder by the weekend....

I miss the beach and the sun and the warm and the Palm trees!

the dolphin tour at Treasure Island

Oh well, reality check time...last week dragged for me as I was not used to being on a schedule so I was so darn sleepy most of the mornings. I am still trying to find my way through tons of laundry as now I have both summer vacation wear and winter to deal with. Oh well, it'll be there when I get to it.

It's going to be a long at least two months of cold weather...plenty of time to do housework...

The kids have been feeling the cabin fever too. It was a very naughty long afternoon bus run...Mrs Strict bus driver will have to rein for awhile...only way to have a sane, safe bus ride.

I miss the grand kids, now that things here a settling down & I have next Monday off, (love working for a school district!!) I think a baby visit is due.

In the mean time I'll get out the long johns, think of our vacation...and think warm thoughts!

Nice tan Rose!!!

is it really Jan 7th??!!

2008-01-07T16:57:00.000-08:00

We came home from our vacation on Saturday morning to 60 degree temperatures! Making our transition from southern warmth to northern winter much easier. Tonight we are in the process of having a thunderstorm...weird.

Going back to work today wasn't too bad. Mark starts his new 'winter' job tomorrow night. He will be trucking mail from here to Indianapolis Tuesday through Saturday night from 10 PM until around 6 am, he's guaranteed 9 hours and a very good rate of pay. I am very relieved as construction has been awful so his 'real' job has been slow then early layoff. We shall see what the spring brings as far as his other job is concerned. For now this is perfect. He worked for this company before and they love his work ethic so they were eager to give him this sweet run. It is coveted by other employees, as it has two days off in a row. But many of them don't come to work or milk the clock and get too much overtime. He'll be on nights but I am in and out all day and we have lived under worse work arrangements.

The vacation was great, much beach time and site seeing...I have lots of pictures to share. I missed the J-land reunion and am very bummed about that. But the family was being sort of a pain, each wanted to do their own thing and not enough time so I did not get to visit much. We will return next year during break. My father is fine health wise, but my step mom who is much younger misses just having someone around who likes to do touristy things. But the trip accomplished what I wanted, beach, dad and rest.

I am still trying to catch up on things.....which is normal for me.

In the meantime Christmas with the boys....

Jacob was very unhappy with the lack of toys for gifts, Dakota had to be bribed with a Hershey's kiss to smile and Dayton was just his normal happy baby self...

more handsome boys!

merry christmas & I'm in Florida!

2007-12-26T13:44:00.000-08:00

Christmas is over...we packed the car and headed south...arrived in St Petersburg, Florida this morning at 10 am...sunny, and 80...more later!

The mean old bus driver was right!

2007-12-17T18:50:00.000-08:00

Reality check time. My junior high group this year is a group of perfectly normal teens. Mostly skater (sk8r!!) boy types who on occasion will bring their skateboards on the bus and have learned to hand them over to me for safe keeping or face a long cold walk home. Some wear tight ripped jeans (rumor has it they shop in the girl's section), have long hair with bangs, mostly harmless lads who just wanna skate and have fun. Last week I observed (bus driver lingo) a few of them on a pond near the bus stop. I scolded them and told them that they had no idea how thick the ice was yet. And I did not want to fish them out before my morning coffee.

Flash to this past Friday evening a 19 year old fell through some ice in a town near mine. The current dragged him to the middle of the pond trapping him...his body was not found for two hours. He was gone.

Flash to this morning, of course me being a mother (nag, "I told you so") I asked if said skater boy had heard the news. He said yes...thought for a moment and said, "yeah but that ice was deep, our pond is only 2 feet deep!" WOW! the young!

So cute yet so stupid!

Also, the bus Gods have been pleased with me, I no longer am doing a alternative school route, I now have an extra 2 hours break in the afternoon. Yippeee!~

*** we are driving to Florida, my hubby used to drive over the road and we once made it to Los Angeles in 36 hours, we will be leaving Christmas evening & heading home on January 4th***

I am open to any J-land meetings!!

where's the time gone?????

2007-12-16T13:18:00.000-08:00

Neither snow nor sleet nor rain, nor dark of night has kept this bus driver from her duties. That being said this is actually the first day since the Thanksgiving break that I have had time to come here...to J-land. Please forgive my absence, I miss you all.

I have been one busy girl Along with my regular bus duties, I have had a few extra trips added, along with our Christmas party for work last Saturday. This year Liz and I have also chose to make many of our gifts. Great for the soul plus the added benefit of sitting down and creating.

Things are well here, Mark has found a winter job hauling mail for a nearby company. He worked there a few winters ago and they have great respect for his work ethic. This is good news for this job is an answer to much prayer. He loves his regular job, but construction being as it is, slow, we must think of ways to keep an income going during the slow times. He plans on going back to his regular job in April. He starts this job in January.

Our plan for the holidays is to leave Illinois for Florida on Christmas evening. We will be gone for 10 days, I long for the sun and the sand, not to mention the time spent with my dad. He is still a young 70 and is very excited about our coming.

Otherwise every one is fine here. The grand kids will be here next weekend, my son Eric is thinking about taking a job in Wisconsin traveling for Menards, the older sons are laid off also, but have a stand by job for a company that plows snow for O'Hare airport. Having children in their twenties is like watching a play, you sit and watch, clap, sigh and hope for a happy ending.

I am glad I am the age I am. I tend to look at the bright side of my life now. When I have a situation at work I tend to look for the humor, especially with kids. Just last week a group of 8 th grade boys were out on an icy pond at their bus stop...I told them to pleeeeeeeease stay off as they did not know how thick the ice was. I did not want to fish them out of the cold water so early in the morning. They gave me a hard time, but stayed off the ice at least in the morning.

I know there are many who are feeling great loss and sadness this time of year, but please please remember you are loved, there is always something to be learned each day and this too shall pass, God bless!

2007-11-29T17:42:00.000-08:00

My Thanksgiving break was both fun and full of rest. I used a couple of the days to just unplug and rest my brain. The stress of dealing with a bus load of kids and daily traffic has a way of wearing on a person. The break was a welcome one.

The food was plentiful and spending time with the kids was great too.

Dakota on Thanksgiving day...

The grandsons all had colds and drippy noses. Dayton is cutting molars so he's especially drippy. Isn't he cute all snotty and red!???

Jacob loves girls and has a crush on one of Liz's girlfriends. He also spent a lot of time with my son Tim's girlfriend Kristin on Thanksgiving day.. He's a smart boy, she can cook!

The boys came over Saturday night for a sleepover. I have been helping an older lady and she had asked me to come over Saturday night for a couple of hours. Mark stayed with the babies and even got them to put vicks on their throats. Kept them from coughing all night!

Sunday was a bit hairy as it's been freezing here, too cold to play at the park.

I only have three weeks until my Christmas break. I have been packing in as many extra hours as possible. Next week I have three extra trips.

Still planning a trip to Florida over break....so far so good....

happy thanksgiving...

2007-11-21T18:44:00.000-08:00

Dakota, a few weeks ago...

I am enjoying a well deserved day off...Both Monday and Tuesday nights I had sports trips that lasted until 8:30 in the evening. The weather has been awful, rainy, and cold and now snow is expected. I actually enjoyed the trip the basketball time was polite and well behaved. I am actually off work until Monday.

We are going to Jeremy and Tracey's house for Thanksgiving. This is odd in that last year we were not allowed, because Mark's ex was going to be there. Now she is coming in the morning so we are invited for dinner. We are very civil to one another, but kids even as adults have weird ideas about relationships. I was surprised by this invite. I heard about it in the middle of buying my Thanksgiving dinner on Monday morning. At first I was mad, thinking we were only being invited as after thoughts, but my better judgement took over, and was actually relieved, less cooking for me! I put most of the dinner back on the shelves, saved the Turkey, he was on sale. Him, I will cook Friday.

The boys will be here Saturday night. I miss them a lot and I know having grandma time is so important to them too.

Dayton...same day...

So today I am grateful and blessed. I will be with all my children tomorrow. And I give God the Glory!

Being Thankful

2007-11-17T08:04:00.000-08:00

Hubby & me...at the wedding reception.

I am finally having a free Saturday to sit at one of my favorite places...my computer and catch up with J-land. This is a busy time of year and it seems to be getting earlier than ever! Christmas music in the air & lights up are one thing, but those balloon things up in people yards is too, too much! At least let's enjoy fall people!

My entry today is all about being thankful...I tend to freak out less when I remind myself of what I have and where I've come from...I am one blessed girl, but still tend to hang out in the land of fear. Not a nice place for sure...

My family and friends are so important to me. I tend to not nurture my friendships, usually back away from letting people get too close, but I think I have matured and grown out of that. I am even letting people hug me, weird...but nice. I have some old friends that work with now. It's so wonderful to have them around.

Last Sunday went to a small store front church with a girl at work...it was a very, very powerful experience for me. God has always been good to me, me not so good back. I tend to be a control freak and try and plan out everything in my life. Not so easy, but I am learning (again) to step back do what I can and let God do the rest.

I am off work Wednesday through Sunday! Monday & Tuesday and 5 hours school days, and I do have a sports trip Monday night. BUT I made sure I have off the rest of the week. To be filled with family, food and fun...I've earned the time off.

I am also thankful that my hubby is working today. Saturday work has been no where to be found this construction season & with a short week next week we are very blessed to have this extra work.

I truly believe, but have a hard time practicing, that what we focus on we become. Today I am focusing on my wonderful life, and while I still have some problems they will all work out in the end...life is good. Have a wonderful weekend!

Bobby's wedding

2007-11-12T08:31:00.000-08:00

My children...Liz, Eric, Tim and I...

I've known Bobby's father since I was a teen going to the local pool and he was a life guard. Bobby always played sports with my boys so his mom and dad became fast friends of ours during our 'going to the kid's sports' days. Bobby's mom now works with me and we have always had a warm friendship. After college my son Tim & Bobby shared a house along with a few other guys. When it was time for Bobby to get married he chose my son to be his best man.

The wedding was this past Saturday. And I have to say the wedding was beautiful, but the reception was awesome...very very fun. These kids wanted to put a good party and they succeeded.

I danced! To Britney Spears! But sorry no dirty dancing, that was saved for the over 60 crowd!

fall fun

2007-11-08T08:34:00.000-08:00

Grabbing a moment to share my family fall fun from last weekend. I am doing this to remind myself just how blessed I am. I will be by to visit very soon!!

Thank you all for being my online friends!

Dakota, Dayton & Jacob. It's nearly impossible to get them all to stand still to snap a group picture.

Baby Dayton is getting so big!

It's hard to see with the shadows but this is grandpa and the two big boys. We had a great time with the leave pile!

Hallween, work and too much sugar!

2007-11-03T18:57:00.000-07:00

My busy life, filled with work, family and of course FUN!

Jacob...he was all hugs and smiles this weekend!

Way too busy!

My work schedule is nothing like years past. Gone are my lengthy breaks, no more Wednesday midday's off. I am lucky to get an hour in the am, and a short break in the pm. The morning break have been being used for errands. Now I know how normal working people feel...but work is good so I do not complain.

Some days I am lucky to get a quick nap in one of the seat in the school bus! Thank God for cell phones with alarms...

I survived Halloween, always a chore for educators and anyone who deals with children. And to top the week off there was threat of violence at one of high schools so my normally fearless junior high kids were freaking out and spreading their own rumors, which I put an end to. Thankfully we had no school yesterday, hopefully the candy will be gone and the kids can go back to their less sugared up selves.

We went with the grand kids trick or treating. It was very entertaining to see their excitement.

Jacob and Dakota were Knights...

Dayton the Dragon of course! or the Candy monster, take your pick.

The kids were here overnight yesterday. Thank God grandma gets an extra hour of sleep tonight. Next week proves to be even busier for me, with an evening trip for work Monday, and I have started a part time job one evening a week helping a senior, Wednesday I am subbing for a friend. But I have my eye on the prize...Christmas break...on the beaches of St Petersburg, Florida for a visit with dad!

Stay safe!

too warm for fall

2007-10-20T16:24:00.000-07:00

The weather is extremely warm here in the Midwest for mid October. Today was a lovely 75, tomorrow promises to be warmer. The trees which should be a blaze with color are just now turning...orange, reds, yellows. I know this because my son Eric will be 23 on the 24th and I remember coming home with him from the hospital to a lovely autumn show. Every time in the past I tried to have an outdoor birthday party for Liz or Eric it was so cold we froze.

Today I watched the grand kids at their house, Mark's ex was there in the morning. They baked ... I reaped the rewards...yummy cupcakes and cookies. We were cordial, I have little regard for her as a person, she is the type that never takes responsibility for her actions, ever. But I do show respect to her, she is my stepkid's mother. Later the boys and I played outside and then indoors in their bedroom. Jacob did not want me to leave.

Dakota is officially growing up. He posed for this shot at the farm and he no longer says, "me" when referring to himself, he now says "I". The little guy is growing up!

So far this has been a great weekend...Mark even took a walk around the neighborhood with me! Enjoy the weekend!

Liz turns 19

2007-10-19T18:12:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow my girl turns 19. Wow does time fly by. Seems only a while ago we were playing Barbie & doll house...her favorites.

My niece happened to have these pictures posted to here face book blog. She must have a scanner, I do not.

This is Liz's first Christmas. Look at how lovely my hair is....a grown out perm dyed reddish...I was a single mom of three, no job, living with my parents...

This must be when Liz was around 1 or so...with my niece, Jeni...still living with my folks, except now my brother (Jeni's dad) and nephew live with us & my folks. Saints they were!

The child never liked to wear clothes...Looking back I realize how faith and a lot of hard work can bring a little family into a wonderful life. My children and I have come so far!

My kid today...she designed this bouquet in floral design last school year. Sometimes I do believe she raised me. She is an old soul and wise beyond her years. She is my idol, my heart and I am so very proud to be her mother.

Happy Birthday Liz!

A boy & his ruff

2007-10-14T13:17:00.000-07:00

If you look on Bandit's head you can see he even held onto Dakota's motorcycle guy for him...smiling the whole time.....

working for a living....

2007-10-13T07:53:00.000-07:00

I am finally able to take a moment to update! My work schedule has become so full that I have only bits and moments of time to jump on the computer! Mark and I both have been blessed with extra hours. YAY!

I had the boys all last weekend. It was very hot, 90's, but we had already planned a trip to the Pumpkin Farm. Mark was working so Liz came with me. The boys had a blast. I am the type that would rather see them enjoy whatever they choose at this type of place rather than run through and see every thing...they were able to play in the corn, dig in the sand, climb a straw bale pile. We took a ride in a wagon pulled by 2 draft horses. The man who was steering the horses let the kids sit up front with him.

Lucky Grandma had great timing too. The farm was having a special event complete with Monster Trucks. Jacob's favorite Gravedigger was there!

The day was topped off with yummy Apple cinnamon donuts! Go Grandma!!

the weekend....

2007-09-30T12:56:00.000-07:00

The nice thing about being a grandma and a mother of grown children is that most weekends are mine...well, mostly...I do have a husband too!

I have been mostly wandering around my house, doing this and that. Weekends like this are nice, they recharge the soul.

My husband is very sports minded. Today he is flipping between the Chicago Bears, Nascar racing and golf...yawn!....he would be watching the Cubs if they were playing...after all the Cubbies have won their division! The Cubs have long been known to be cursed and haven't won the world series in forever. Cubs fans are going nuts. I used to follow them way back when I was a child...I even kept a score sheet while I watched the games. I could name the whole team, one of the players, Ernie Banks came to my grade school. He had a motto each year...that year it was the Cubs will shine in 69. boy that does age me. I think I still have his autograph.

Today would have been my mother's 69th birthday. She's been gone for 8 years. Time is a weird thing...it feels like so long ago...but I can still feel her all around me. She is missed.

It's still unseasonably warm here in the Midwest, but no complaints from me. Liz and I went to the nearby Methodist church this morning. I've gone many times over the years. I tend to be a wanderer when it comes to church too. We went to the contemporary service...as soon as I walked in an older lady I've know forever grabbed me and hugged me. "Thanks, Donna" hugs are always welcome. She promptly scolded me for my wet hair. I love that.

We all could use more hugs!

balance

2007-09-26T08:17:00.000-07:00

I am feeling much better today. The weather has been an unseasonably hot, 90's and sitting in a big yellow tube all day can get to you...plus road construction has been horrible. Yesterday I saw a little car try to driver under a semi trailer...needless to say he didn't make it. My midday preschool route is growing and is now up to 24. I no longer have Wednesday mid days off so now I am having to actually work for my pay. That's ok, it forces me to manage my time better.

Today is much cooler and the headache I had from the weather change is now gone.

A video game name "Halo 3" came out yesterday so that was the topic of my junior high route. This kept them occupied the 10 minute trip to school. I have had to use much humor in keeping them in line. They were allowed to stand last year and I told them to stop living in the past that the rule is sit while the bus is moving.

Being creative is also useful for grade schoolers. There has been a war going on in the back of the bus between the older and younger kids. I only have 20 kids total on the bus, but kids are kids. I solved this by assigning a day for each grade level, starting with first grade. They each get their own day to sit in the coveted back seats. So far so good.

A couple of days ago my neighbor who is 5 and rides my bus yelled at my daughter, who was sitting on a bench in the yard, out his window.

----"hey girl! do you know that my bus driver lives in your house??"

see they can be cute after all!

Ovarian Cancer awareness

2007-09-24T12:15:00.000-07:00

September is Ovarian Cancer month...we have a friend who passed away from the silent killer nearly 5 years ago. She wasn't diagnosised until she was already stage 3.

Every year her husband has a bike run/fund raiser for the hospital that she was treated at, for research and treatment of others.

Yesterday was a gorgeous sunny day. We started at a Harley Davidson dealer a few towns from here. There were over 200 bikes that traveled the 15 miles to a VFW in another town. There is nothing like the roar of 200 bikes!

Her motto was turning a whisper into a roar...

here is a copy of the poem she wrote when she got sick...she was truly a hero!

Turning a Whisper into a Roar

I never thought I would get it, so healthy I lived my life,
It snuck up upon me, a whisper, oh the strife.
I did not know Ovarian Cancer, I did not know its signs,
So much I've learned since then, I've read so many lines.

There is no magic dust, no magic cure for me,
Like so many others, it wasn't caught till Stage 3C.
So there were surgeries and chemos, there were doctors and nurses you'd adore
It would have been nice to meet them through a totally different door.

I saw the fear and pain within my mother's eyes,
My husband was so supportive, holding me for those needed cries.
I knew I had a fight ahead, so courage I had to muster,
There was no time for half-baked schemes or anything lackluster.

They say Ovarian Cancer is a Silent Killer, that it whispers as it spreads,
Too many have been dying, too many now-empty beds,
I knew I had to yell, to scream from a mountaintop,
To bring awareness out there, no one could make me stop.

There is no detection test, a pap smear does not do it,
We have to come upwith one, we have to see to it.
And therefore the awareness run was born, a run with cars and bikes,
To have some fun and raise some funds, so others wouldn't have to fight.

Through many sponsorships and donators, a successful event we had,
We hope to make it annual, for this I am truly glad.
If this event saves one person, our efforts haven't been in vain
Research dollars and awareness are what we have to gain.

So many special people, so many special friends,
I've been so blessed in life to have support that never ends.
I'd like to take this time to thank you, for the many things I am thankful for,
But especially to thank you for helping me Turn a Whisper into a Roar!

Dorene Gae Knapp

A very long month

2007-09-22T17:32:00.000-07:00

This has been a very long beginning to school. Most likely because I had no real break for summer I feel like I have been driving forever. I am sure most people who work normal 9 to 5 jobs must think I am feeling sorry for myself...true, but usually my self pity is very short lived. I am always the first to leave a pity party....too boring!

My routes are behaving... finally. Usually the first few weeks are either the honeymoon period or a period of testing. Rarely do I have a honeymoon group. This year is no different.

I have been very busy at work, but I love my job and the perks are great. I think we have at least two paid days off next month.

But there are days when I am emotionally burned out. It's a rough world out there, so fast too.

The kids were here last night into today. They are growing so fast. Jacob will be going to school next fall! They are becoming quite firm in their personalities too.

Remember last year when Jacob would hide when the camera came out? Now he poses for me!

But a few behaviors, such as telling me no, (a big no no, I remind them who they are speaking to), and thinking they can boss me around have to checked at the door.

Dakota does not like his picture taken, I always try and remember that he is still only 2, won't be 3 until December. He tends to be the one doing most of the bossing around. He also has no tolerance for Dayton the baby...but Dayton is becoming quite the bully himself. But as with my own kids they fight and make up quickly.

Dayton who at 15 months still has to be watched like a hawk as he is into everything... his head tends to lead when he walks, resulting in a few crashes.

The weather has been great, the men are working as is Liz...the bills are getting paid and there's food on the table...life is good.

2007-09-06T19:08:00.000-07:00

At my job we have over 100 drivers & at least 50 bus monitors. They discourage us from working over 40 hours as the school district does not like to pay overtime. We can work over 40, but they don't like it. Actually I am paid twice per month and they figure out my contracted hours and then divide them by how many pay periods we work. That way we get paid over spring and winter break. It works it very nice for us.

Everything is by seniority and they have some goofy formula to figure out how to award trips. Trips are a hot commodity as they are easy money and usually put a person into over time. I bid a bunch for next Saturday and won a soccer trip toward Chicago in Lyons Township which is near the Brookfield Zoo. It's all 4 high school grades so it should last all day...which is sweet.

Work has been extremely slow for my husband as it's rained every week including this one. Bums him out, but throughout our marriage one or the other of us is usually doing most of the work load. I wish the weather would behave he makes twice as much money as I do ;) Things always balance out...

Today's midday went well again with the exception of one kid that is a very large 3 year old. Mom said he'd cry and he whimpered a bit when we did our drop at the school. He was fine after he got off. Most usually are. School is just too much for some.

I did have one little guy behind me pretending to be shooting a gun, most boys including my own, and my grandsons love guns. When mine were young I was into being more of an Earth momma, I am still bit of a hippie. My kids were breastfeed and I made all their baby food. I was very anti guns. My sons had other ideas, they used to make guns out of the mega legos, Tim once took a bit out of a saline and began shooting. Jacob uses race tracks for guns....::::sigh:::: my daughter never did that.

My day went much smoother, I only got yelled at by one mom. She wanted to be sure I had her kid seat belted before I went the 3 houses down from her to pick up the next stop. Yesterday I was extremely late, we only belt pre schoolers to keep them tied down for everyone's good. Seat belts are not mandatory in buses. That is another subject up for debate. I feel little ones should be belted in because they tend to stand up, BUT I also feel children are perfectly save in a bus. Having 50 kids in seat belts is a nightmare. Imagine a burning bus and one person trying to be sure 50 kids unbelted and got off the bus safely??? I once heard people stating they feel the only reason there aren't seatbelts in all the seats of buses is because of money. Not true...it's because no bus drive wants to liable for seeing to it that 50 kids are belted in.

Ok, I am off my soapbox.

The kids are coming over tomorrow night, they will be here until Saturday afternoon. I have milk, peanut butter and 'ookies...grandma's ready!

Oh the kid in the U-tube clip is fine, once they knocked him out and straightened out his arm he was in less pain. He's only upset that his football career is most likely over...at least for this year.

2007-09-05T18:52:00.000-07:00

Thanks to two older brothers Dayton has played with anything with wheels since he could grab them...complete with sound effects....usually involving spit.

I am spending next Saturday with them, then to the yearly county fair for a date with Hubby.

Today was my first full day of routes. In the morning I go in later than last year but after my routes I shuttle a girl to the other high school for a class. Still my morning is a short one.

Today my midday was living hell...the main highway to my first pick up is now full of strip malls and large department stores. At every entrance is a stop light. About a mile from my first pick up is a new Menards/JC Penneys/Office Depot complex. This line of intersections have been a work zone for months. I went through there yesterday (in my car) with no problem. Today the road was down to one lane, took me extra time and of course I was then very late. This after leaving base (where we keep our buses) early.

Parents of pre schoolers, especially the first day are antsy. Mine were no different. Fortunately my group of 20 are quiet and well behaved. Many are not from our country, but they do know who Sponge Bob is!

My monitor and friend Julie has been with me for this being our third year. The girl is a saint. She understands children and most of all me! It was also hot today...and I had hot flashes...YAY!

I was supposed to do another shuttle after my pre school route but I was too late.

I am getting over 40 hours per week. My husband has been praying for extra hours for us...ok now he needs to pray for him to get extra work, I am tired...

U tube & the boy's brother's broken arm

2007-09-02T20:14:00.000-07:00

I don't know if I did this right, but Tim and Eric's half brother broke his arm a few weeks ago at football scrimmage. It's pretty gross so if your screamish don't look...the goofy kid posted it on U-Tube

the water is receding

2007-09-02T17:36:00.000-07:00

We explained to Jacob that the park had flooded so we would have to play at the grade school. After a bit he wanted to know why our park was floated.I think he finally understood after Liz explained to him the difference between flooding and floating. At least I think he did. You never know, that child has a memory that goes on forever. He'll come in pretty handy, because mine is really going to hell.

Happy days at the park before the flood.

Jacob told me the other day that Dakota dropped his flame sunglasses in the driveway and mommy ran them over....the little trooper told me he'd glue them and they'd be fine. Always Mr junior fix-it that kid.

This morning my husband was outside mowing the lawn and I came out to read the newspaper. Afterward he joined me as we sat on the lawn chairs which were located near our garbage cans. I went inside for a moment when suddenly he came running in the house telling me that as we sat enjoying small talk a young opossum had been laying in the garbage can amid the empty pizza boxes deposit by my kid.

Poor guy just looked up at me as if to say, "come on lady, I got in this thing now get me out!". We freed him and off he went. Living by the river we have all sorts of creatures hanging around our home. I hear the town nearby has had at least 20 rabid bats that have been hanging around people's homes. One old granny was bit by one. Right now with all the rain we have huge spiders building their webs in our bushes outside our windows. They look scary but I know they are harmless, but try telling my big stepson that.

My front yard has become quite the habitat for bees, butterflies and hummingbirds, I have even spied a finch or two. I gave up on trying to weed it. The weeds are happy enough living amongst the hostas and ivy.

Enjoy your Labor Day!

Schools in....

2007-08-31T12:22:00.000-07:00

Schools started Wednesday ... I have two challenging groups but fortunately I now know to be proactive in making sure the rules are enforced.

My junior high group is large and a bit smart assy, thinking if they told me that last years driver made special drop offs I would actually care and do it also...NOT. Kids today are way to lazy and a short walk to their homes from a bus stop is NOT unfair or child abuse.

The kids came over last night ... we went to the park and fun was had by all...

Tracey is learning to cut hair. We are going to a wedding tomorrow and I really needed a trim. This afternoon she trimmed my hair, next week she learns how to layer. My hair needs some layers so next week I will have layers. I have some pretty handy kids! They make cute kids too!

Dayton,

Dakota, the kids never stand still enough for me to take any good pictures. they will be back next weekend...I'll try again!

water, water everywhere....

2007-08-24T20:17:00.000-07:00

We had major flooding in my part of the world this past week. Chicago proper and the northern suburbs had many old trees down and loss of electric power. Some of these trees are very old and landed on cars and people's homes. I feel so blessed that our large trees did not come down.

As for us we only had a little water in our old basement. Our basement is limestone filled with mortar...at the height of the storm last night a big stream of water squirted in through the limestone. It looked like someone stuck a hose in the wall and turned on the water. Luckily it landed in the old water softener and only lasted a few minutes before it stopped. We do not use our basement for anything of value so fortunately nothing was lost.

Today during my dry run for my new route, which is in my own neighborhood, I watched people walking around the river that is about two blocks from my home. It is the Fox river and the park I take the boys to is underwater.

This evening I took a walk to the library and took this picture of the pathway to the park.

On the right side of the picture is a creek that runs into the river. Tomorrow I will go take some day time shots. This pathway leads to the park.

It was too dark to take pictures of the park that was totally under water. The Fox River is still rising so it will be a while before the park will be usable again.

I have been very busy this week with trips. Yesterday one of the two storms that came through hit just as I was getting ready to pick up my girls tennis trip. It was canceled of course, but I was still paid for three hours.

As I said we bid on our trips and I am pleased with the one I got. The grade school kids are my own neighborhood so they shall be easy to deal with. Kids usually don't like to misbehave when they know their neighbor is taking them to school.

Tomorrow I head toward the city (Chicago) with the freshman football team. I know it will be a muddy messy affair and I will not be taking my own bus as it is down for repairs. It sat all summer and the safety gate in the front of the bus has stopped working. It's in the morning so I will have the rest of the weekend to relax. School starts Wednesday and I am very ready for a routine. Hope this rain stops soon so my son and husband can go back to their routine!

I hear the 10 year drought in Texas is over!! anybody want me to send some water your way???!!!

saturday...wish it was sunny

2007-08-18T15:13:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was a glorious sunny coolish (high 70's) low humidly day & of course I was stuck indoors in an all day meeting for work. That's ok though it was a paid all day meeting.

I had trips early in the week and they all went well. Today I went to our base/work and looked over the many routes for this coming school year. I have about 10 picked out. I usually get close to what I want as many driver do not like to drive junior high kids. I prefer them to high school as they still have some innocence and respect for authority. Bidding is Tuesday morning. This process takes forever...but it's fair.

Next week I have four trips again. I am off Monday and Friday, but I will have to drive a dry run of my routes after we pick them on Tuesday, so I will need to fit that in. And I work Saturday morning. Three of the trips are for sports: soccer, tennis and freshman football. I have no clue as to why none of the senior drivers bid on any of the trips this next week except maybe they don't want to come off summer break early.

Again fine by me....it's easy money.

Last night my son called me to tell me his 9th grade half brother got hurt in his football scrimmage. The poor kid's arm was broken so bad it was shaped like an S. Tim called me this morning and said his brother is doing fine, it got reset to the poor kid's relief and he will be in a full arm cast for 6 weeks.

I get along well with my son's father. We have been divorced since 1985 and we both worked hard to get along. His wife is fine too. Forgive and forget...no good comes from holding grudges for things that have changed and are long over. Their dad and I should never had been together in the first place...we are total opposites. We are much better people apart. We have both proved time and time again that we are good parents to our children. They even used to invite Liz over when she was a wee one. And after I got married to Mark his kids often went with my boys to their dads for visits. There is a fine line that has to be kept to avoid weirdness, but things have turned out fine.

Tim is the one who was in the softball tournament last weekend. They got third and are going to the State finals.

It's over Labor day, and we have a wedding to go to ... but I'd still like to try and go and cheer my kid on...I never tire of being my kid's number one fan!

Tim is in the front row third from the right behind the trophy.

The weekend

2007-08-13T12:46:00.000-07:00

Hiccup boy did stop..& did go to sleep, but awoke at 6:00 am. Thankfully, Liz had worked the night before and came home in time to give me a 1 hour nap.

Saturday Mark worked so my mission was to play, play and play with the grandsons.

First we went to the store, then to the most favorite park...

Look closely and see baby Dayton's little size 4 black crocs! He still hasn't mastered the idea to sit down and slide!

We then went home, ate lunch, took a nap, played in the pool...afterward we headed to my son Tim's softball tournament. More playground and then home to another bath and bed...guess who slept 11 hours!??? oh I did too!

2007-08-12T19:20:00.000-07:00

Did you know that a one year old can hiccup for 90 straight minutes?

Yes, he can, I experienced it first hand at 2:30 am....

2 snoring childlren

2007-08-10T20:21:00.000-07:00

Two of the three grand babies are snoring away ... . Mark's ex was at it again, knowing we were going to have the boys she tried to get Dakota and Jacob to come to her trailer ... Jacob refused. She is a repeat offender and only asks for them on the weekends she knows we will have them here. Oh well, Jeremy is going to bring Dakota over tomorrow as he feels it too hot for him. They have a wedding that Tracey is in so the boys will be here until Sunday.

It was most likely for the best as Jacob feel asleep at 8:00 on the couch and after a walk/run with his short stumpy legs Dayton had a bath and a bottle and passed out.

After not working all week my husband is working tomorrow...time and a half...weird, but I am thankful. Seems a job they weren't going to do because of some union B.S. they are now doing.

I made a deal with my husband if he got a winter driving job (he gets laid off in January and we try and survive on his unemployment and my income) I'd bid on every extra trip at work...this week I did. AND for next week I have a trip every single day!

So much for my summer off...that's ok, we really need the money and I don't mind. One of the trips is to a water park, and another is to a mini golf course. The other two are to nearby pools. And Friday we have our all staff meeting for work.

I never turn down work. now my husband has to keep up his end of the deal!

Better hit the bed, the boys love to be early raisers

what day is it??

2007-08-09T10:36:00.000-07:00

The biggest problem I have with not working a regular route is a routine. I am a creature of habit, and tend to wander if I don't have to be anywhere at any certain time. The weather has been down right tropical with rain everyday. The heat and humidly makes for a sauna effect outdoors. I don't mind. The other evening I walked to the library and pictured the downtown area as it would be during our annual Christmas walk. It's usually freezing and/or snowing. That thought cooled me right down and while I enjoy fall, winter in the Midwest is too long. I am a more the warm climate type. I am not whining about the heat, it's just the rain. Oh well this too shall pass.

I worked yesterday. There are six schools that house the day care groups during the summer. Every Wednesday they all go to a nearby water park. The kids love it. During the ride there one kid decided to freak out after the teacher told another aide that he would be 'watching' over him during the stay at the park. This kid screamed "I don't want anyone to watch me!" Two kids nearby egged him on, which didn't help. I just smiled, kids freaking out is not a bother to me.

On the way home though, the kid came on the bus with a big gauze patch over his eye. Ooopsy, see kid that's what happens when you freak!

Today, I am still doing some cleaning/throwing away of papers. I tend to save papers, they have no use but I do come by it honestly, my grandmother was a hoarder, she came from the "old country" Czechoslovakia. She used to save baggies of coins in her big bra. Of course this is not the depression nor am I big enough to stuff anything anywhere on my person.

I even found an old 5.0 version of AOL in a box!

Out with the old in with the new!

RAIN!

2007-08-06T18:10:00.000-07:00

It's been hot and raining for the last two days. The temp has been in the high 90's with heat index of 105. My husband doesn't work when it rains. So the never used brand new Air Conditioner came out. It made a huge difference especially when there is soooooooooo much togetherness with me and hubby stuck indoors!

There's painting on the house to do, but it's outside and the rain makes it too wet to paint.

I am just enjoying being off and doing whatever I want.

Oh and my mammogram that I had done today was NORMAL...YAY!

Tomorrow's another day!

Jacob....

give it a day or two things will change

2007-08-05T16:05:00.000-07:00

I never get tired of looking at my little guys! Above is an old one of Dayton, he's changed so much in just a few months.

Right at this moment my hubby is talking to his step mom. The step mom who said I was controlling, the one who was mad at him, the one who I think is just getting old, lonely, or just plain bored and like to stir up stuff....I did send her another card, one written by Liz thanking her for her gift, I also added that my husband enjoyed talking to her especially sharing stories of his dad...that must of worked because she called.

Or maybe Mark's sister who likes to have one too many Buds and has a few issues from childhood made up a lot of the stories.

Who knows, I don't care, they are talking...a happy hubby is...well...you know the rest...

Liz got registered for school Friday. She only goes Tuesdays and Thursdays all day, great for the gas usage....school is about a quarter tank of gas a day so....I am happy about that. She can change her work to days and still have time to do homework.

She went with her boyfriend and his family to Southern Illinois where he goes to school to move him in. He is an R/A this year and a Junior. We never allowed her to go before because we felt a high school child didn't belong at a college. Now she's old enough. Besides, they have been dating for nearly 3 years, there is no reason to hurry the process. I still don't get why so many kids are in such a hurry to grow up. I'd love to go back in time and do a lot over...but I suppose I wouldn't be the me I am now.

That is mainly why I have forced myself to slow down and enjoy life more. Pay attention to what is going on right now and appreciate it. I missed so much in my past because I was always looking ahead, worrying, never satisfied with where I was. It took me to reach 50 to stop and realize this...Life is always subject to change. We must do the best we can and believe that everything is as it should be.

We should never give up on our dreams...God is always in control, not me!

Next weekend we have the kids all weekend. Tracey is in a wedding. I am looking forward to it. Next week I only have one work related trip on Wednesday. Otherwise I am free....hopefully the rain will go away so I can enjoy!

I will anyway!

2007-08-02T11:37:00.000-07:00

Liz's biological father came into town this past weekend. Just like he promised the judge and me, he brought the check for his part of her freshman year at the Junior College. He works for a major airline so he and family members can fly anywhere the airline goes for standby/for free. This was why I never pressed him for more child support I feared he'd cry to the judge about his "rights" and want me to send her to him because she is also able to fly for free. I just couldn't see putting a 6 year old on a plane, and have him not be at the airport, he had proved how undependable he was in the past.

Her last visit with him was when she was 6. I finally let him take her alone, before he only had supervised visits per my choice. During support hearings the judge gave him very limited visitation, he only argued the amount of support, because he had so many other children. To this the judge replied, "you make them, you pay for them, get another job" After the day long visit he brought her back and she promptly threw up and had a major asthma attack. Then he disappeared for 6 months only to call me to tell me he was moving.

So as fate would have it Liz and her boyfriend Mike drove out to T's sister's house on Sunday. The family was there, aunts, uncle, cousins...and the all smoked....well, not the 5 year old, but give her time.

And to top off the smoke feast they all bitched about how the state of Illinois has passed a law banning smoking in public spaces. hmmmmmmm how some things never change.

But Liz did say she got to see her half sister (the peacemaker who always tries to keep intouch with all the kids/ex-wives/ex-girlfriends). She did get her GED and is going to nursing school.

Liz is still in some sort of "I am giving the guy a chance" mode...that's up to her. She is my daughter and no one can change that.

She did get her college check, and some coupons to fly. I told her she should go see grandpa in St Pete.....

Rosie the repairman

2007-08-01T20:12:00.000-07:00

After the plumping mess we had over the Christmas holiday we had a huge water bill. The village bills for both water usage and sewer. Since what goes in must come out our bill was high on both ends (ha). When trying to unclog the clog my husband ran the water out of ever faucet he could...hence the high water bill.

Shortly after this our never in 12 years used by us water softener which is still hooked up via the plumbing but not plugged in sprang a leak. It was a big leak too coming out a hose. Being the impulsive type I simply cut the hose off thinking it was just the left over water in the tank leaking. NO of course not it was water right from the system. Our stupid solution was to stick the hose down the drain and wait until we could figure out the problem....then I just pinched the hose hoping this would stop the leak, no it just dripped some place else. My basement is old, limestone & is always damp in the summer. later, my being too cheap to call a plumber made things worse.... our water bill continued to climb. Now my village is very much into water conservation...there's water bans, water restrictions and that sort of thing. Do you think said village could give us a notice on how high the water usage was?? nope, BUT after freaking out, I took action. I looked at the mess of pipes in my basement and figured out how to by pass the old relic of a softener...deed done no more drips!

Now I needed my husband to figure out these problems....well he did do the plumbing I supervised...

~emission light on car came on....eeeeeeeee ... the car is due to go to the emission lanes and last time this happened to our truck (check engine light) itcost $600 to fix!

solution? hubby tightened gas cap.new driver daughter had gotten gas and didn't tighten cap....fixed

Same for the sun roof, a piece of plastic broke off...hubby fixed it again....

I wonder if there is a business for this type of simple problem solving??

me, Kota

2007-07-28T19:44:00.000-07:00

... the gallon of milk is empty, the cats have come out of hiding, the dog has cleaned up the cracker crumbs all over the kitchen floor...the boys must of left! The boys were here overnight and we had quite a visit. Dayton is trying very hard to talk, he jabbers nonstop saying, "hey baby"...to me following me all over the house. He also is quite the walker.

My stepson Jeremy fishing with Dakota...4/2007

We noticed that the boys can be quite demanding, and being we raised the others with manners and hope that the grand kids would have the same we tried to correct them when the began asking for things...so "Grandma get me some milk" became "Grandma may I, can I have some milk please"--Jacob. Dakota at 2 1/2 still doesn't use proper nouns, everything is "me want...or me want milk please" or "him want this". And if you try and correct him..."me, I want"...he'll figure it out. Their parents have noticed this too and I see them trying to squash this too. They'll get it...

Dakota's got potty training down so well that we took an hour long walk to the park and no accidents. Nothing like walking 6 blocks home from the park with a kid with wet pants, which happened to me last summer with Jacob. It had been a while since I did the potty training thing...I am getting that too.

In my last entry I was talking about Dayton's blanket. The Christmas Dakota was born Mark was laid off with no unemployment, we were short on money. My mother was a crafty type so when she died I inherited all her yarn. She had taken baby yarn and made a bunch of squares. I wanted to give Tracey a part of her so I took the squares finished the blanket and gave it to Dakota for Christmas. For Jacob I used some of the extra skeins mom had & made a huge blanketfor him. Well, come to find out years later Traceythought the blanket was hers...she and Jacob actually fought over it...so......along with making a big boy blanket for Dakota, I am going to make Jacob another blanket. I am going to teach the girl how to crotchet...then she can make her own! She did cherish the mom blanket which made me happy.

Jacob and Dakota...4/2007

Since I featured both Jacob and Dayton on my last to entries, I'll share Dakota...

Such a charmer...6/2007

Dayton

2007-07-26T15:01:00.000-07:00

Tracey and Jeremy went to see Michael Buble in concert last night. Tracey loves the guy and Jeremy surprised her with tickets, good ones too. Mark's ex took Jacob and Dakota to her trailer, she does this when she thinks I've spent too much time with them...but not baby Dayton, so I went out and sat with him. Liz came with so he got the total Grandma, Aunt La La spoiling treatment. The kid goes to bed early, so I spent the evening looking through Tracey's downloaded pictures. I lifted these...

from May, 2007--Dayton

I made this blanket for him when he was born, he will not sleep without it. It was supposed to be self stripping yarn, but it didn't work for me, it is very soft! Like grandma!

also from May 2007--Dayton--pre haircut

This is from prom when Tracey did Liz's hair. Tracey started beauty school Tuesday.

June/2007--Dayton post haircut

Such a happy baby...

Tomorrow I am going out and picking them up for an overnight...I miss my boys!

mid summer day

2007-07-22T15:07:00.000-07:00

Yesterday my stepson Matt had a 'bag' party. You know that game where you take homemade bean bags and throw them at a box with a hole in it? He invited some friends and family and each participating person paid some money and they picked teams and had an all day tournament. It was fun for me as my dil Brandy is a teacher so some of the guest are teachers too. Also, Mark and I went to school with many of their friends parents. Sometimes I forget that I am old and we talk about things we have in common. Like school, students, their parents and even them! Matthew (my stepson) never invites his mother to these things...I think she's only been to his home 2 times, but Mark and I are always invited. I get along with Brandy's parents. This is a good thing. Oh and the food was awesome.

Today, I have been pretty much wandering...I do that sometimes when I have nothing better to do. I did go get milk (the kids will be here this week, and we must have milk!) and noticed that the back to school stuff is out...seems soon to me....then I took the dog for a walk, it's lovely outside...all the rain has really made for a colorful neighborhood. Oh and I pulled weeds, with the flowers come the weeds. Oh and the never ending laundry....I have clothes line outside.

Liz drove herself back and forth to work last night...nice thing as she starts at 10 pm and ends at 6 am....after I made sure was home at 6:00 I didn't wake up again until I heard the church bells ring...at 9:00!!! Gotta love the summer....

Here's some pics of Jacob, he loves his real 4 wheeler that he has had since he was 3. It is perfectly safe as it only stays in first gear, and it turns off if he falls off. Daddy made the hills...long pants, a helmet and sturdy shoes are a must.

I am looking forward to spending time with these cuties!

Liz & really I am letting her grow up ;)

2007-07-20T17:50:00.000-07:00

Kristin girl friend of my son Tim and Liz

Today Liz and I went to the DMV and she finally got her driver's license. WHEW! She tried to get out of it, said she had pink eye or some such thing when she woke up so she had to wear her glasses instead of contacts and then there was the sun, it was making her eyes hurt. When she took drivers ed in school (which cost $150) her instructor was unable to test her hence the trip to the DMV. I think drivers ed is up to $300 now, had I known she wouldn't be tested I would have throw a fit.

I had promised my husband that I'd move out if we didn't go today...you see I am having issues....Liz is my last kid, I even had to marry a guy with five kids to get my kid fix. This year will be the first year in 20 that I do not have a kid going to school, well junior college, but that does not feel like school. You know school where they do choir programs and you watch sports. I know I know they will have all that at Junior College, but geeeeeez my kid is now an adult....officially!

She passed by the way...she thought she did not...the DMV was a popular spot today. I even sat with a lady I used to work with, two of her sons were trying to get their licenses too. Two...wow think of her car insurance!

Mark and I once had three teenage boys driving all at the same time, their dad helped with insurance, but God that was expensive....and I lived through that and I'll live through this too....

Oh yeah, Tracey is going to cosmetology school and I will have the boys on Tuesdays and Thursdays...I guess going full steam ahead into the grandma phase will be just fine by me! Plus I get to send them home when I am done with them!!!

Thankful for you!

2007-07-18T18:40:00.000-07:00

A while back I was nominated in a fellow j-lander's journal, her name is Kas and she home schools her children. She is my hero, she is all the things I wish I had been when I was having babies, I wish I had been bolder back then. No matter I am a good mom now. I love reading about her family. She is a real sweetheart.

http://journals.aol.com/hestiahomeschool/HomeschoolingJournal/entries/2007/06/22/thinking-blogger-award/5786

Oh horror it was nearly a month ago! I am so sorry! But I do feel honored!

Also, I was nominated by Kathy who has a private journal for the Rockin' girl award!

Thank you Thank you! I totally feel loved in a time of my life where I am going through nothing but CHANGE!

First things first, I have been around J-land for 3 years, I remember my 1st entry, whining about not seeing my grandson Jacob, three years later I am the one who keeps not just Jacob, but his 2 brothers.

Changes, so many over the years in J-land.

Who can forget when AOL came up with the ads and so many bolted from aol journals. Many just went private and were never heard from again, or went to another journal space. I felt hurt, but with change comes new friends. I have friends here that I value and enjoy keeping up with. AND THEY ARE YOU ALL!

You all keep me sane, in all this madness...called my life.

I was going to complain about Liz's party, my drunk brother not attending this after my family spend much money and time planning his daughter's wedding, who also did not attend, her excuse was her father in law who had an accident 3 weeks ago. Truly that was the only blot on what was otherwise a fun day. My parents best friends came, they made me feel that tie to my past. All my boys came, Liz had a few friends, but many were at the matinee for one of the plays held this summer. Liz's boyfriend Mike is on a mission trip in Georgia, but his mom came and she fit right in with the family.

Liz was happy, so mom's happy!

I was very weepy Monday when I went back to work, then I got in my bus and the driver that subbed for me while I was at court is a sweet lovely lady named Maggie, she actually encouraged me to drive all those 5 years ago. She left me a little note that said simply, "I miss your smiling face." I cried. Sometime when you think the world isn't such a happy place you look and you realize it is, you look for the love, and there it is, right there!

The weather has been awful, rain, storms, and humid...but that's ok. I have friends and that's what matters! Thanks for being my friends!

This is an old pic of the boys, but it's adorable

court

2007-07-12T10:50:00.000-07:00

My county is quite small so child support is only handled one day a week in courtroom 1.

I know the Judge. I went to high school with him, he was once my son's baseball coach. I know he would be fair and helpful. I've been to court many times with Mark and his ex. I know you really don't need a lawyer for most things, for sure criminal stuff, but family court if you have half a brain you can do it yourself.

So off I went knowing full well I would most likely not get any child support, but hoping to at least get some help with college. I also thought T would not show up, but he did...I know he is still trying to prove himself, but flying from Oklahoma to Illinois is very easy for him as he works for a major airline. And after Liz's description of him at her meeting I am thinking he's most likely in late stage alcoholism. It's been 12 years since I saw him last...judging from the mess he's left of wives and kids, not jobs I am surprised, I figured he was still doing what he always did. If life doesn't beat him down, booze will, and booze is a leave no survivors type of tyrant.

I was right, he looked like crap, smelled like an ash tray, and was sweating. After listening to the parade of delinquent parents, some in jail, some being threatened jail and one poor lady who was in jail house yellow stood whining about how her boss was there and now he wasn't, and she wanted out! My buddy the Judge was having none of it. He even told one lady get your child support caught up or go across the street (the jail) next time.

Soon we made our appearance and as I figured no child support after high school, but in Illinois pursuant to 750 ILCS 5/513 parents are to contribute to further education of their kids.

The judge sent us out to discuss the matter. Again, Mr Compliant asked me what I wanted. Fortunately for him I am far person, had the college book with me and suggested a number. We both felt Liz should help pay. He then agreed to mailing me the money (cashier check) in a lump sum sometime in the next few weeks. WOW! He's going to sell some stock from the airline.

After Junior College we can go back to court to discuss further education. T also volunteered other grants & scholarships through work when she decided on a University. And he even told me to keep her as a tax deduction. I should I am paying for her insurance. He's insurance is horrible.

Then we went back in front of my friend the Judge and told him our agreement. The Judge and I then made small talk about our children and how they were doing. God I love living in a small town! I felt so much better about my parenting skills! After all my kids played sports with a judge's kid! ;)

So kids, dealing with a beat down--used to be bully-- face to face isn't so hard. After further inspection I have come to realize I can be a control freak, BUT it's because I love my family more than anything. I would fight to the death for anyone I call friend. After court I even went back to work and found my monitor Julie and told her of my experience. Her ex owes her a large amount of back child support and doesn't work or sees their three daughters. I suggested (see I can suggest, not tell) she change courts to here and have the court go after him. Jail seems to beat a person into compliance or at least getting a legal job. Although she should keep her same courthouse, it's Cook County near Chicago, I am sure the clientele there are very different than little old Kendall county!

I am getting better though! I have backed way off on bossing people around and am way more willing to let other learn from their mistakes. As for the old lady mother in law in Missoula, she's probably forgotten what she said to my sil and will be calling soon demanding to know what we are doing!

thank you!

2007-07-11T16:18:00.000-07:00

Thank you all so very much for listening to me...yesterday. I knew my feelings were hurt in my head. I knew I should should just let this go, but your input helped. You filled in very well for my mom!

My kid also put some things in perceptive regarding her stepbrothers, she said that they should understand that their dad changed because it was time for him to change, and it took being away from their mother to do it. She also said that if I wasn't controlling we probably wouldn't have our house or any of the bills paid! Nice...this kid is wise beyond her years.

Now I am sitting in my home all alone...and I LOVE IT! My husband has been off work since Monday, we had major storms, but he is going back tomorrow. YAY! He is golfing right now with his son who lives here. Jim loves to golf and gave Mark his old golf clubs, bought him golf shoes for his birthday and now he has a partner. Good exercise too.

Tomorrow I have a court date to see if the state of Illinois allows the custodial parent to receive child support for their children in college, or at least orders the other parent to pay 1/2 of college. My boys dad paid half, but he is responsible. I am not afraid of court, I went many times with Mark and his ex...I even helped him try & get custody of his youngest, this without a lawyer!

Liz's graduation party is Saturday. We are having it at Jeremy and Tracey's house. I still have to buy a few things for the picnic. She wants things simple, which makes me happy. Liz is working at Target now, overnights, from 10 pm until 6 am. She has been working 3 days only and they are in a row so she can adjust her sleep. She's a night owl anyway. She will have to change this schedule in the fall, but Target wants her on days anyway. Guess they think she friendly.

I think she's pretty special!

2007-07-10T18:42:00.000-07:00

God is the only one

who can make

the valley of trouble

a door of hope.

-Catherine Marshall

Like most people I have my quirks, my issues, my character flaws and my past. Most people who know me think I am a nice enough person. They invite me to lunch, they confide in me, hell they even trust me with their kids!

So ... why is that all within one week I have been brought to task for being "controlling" or not being fair by four different people??! Two I can understand they are my stepchildren. Their dad changed so much when he married me, that I can see how they think I did some sort of voodoo on him and wham he changed...something he did not do when he was married to their mom. Knowing my husband I have no clue as to why he was with her in the first place. But I really can't say as my first marriage was with someone I had little in common except which bar to drink at. And no, he does not think I am controlling either, we get along just fine some 22 years after we divorced. The next one is Liz's dad...he thinks I kept her unfairly from him. He has a jaded drug/alcoholic view of the past, I was controlling as I was protecting my kid, I'd be an awful mother if I just handed her over to him.

The last one was last night, my mother in law who is actually my husband's stepmother called my sil and proceeded to tell her she hated me, and that I am terrible because I wrote Liz's thank you card out, my bad I admit, Liz has bad handwriting, and against my better judgment I even sent her a graduation announcement in the first place as she is very very opinioned and a bit senile. She also bad mouthed Mark's dead mother, so I shouldn't feel so bad. My poor sil was bawling her eyes out, because according to the crazy lady all the kids are terrible and never have done anything right. Their dad has been dead since 1998...bet he's rolling in his grave.

Soooooooo, all this made me want my own Mother who would have listened to me cry, hug me, pat my hand and say..."so...you know this isn't true ... so don't let it bug you"

Maybe I should have my mother in law call T, after all they both love to pick on dead people...he's blamed all his problems on his dead 4th wife!

Thanks for listening I can hear you all say....

"there, there Rose it's all good!"

birthday boys

2007-07-08T11:27:00.000-07:00

"oh grandma...these are clothes!"

Jacob turned 4 and last Sunday the kids had both he and Dayton's birthday party.

Future rock stars in the making! Dakota, who is 2 1/2 calls guitars his Le le...but Sunday you couldn't get him off the drums!

Grandma Rose was cool enough to at least give Jacob a future rocker tee shirt ... with a skull picture on it.

Fortunately for Tracey they have a shed in the yard for the band! The drums were from the other two grandmas. Tracey's mom & I gave 'boring' gifts...like savings bonds and clothes!

The party was fun, not too hot outside, all the kids except my son Eric, who was working, were there. The biker friends showed up, but I think they were too hung over from the night before (another 'kid' party) to do burnouts in the street. Nice thing is they all throw money in an envelope to give to the kiddos.

This birthday boy had too much fun for one day!

Mark's been off since Tuesday, he got some painting done, but it's been hot. We went to the kid's house Friday and swam. Yesterday was Mark's birthday, his kids took him golfing and he wanted to stay home last night to watch the race.

Today, pretty much lazy as it's still hot. Thinking we should head to the pool!

Happy 4th

2007-07-04T18:18:00.000-07:00

Happy 4th everybody!

Liz did meet with her father Monday night. T did not say hardly anything. His wife did all the talking. Mostly light stuff. They did get lost (again...if he had been visiting his kid he'd know where she lived, plus I used to live across the river when he did visit when she was little, which is not far from where they had dinner). He did pay the bill though. Least he could do.

Liz's friend Emily came with & her boyfriend Mike. The biggest thing T was happy about was that Liz graduated high school, his other kids had not. GOD! High school!!! My oldest graduated from a big ten school. Liz's aim is to go Columbia in Chicago after a few years at the local Junior College. We aim high in this family.

So...hopefully he will still feel guilt ridden and show up next week in court. Makes my life a whole lot easier.

On a lighter note the kid's birthday party was fun. Two of my own kids came with boy/girlfriends. Eric had to work. Tim's girlfriend the teacher fits right in. All my stepsons came including the youngest Dale who is the one who is still mad at my husband, because his mom and dad got divorced when he was 6...he's 20 now. Years of therapy couldn't help this kid and his resentment.

But we all did speak and hug. Promises of future meetings were made. I think he's just partying too much and doesn't want our disapproval. He's young, he'll learn.

I'll show pics later.

Liz has to work overnights for 3 days including tonight so no fireworks for her, that's ok boyfriend is on vacation. No fun without boyfriend.

Mark is off until Monday....stinks because it's with no pay, but we'll be ok, work has been slow but steady, with no rain days so it all balances out.

He has 2 gallons of trim paint and we/he is working on painting the house.

Be safe! And enjoy!

where'd the time go??!!

2007-06-29T21:13:00.000-07:00

Even though I am not working full time I have been very busy! Liz has had two plays she's performing in and I just realized the pictures from one are on my other video card, I'll share later.

Her "absent technically he's her father", father who I will call T sent her money for graduation, quite a lot too. She has not seen the man since she was 6 and he has had all sorts of excuses as why he lost contact. He started writing again the first day of school her freshman year of high school. Out of respect for my husband who has been her dad for 12 years and my own sanity I asked her to not do anything with the relationship until she got out of high school. I remember telling her she could take T to Jerry Springer and figure it out.

I, also told her to let him prove himself, see if he admits to any of his failings.

So with the check came a 5 page letter that could've been written 18 years ago. He blamed me, he blamed his dead ex wife for burning all his stuff including our phone number (don't you think if you were calling your kid you'd know the number by heart??), how everything was basically my fault.

He only figured out my number when he moved to Oklahoma and got the Internet, guess they didn't have Internet before 2000 down south!

The proving never came. He never changed, in years since 1995 he has been married 3 times and had another child.

Can you tell I am pissed, I know how I was when I was with the man. I was no prize, I was a huge pile of problems, I drank too much, I was needy and didn't care who I brought down with me. I did straighten up, I admitted my wrongs and have changed. I claim my part, while the whole relationship with T was wrong (he dated for sport and has been married at least 6 times, me not being one of them either). But I've been blessed with a lovely, wonderful, smart daughter. She is my shining star.

I cannot stomach people who do not see themselves. But as I told my kid he is what he is,no more or less.

Comes to my satisfaction. T did not know that I had set up a court date for child support while Liz is in College. My old order was from 1989 and for very little, I never wanted T to make me send my child to him, as he couldn't be bothered to visit when he lived an hour away .I left things alone. Mark always wanted to adopt Liz, but the fear of the unknown freaked me out. Mark is her father by all rights.

T will be in town this weekend. Liz has plans along with her boyfriend to met him for lunch. So far he has only received one letter from her which basically told him to grow up. Ah such wisdom from a teenager. Wonder if he'll show? I have to keep my hubby and my stepson from going though, they say he has an "ass whipping" coming.

Oh yeah I made sure I had her deposit the check before he got his court papers.

On a lighter note, my niece got married last weekend. It was beautiful.

These are my brothers and I...I am the oldest, Dan the middle, Ken the next down from me and Chris the baby. We were all born with in five years. When my brother danced with my niece I cried, wishing my mother could have been there.

The baby is Rylan, he's getting big.

It's baby birthday weekend. Jacob turned 4 today and Dayton will be a year in a couple of weeks. Liz and I watched the little boys while Tracey had a birthday day with Jacob. He was so excited to not take his brothers along. They went bowling and to Red Robin, which makes a big deal about parties. Their party is Sunday.

My kid & my Dayton. The kid is walking all over the place. More later.

Parade pics

2007-06-20T06:27:00.000-07:00

If you look really hard you can see that this gentleman riding the old fire truck is none other than former speaker of the house, Denny Hastert. He is from my town and every year walks the parade. Although this year it's without all the security he had in years past. We always joke that the village had to trim all our trees so his GOP elephant could fit through our street! Denny looks like he's lost some weight too!

Monday my son Eric brought me a brand new air conditioner. Of course the weather has cooled off to a lovely 70's, but it's still only mid June. Midwest summers can be hot so I am grateful I have a kid who works at a Menard's plus gets a discount. I refused to let him pay for all of it, but I got a great deal for a brand name.

Eric did not get the job at the new store. Seems the store manager has his own people in mind. Most likely for the best, at least that is what I told Eric.

I am still enjoying my part time status at work. Yesterday I dry ran my route and talked to my student. I already know him so we should have no problems at all. Traffic is always heavy, but no big thing. The route starts the 25th.

Today I am taking the day care group to the local pool. There are 5 buses going, most likely we will sit in a restaurant, bus drivers love to do that. I'd rather sit in the sun, but we shall see how it goes.

One more from Sunday...

Every time Dakota got candy, he'd yell, "Me got candy everybody!"

stuff

2007-06-19T15:21:00.000-07:00

I tried to do an entry yesterday, but for some reason my camera wouldn't download or is upload (?) my pictures. So I gave up. Today it worked so here I am.

I now have a new route for the summer, we are able to bid on new routes that may come up ... my new one starts next Monday, goes into August (after our raise 7/1) and goes 4 days longer than the other one I gave up. Plus I don't have to drive in Toll way/construction/crazy people going to work at 7 am traffic in a full-size bus. I would have done it, but this new route is much easier. Plus I still get Friday's off.

This past weekend was great...

Tracey did cut Dayton's hair. He looks like a different kid! These pictures are from Prairiefest. The kids road rides and had pizza. The day was very hot, ( see how red Dayton's cheeks are) so we went in the evening.

The boys look very serious in the picture below (they are the ones with the dark blue shirt and blue camo), that's grandpa's hand giving high fives.

They missed their naps and the heat draining, they did perk up on the merry go round. They weren't even crabby either...All Dakota talked about was seeing the Monkey's who were next to the Moo moo's.

Here's the after pics...

More tomorrow...

let the summer begin

2007-06-10T16:00:00.000-07:00

]

Son, Eric

Ah summer, a chance to let your feet breath, dig in the dirt and sweat. I did all those today and more. With an early summer my gardens have grown in with abundance. It is past time to split the daylilies and my hostas needed to split as well. I love gardening, to me it's like a good therapist, except I get to do all the talking. My monitor Julie tells me that people garden because they feel they have no control in their lives, maybe true. As my husband has become very bossy lately...especially concerning my gardens. Bad move. I can become very deaf at will.

I did let him plant the beans, finally...he is a better tiller than I. My tomatoes are coming up nicely. Another driver at work gave me 6 plants and we grew some in the greenhouse. We have a nice variety of early and late bloomers.

My oldest Tim

My children took me to a really cool restaurant last night. It is Italian and family style, you even get to go through the kitchen to get to your table. Old time photographs hung on the walls. Being from a large, loud family I loved the atmosphere. I had scallops, love, love them. My kids are pasta fans so they were happy too. My boys are really growing up, and changing. Tim has the new girlfriend and is going to move out of the house he was sharing with his friends from high school and college. He is moving in with his dad to save money for a home of his own. Eric at 22 is going to move to the store nearby, he is currently at a Menards in a college town, he also lives with old friends from high school. He feels like he needs to build a future too. Wow, I guess I did well by my children. We are all hard workers, Mark and I have had many struggles in our marriage, raising so many kids, his job being so unpredictable, but we are making it. Our marriage is strong, our Faith too, and we always stand by our children...always. No matter what we want to be there for them, but it's so encouraging to watch your kids make decisions that are so grown up, without having to have us push them. Sometimes the best thing to do is just get out of the way and trust them.

Makes a mother proud!

The grandkids

2007-06-09T11:14:00.000-07:00

Last evening we watched the kids while Jeremy & Tracey went to a movie. The kids finally will let me or Mark take their pictures. Usually they run and hide. Tracey shaved the boys heads, but little Dayton won't be getting a haircut until his first birthday. He has black curly hair that hangs over his eyes. Tracey even clips it back when his daddy isn't around! His birthday isn't until the end of July, with our heat he may be getting it cut sooner than that!

After Dayton went to bed we spent the evening watching The Crocodile Hunter. Man can little ones ask a lot of questions. Dakota wanted to hug the snake and Jacob wanted to make sure a croc couldn't come in his back yard!

The kids will be over next weekend for the yearly town feast. In years past they have only come to the parade and by then the carnival was over. Another chance for the grandparents to see the world through their little eyes.

schools out/ grad pics/turning 50

2007-06-07T17:25:00.000-07:00

My husband never smiles....

School's out! I was able to get a summer route. It's only a four hour morning one way trip to a school north of here. The child only goes Monday through Thursday, so I get a 3 day weekend! My day is over at 10 am. My route ends July 20th. The local day care keeps us in trips which I can bid on, so I will have the best of both worlds, part time work and summer freedom!

Graduation was very nice. There was a threat of rain so it was held indoors. Liz's class had split a few years ago and part of it graduated from the new high school. There were only 350 in her class compared to last years 750. She received a monetary scholarship for drama and was very happy. Me too! She was let go at her job though. She was hired as a temp to open the store, but only wanted to work during the day so she could be involved in the community plays. Her supervisor made her come in to work on graduation evening then took her off the schedule. Oh the joy of retail. I suggested she broaden her scope for jobs. Although her brother is interviewing for a department manager's position at the new Menards. She could go there, but again retail.

She does have the great big world in front of her. She is going to junior college next fall, the world really is a clean slate for her. She'll figure it out I trust her judgement. She's a lot like me, whatever we really want we go get it.

My silly son Tim had to be in this pic.

My son Tim, Liz and Tim's girlfriend, Kristen. She is a teacher and a sweetheart.

My son Eric couldn't come to graduation because of work he felt bad, too. Because the gym is so small the grads were only allowed 4 tickets for graduation. The other option was for 3 more family members to sit in another room and watch graduation on TV. Since Eric didn't come we invited Kristen. She's wonderful.

Wednesday I officially became AARP material....I turned 50. Funny I feel the same as I did when I was 40....maybe even as a good as 30. Nah I was nuts at 30...40...a little better, but 50? I like 50, it feels like a fit.

Tomorrow I get to see my grand babies, it's been too long. Jeremy and Tracey are going to see the movie "Knocked up". Hope that doesn't happen for real to them...3 kids are fine for now!

mia but I know where I am

2007-05-26T14:54:00.000-07:00

I am so very far behind!! It's raining on this long holiday weekend, racing is on (keeping hubby happy) so I have plenty of time to catch up with my j-land pals!

Whenever I get behind on journals I usually start from today's alert, then go to the link to the person's journal then I go to the last entry I remember (??!!) reading and then read each day to the newest entry. Does that make sense? Or if I am in a really pinch for time I read all the entries I am behind & comment on the last one.

I do weird stuff when I read a newspaper too. I read the whole front page (unless it's the Chicago Sun times they are like a book) and then go to the continued page, which means I read about five different stories and then continue reading them on another page.

This has been a very hot and dry week. Very unseasonable for the Midwest. Causing my dear hubby to be crabby each evening. He has been working, but he's been in the water truck which is an old clunky relic that he must fill the tank with water and water the dirt that the heavy machines work. It's been so dry that the water has been evaporating before he lays it down. We have had high winds 40 mph or better, which blow the dust and dirt in large brown clouds.

Today's rain will correct that problem. With it the cool, normal spring days. Hubby also got a part for his motorcycle today so it is now running. A must for any person with the price of gas. Illinois is now the highest above California, at an average of $3.50 per gallon. Such insanity.

We had the boys last weekend, we took them to a small zoo/park and had a blast. While we had them my stepson and dil were able to talk out some of their 'issues' they were having. Marriage is hard work. There were times, probably the first five years of my own marriage that I could have killed Mark, especially with all the kids & our ex's. But talking is the key. Even if it's loud and some may consider it yelling, soon things iron out. If there is a basic respect and love anything can be worked out.

School will be out on June 7th, Liz graduates on the 2nd.

Routes for the summer are being bid on June 4th. There seems to be enough work that I will be able to work this summer, which will keep me out of trouble...

I will still have plenty of time to enjoy the kids, but work. My job is great that way.

Enjoy your weekend...I am off to see what you all are up to!