court

My county is quite small so child support is only handled one day a week in courtroom 1.

I know the Judge.  I went to high school with him, he was once my son's baseball coach.  I know he would be fair and helpful.  I've been to court many times with Mark and his ex.  I know you  really don't need a lawyer for most things, for sure criminal stuff, but family court if you have half a brain you can do it yourself. 

So off I went knowing full well I would most likely not get any child support, but hoping to at least get some help with college.  I also thought T would not show up, but he did...I know he is still trying to prove himself, but flying from Oklahoma to Illinois is very easy for him as he works for a major airline.  And after Liz's description of him at her meeting I am thinking he's most likely in late stage alcoholism.  It's been 12 years since I saw him last...judging from the mess he's left of wives and kids, not jobs I am surprised, I figured he was still doing what he always did.   If life doesn't beat him down, booze will, and booze is a leave no survivors type of tyrant.

I was right, he looked like crap, smelled like an ash tray, and was sweating.  After listening to the parade of delinquent parents, some in jail, some being threatened jail and one poor lady who was in jail house yellow stood whining about how her boss was there and now he wasn't, and she wanted out!  My buddy the  Judge was having none of it.  He even told one lady get your child support caught up or go across the street (the jail) next time.

Soon we made our appearance and as I figured no child support after high school, but in Illinois pursuant to 750 ILCS 5/513 parents are to contribute to further education of their kids. 

The judge sent us out to discuss the matter.  Again, Mr Compliant asked me what I wanted.  Fortunately for him I am far person, had the college book with me and suggested a number.  We both felt Liz should help pay.  He then agreed to mailing me the money (cashier check) in a lump sum sometime in the next few weeks.  WOW!   He's going to sell some stock from the airline. 

After Junior College we can go back to court to discuss further education.  T also volunteered other grants & scholarships through work when she decided on a University.  And he even told me to keep her as a tax deduction. I should I am paying for her insurance.   He's insurance is horrible.

Then we went back in front of my friend the Judge and told him our agreement.  The Judge and I then made small talk about our children and how they were doing.  God I love living in a small town!   I felt so much better about my parenting skills!  After all my kids played sports with a judge's kid!  ;)

So kids, dealing with a beat down--used to be bully-- face to face isn't so hard.  After further inspection I have come to realize I can be a control freak, BUT it's because I love my family more than anything.  I would fight to the death for anyone I call friend.  After court I even went back to work and found my monitor Julie and told her of my experience.  Her ex owes her a large amount of back child support and doesn't work or sees their three daughters.  I suggested (see I can suggest, not tell) she change courts to here and have the court go after him.  Jail seems to beat a person into compliance or at least getting a legal job.  Although she should keep her same courthouse, it's Cook County near Chicago, I am sure the clientele there are very different than little old Kendall county!

I am getting better though!  I have backed way off on bossing people around and am way more willing to let other learn from their mistakes.  As for the old lady mother in law in Missoula, she's probably forgotten what she said to my sil and will be calling soon demanding to know what we are doing!