Tuesday, August 31, 2004

Butterflies and flowers - Click image to download.Now where oh where did this summer go?  I know!  Just like every other summer, it was spent with the kids, camping, town fests, eating ice cream every weekend, riding the motorcycle.  This has been a very nice quiet summer for us.  Looking back I feel like I could done more, but what I really wanted was just to finally relax!  And gain some perceptive on my life.  Life can be very difficult for a worrier like me.  I have spent most of my life worrying or hiding out in "la la" land from what I call the "boggie man".  You know the guy?  The guy that steals your dreams, makes you bankrupt, steals your faith...your peace of mind.  He spent time in my head last night...caused me to be very angry for a about an hour.  But thankfully he left, and I am doing better today.  Things always work out for the best, always, I have the faith today that my God will always take care of my problems in my life today, and forever.  God's got a very good track record in my life, and thankfully today for my own peace of mind He is right here reminding me that things truly will be alright, because right now everything in my world is just as it should be...not perfect, but I made a promise to God a long time ago that I would trust Him to mold me into a deceit human being...and today I am.

Monday, August 30, 2004

My little town...and change

This striking building here is our new high school.  And is it huge!  It has state of the art features such as a swimming pool, indoor track, indoor and outdoor auditorum, etc, etc, etc...this is the price of rapid growth.  When my children were in grade school there were 3 grade schools, 2 middle schools and 1 high school.  Now just a few short years later we are 13 grade schools, 3 middle schools and now 2 high schools strong.  Coming next year 3 new grade schools and another middle school.  What was once a small farm town is now a big town.  The new high school is beautiful, but unfortunately my kids won't be going there, we are in town so they will stay at the old school.  Mixed blessing at least I don't have to listen to my broken hearted daughter crying over going to the NEW school, and leaving her friends...you know teenagers and their angst....

So the meeting today was pleasantly painless and the rest of the day I spent shoe shopping with Liz, with only one crisis...the shoes she wanted weren't in her size so she settled for a cheaper pair, but I threw in a sale pair so now it's all happiness in teen angst land.  Ah one more day home and it's off to school...it's about time!  I miss my kids actually learning and doing something other than sleeping til noon and doing a whole lot of nothing!!! 


Sunday, August 29, 2004

Monarch FlapThis area of the country was not supposed to get Monarch Butterflies this year,something to do with our weird weather...BUT they were wrong and we got 'em!!! They are out and about.  I am a lover of plants especially periennels because they come back bigger and better every year.  I also love to plant zienna's they attract all sorts of flying creatures...especially butterflies.

Today was a good day.  We did the whole big breakfast thing at the club, I got to make biscuits all morning.  It was very busy, the clear weather must of brought everybody out of their little homes. 

My daughter told me last night that her best friend with 2 other friends got caught shoplifting yesterday, they stole sunglasses from Penneys.  I asked her why on earth would they do that????  Her best friend is practically like a daughter to me. She said because 2 of them always do it, and then I asked why didn't they ask her to go with them...and she said because they know she wouldn't approve...Wow!  I always have always told my kids that it is  Bad Bad karma to steal.  Even before I was a practicing Buddist which I was for a while, but I had a problem with them not really believing much in my idea of God, so I decided my beliefs are more inline with Christainity.  Anyway the point is this is what my smarty pants kid wrote on her away message on her AIM:

"Sitting around the house, Wondering where all your friends are: $0 DollersGoing to get Ice cream with your mom: $2.56 dollersGetting a call and finding out your three best friends got arrested: Priceless.Somethings money can't buy for everything less theres Shopplifting. "

Hee can you tell where the kid gets her sick sense of humor from???!!!! ;0)

Otherwise we spend the day on the motorcycle logging in over 100 miles of blissful countryside.  And it was a glorious day!  And the icing on the cake??  Hubby works tomorrow!!!


Weekend went toooo fast...tomorrow is a boring  brain washing done every year to the employees of my wonderful school district.  It is a staff "pep" assembly...the theme this year?

chchchchanges...to the tune of the Classic Bowie song.

Ick...thankfully it's only 1 1/2 hours long, and the seats are comfy...take care all!  Love Rose

Saturday, August 28, 2004

get the arc noah i think it's gonna flood

Rain, rain and more rain...you know that kind of weather where everything just feels wet???  That's how everything feels, at least it's not hot anymore, just glooming and wet.  Oh well, weather always passes...hopefully the rain will end so hubby can go BACK to work!!!  I am back at the place where I am KISS, (keeping it simple stupid),  Doing what is in front of me...telling the bills to line up and I will take care of who's next and important.  It was very cool last night in my slumber I made a conscience decision to let this whole semi truck thing GO!  I felt my hand literally open up and raise to the Heavens.  I thought here ya go God take this!  I am tired of losing sleep over this.  It hasn't come back with any more intensity since.  God is so great!  And it is so much easier to let Him deal with my life than to let me do it.  The old me would have been down at the bar, instead we walked down the Dari hut and had a ice cream cone.  who hoooooo

Today is one of those days we will be just "putzing" around the house.  We have to go to the trailer tonight because we always help with the monthly breakfast you know the kind, biscuits and white gravy w/ chunks sausage, sausage, eggs and pancakes.  YUM!  Hopefully the rain stops so can at least sit outside, I am sure the wood will be wet, but oh well, I get to go to my "happy place" for a day and relax. 

Hopefully the sun will come out and dry this mess up.  The weather has been so crazy this year.  But hey that's the midwest for you.

Make it wonderful weekend...Love and big hugs, Rose<3

Friday, August 27, 2004

soooooo pooped

Wow it's been a very weird 24 hours around these parts. 1st off my computer is very mad at me.  It's finally warm and muggy here plus I think my 'puter is a bit dusty, so it keeps turning off!  Going to get some spray for it to give it a good dusting.  I got my heat alright, but I think it's too late for the trees they are turning like it's already October.  Oh well, does that mean winter will be shorter???

Yesterday afternoon we had quite a stir in these parts.  My town of Oswego made the BIG time news.  And it wasn't good, not good at all.  Seems a guy got angry with his wife and killed her and  to car jack a car and decided to hid out right across the street from my childhood home.  We first heard the news of his car jacking when our Dale was right in that very area picking up a friend.  He made it home safely, and as I now know my father and stepmom were out while the big stakeout was happening.  I went to bed thinking the guy was many towns away as the (always reliable) TV had said.  Dale was to take his friend home at midnight and I thought nothing of it when I went to bed.  I woke up at 2:30 am with a HUGE lightning storm.  So I went around closing windows and could not find Dale.  Seems he tried to take his friend home but there was a road block, I think they could have come back right away, but you know boys have to be where the action is.  My father wasn't allowed to go home until 4:00am, and the police used my very bedroom as a kid for a stakeout area.  It is reported the fugitive was shot by his own gun or police gun.  And it is also reported he killed his wife.  Very said, that a couple who had a child and had seemed on the outside to have a perfect life.  Nice home, nice jobs, nice, nice.  Goes to show that things aren't as they seem.  Just thankful my father is safe, as well as Dale. 

As I whined it was quite a hot one today.  We did a Mock school day and I spent most of it trying to get around Large trucks, cement mixers, landscapers, and various vans and SUV's.  I just wish these wonderful folks would please park ALL on the same side of the road...it's very difficult to squeeze a BIG bus between their vehicles.  But I did it.  The guys always look at me like I am some kind of you know, GIRL, and can't drive, but it alway slows me down to have to get through the construction.  But it will work out as always, and they can't be building homes forever can they?????

At least my headache stayed away and I am sure things will be crazy for awhile at the schools, especially since our route lists didn't figure in time to sit at the schools in the pm (usually 10 to 15 minutes) They have us stop at the school for 1 minute to pick the kids and then go to drop them at their homes.  So this should be difficult for some, mine should be fine, because my route is pretty close together.  But of course that is why I took it...for this coming school I crave the simple life....I just want to have my Mark and I be about to go to work, earn a living, pay our bills and relax....our children are growing up and I want to be able to sit back and be a grandma....you know the type?  Cookies.....camping, fun...spoil 'em and send 'em home....:)...ahhhhh  have a great weekend gang!

Thursday, August 26, 2004

WHOOOO the girl finally drove on the road!!

WHOOOOO HOOOO Liz finally drove on the road.  My poor little short child refused to drive the car on the road!  She only would drive in circles in the high school parking lot.  She got her permit in June.  She starts school on 9/1 and drivers  ed should be getting going some time around then.  She finally drove in our neighborhood and did excellent!  I didn't even grab the wheel....whew at least I don't have worry about my baby driving with a stranger...and some snot nose high school kid sitting in the back seat snickering, but knowing her, she will have NO problem.  This kid has opinions and has NO problem expressing herself!!!  God love my baby girl!!!! 

Rain, rain go away...

Man, oh man the skies have opened and it's been rainning just enough to wreck work for my hubby, and make everything have that humid soggy feeling.  Also having hubby home means less time for me on the computer...less time with my beloved J-land :). :::SIGH::: he'll be back to work soon enough.  The truck sales company that we were hoping would buy the semi, offered nearly 1/2 of what we were hoping to get.  Hubby had a lightbulb moment and bought a sign and is going to put the truck in front of his work.  There's a lot of construction traffic.  Keep your figures crossed and I am praying that  it is sold by months end.  God's time, I have learned that God always comes through, ALWAYS, in HIS perfect time.  I finally got rid of headache that I woke up with...it's one of this annoying sinus things that makes you feel like your head is going to burst.  But it's gone now.

Tomorrow is MOCK school day so I will be driving like it's a real day, but with no students.  My high school route has 80 kids on it which is impossible because buses only hold 71, but a lot of kids drive to school anyway.  Last night I did 'preview day' at the grade school.  Simply put I parked my bus behind the grade school and the little kindergarteners got to tour the bus.  This one kid who was only 4 would not stop coming back on board.  He was so cute.  He asked hundreds of questions.  This other little guy also 4 with huge glasses decided he wanted drive a bus when he grows up.  After I showed how the stop sign comes out with all the blinking red lights the deal was sealed...he was definitely going to grow up to be a bus driver.  So cute. 

Well, time to walk down to the library to return some stuff, and then it's dinner time and an early evening, must sharp as a tack tomorrow.  Love you guys...Rose

Tuesday, August 24, 2004

bidding on my bus route

This is how the poor new people looked today at work.  Their heads were spinning!!!  We got to bid on our routes  today, since I am near the bottom of the list,  I had to wait 3 hours.  Of course we all had to stand outside and they called us in 3 at a time.  And of course it rained, but they served food, OF COURSE there is one thing that I have learned about bus drivers, they like to eat!  I am a small person, I am about 5, 3 and about 120 pounds, I love to walk fast and I always get called "hyper", but around this crowd, a snail would be called hyper, but they are all nice and friendly.  A very down to earth group, I guess it's true what they saw about the being Jolly thing.   I finally got in to pick my route and while I didn't get my old grade school route, or my old bus, I got good old 30.  Bus 30 is one of the first buses I ever drove by myself.  I subbed for a girl who broke her arm and had to take off.  She did not discipline her kids, because her junior high kids where the WORST!! These kids were the devil's spawn.  They could make a seasoned bus driver cry.  In my month with these little darlings, I had one girl huff hair spray and faint, kids have a snowball fight on the bus, kids throwing pornography out the window, kids walking on top of the seats, and there I am sure was more, but my memory has that safey switch that protects me from going crazy at the thought of that nightmare.  But at least I got thrown in the deep end right away, so from there I could only go up. So back to bus 30, it was also a trusty bus, but I remembered after I picked it that the heat was horrible, but at least my short stubby legs will reach the pedals. 

My new route looks awesome, it's all the schools I wanted, and with 2 high schools, 3 junior highs, and 11 grade schools, I might not have gotten my schools, besides these schools are all the ones my own kids went to so they are near and dear to my heart.  Also, I get to do the dention bus so I should get extra hours, which will keep hubby happy.  He wanted me to try for a midday route.  I said ok, BUT then you get to help with the cooking, cleaning, and shopping.  He said ok just sub then.  ;) Ok enough bus driver talk.

I have been  on a cleaning binge and I am still throwing away paper, a shredder has been suggested and I may get one of those.  At least we have recycling here.  Next binge I want to be on is a painting one.  I dislike painting because I hate the mess, but I have some rooms that need it.  Oh well, I am not going anywhere anytime soon, so I can take care of that some time in the future.

Hope you all are having an awesome week!  Rose

Monday, August 23, 2004

Ah back to a routine!

Today is Orientation and I am up and adam...(is that the saying?).  Yesterday I couldn't get on the computer because I slept in and hubby was wanting my attention.  Plus Liz was on ALL day.  After doing some stuff around the house we headed out on the motorcycle as it is FINALLY August around here in Illinois. 80 degrees of sunny perfection.  I mentioned we should go see  his oldest brother Mike and his wife Patty as we haven't seen him probably in over year.  Mike is sort-of set in his ways and can be quite self centered and annoying.  Mike lives in the family house that Mark grow up in so it's always cool to go over there and see where Mark grew up.  Mark has always had a problem in that he feels he has always been the one who has to go and see his brothers and sister.  Their mother died in 1973 so all 4 of the kids sort of scattered in the winds.  But if we don't go see this guys, and my brothers are the same way we will never see them.  And you know what?  Family is family...even if they are weird they still are family right???  God love em!  I glad we went it was a nice visit.  Anyway, gotta go to work...be back later and hopefully I will get back on to hang out with you guys...after all you all have become like family to me :)  Hugs  Rose

Saturday, August 21, 2004

I am so excited!!!

*HUGS* TOTAL! give Rgossett4195 more *HUGS*
Get hugs of your own

...Ah I just found the message board for journals. Sorry guys I am a tiny bit slow when it comes to these things, I am always behind when it comes to trends....I often saw references to the message board but could never find it....This where I found this cool hug counter.  Hope everybody had a good time at the BALL! It was a lot of fun. Good night all...


Large ViewEven as a child I always had to have something to look forward to, whether it was my birthday, christmas...the weekend...I have always had to play games with my mind.  I hated school as a kid, which is really weird because when we moved to this town from a nearby one and I entered High School, I LOVED SCHOOL.  I guess I was just a weird kid.  Then I went on to Junior College and wanted to be a teacher.  Weird how the mind works.

I can feel the winds of change in the air...Tim's back to Purdue and I can tell he has got his "I'm back at college attitude" working by his away messages on AIM.  It's like when he's home he's all responsible going to work, only going out every once in awhile on the weekend.  Exercising, eating right....and then it's August and he's back to the frat house and all heck brinks loose...he's all into the college life again.  Thankfully, it's his last year and he will come back home and get a good job...and be NORMAL again.  That's the plan anyway.  Eric did something to his eye at work Thursday so work sent him to the clinic, I guess he's off work for at least today.  I really don't worry, because he is close enough for me to "guide" him.  He has classes starting Tuesday and is working too, that was deal we all made when he didn't pass his classes at the  "big" college.  His dad is being sort of a jerk about the whole thing.  He won't pay for classes until after he passes them.  He's mad because Eric bought a car.  My ex has always had a problem with Eric because he has a mind of his own.  My ex is the type that is concerned about what people think of him...that's why when we divorced nobody could believe it. We had them fooled huh?  After years of being that same way I finally decided that it's much easier to be who I am, and if the world doesn't like it than don't hang around me.  My belief is that we all have a path that we are on, and a journey that is ours...we pick the people around us to help, but it's still our journey.  My son needs to experience life for himself, to learn, I nor, his father, or Mark or is stepmother can do it for him.  It's hisexperience, we can be here to help him.  But it's HIS life. 

The weather is changing too, in this area we seem to be ahead of schedule about 3 weeks.  The trees are changing already, and my hostas are turning brown.  It's cool at night but the sun is still nice and warm in the daytime.  And school is in the air!  And in this household it is time to go back to school.  My daughter is bored and she need to get back to the books.

Get to work a few days next week: Monday is orientation, (BORING), but at least they will feed us, Tuesday and Wednesday picking our routes, and then dry runs and then a mock school day on Friday.  I think everything will pretty normal this coming year, I looked at the routes and they look pretty much like last years.  Although this is the first year I get to start out the school year with a group of kids.  Last year I didn't start driving until November.  I subbed until January and bid on my route. My poor group were "orphans" that had subs all the time, then they got me, and we all got along great.  

Change is always exciting to me now, I don't resist it anymore.  Over the years I have expanded my world past my little town, my little block, my little house...there's an awesome world out there to be explored and seen.  Having trust in a loving God has really put my life in prospective, and most days I can remember that I am pretty darn lucky to be me.  Have a great day guys...love Rose

Friday, August 20, 2004

Hubby's home

Hubby was home yesterday and today.  They didn't have work for him, but I saved my freaking out for early this morning at about 3 am.  Ah there is nothing like having your head spin at that hour.  But I am so used to being such a weird sleeper since childhood that I know just the right set of words to repeat over and over to put me back to sleep.  The words vary depending on the situation...I have been so good about not doubting God too.  But it's all good and so am I.  Because I'm not in charge God is ... He's got great plans for me and my family...and who am I to doubt HIM?

Yesterday I LET Mark go with to register Dale for school, the line was long and the school's computer software wasn't working right, so it was very lengthy.  I figured if I had to be there so could he.  You know share the joy!  The we went for a motorcycle ride went and saw my brother and his family.  He was surprised to see us.  We need to do that more.  He's the one who's first wife died, he's married to a nice girl who has 2 children.  He seems happy.

I feel like I've been under a rock for the last 2 years only coming out here and there when absolutely necessary.  But you know what folks?  Life is way too short to whine, and moan about your problems, trust me on this one, when things are bad...this too will pass.

Then this morning I went back to work to move all the buses back to their spots, they changed the lot and now we have spots by number order.  Except they are all numbered wrong and we had to move the buses all around.  Luckily nobody crashed into anyone else.  That has been know to happy.  I got to drive my old friend BUS number 34.  I love that old bus.  She has a new seat bottom and they even fixed my window that used to be glued shut.  She's like an old friend.  We get to pick our buses this year and since this old bus is just that old, I should be able to get my old friend back.  There's nothing a trusted friend when Mother Nature decides to let you have it with snow, wind and ice.  Actually school buses are alot easier to drive in the snow then cars, because they are so heavy, which was a very pleasant surprise for me.

Sorry I sound so weird but I do tend to get attached!  Just as I am getting so attached to all you awesome folks in J-land!!!

Have an awesome weekend!  Rose.............

Wednesday, August 18, 2004

And they're off.....................

And she's off....I mean I am....whew!  This must be the busy time of year for everybody!  Mr * called me to see if I could bring Dale in early for his senior pictures, and I said sure.  Well seems little Dale (He's not little we just call him that, he's 6 foot) didn't have anything to wear, he's hard on his clothes so we made a mad dash to the store and since it's back to school time we found some pretty cool stuff for pretty cheap.  Wow now this feels like "normal" to me.  Dashing around trying to get everything done.  "Oh "normal" how much I did not miss you!!!"  After this very laid back summer I have come to appreciate the nice easy pace.  Need to try and relay this to my stepson.  Oh well, he's a Senior now and I am really glad he's here with us, he decided last year to move in with us in November.  He wouldn't have had this opportunity to get a portrait done, it's not something that is important to his mother.  I love looking around my living room and seeing all my "babies" in their crisp shirts and ties smiling back at me.  They all look so handsome.  I always look back and wonder how I made it through that time.  So many kids doing so many activities.  Wow I really miss those days!!!  Oh well there's always Grandkids.  I want to be just like my mother was.  She'd bring her lawnchair and her little cooler filled with all sorts of goodies that only grandma can buy.  She set herself up and cheer her little ones on.  Yep I am going to be just like her! 

Time to get some stuff done, I am on a paper throwing away marathon and I need to finish up...

Love to all my friends out there.  Rose 

Tuesday, August 17, 2004

A better day

Ok folks I am feeling better....yesterday was one of those days...I know why I was sad, The Big boy went back to College and I am always sad when He goes.  I just get used to having him around and then it's time to go back to school.  At least he is finally a pleasure to be around.  Those years between say 16 and 20 are rough for us parents with boys at least...my daughter well it started when she started  puberty.  I have come to believe that through my experience as a mom that boys begin the rebellion at about puberty too, but since they mature later you at least have a few years of their adoration before they go nuts...I figure they have to show their growing muscles and try and brake away or they would never leave us.  That brings me to boy/men in general....what is it that the biggest guy can be the biggest whimp when it comes to pain.  I mean I spent ALL day yesterday listening to my husband complain about being sick...you would have thought he was dying.  And at his age 49 you never can be sure what is real and what is just his imagination.  I think he's better today, but who knows the day is still young.

Ode to Tom Tomato;

Dear Mr Tomato, oh please oh please why won't you turn red...

I stand here and stare at you until I am sick in the head...

Day after day

Week after week

All you do is tease me

Ok Ok I never said I was a poet, but gang this goofy weather here is making my beautiful, big round tomatoes sit in my garden and tease me...finally one is beginning to turn red...I as so ready to eat that big guy...but I know, I know as soon as he turns red all that rest of those big brats will join in and then I will be eating Tomatoes for breakfast, lunch and dinner....I don't care....I LOVE EM!!

Tomato ShowcaseSorry Barb...I keep talking about tomatoes

I'll eat plenty for you :)  Here's to a beautiful day!

Monday, August 16, 2004

**it's a Monday

I need to talk about death today...thought about it all last night.  I got a call from Mr *.  He is the teacher that takes portraits as a side job and has taken pictures of all they boys.  I had been trying to get ahold of him off and on all summer, I had figured something bad had happened and it did.  I am not going to go into great detail, but Mr *'s brother-in-law has a mental illness and he hurt himself and didn't survive.  This guy was a fine upstanding citizen, but like some of us he had a problem.  And the problem won.  I sat on the phone yesterday for 15 minutes listening to this poor man tell me all about his loose, and to top it off his elderly father's health is failing and he is having to deal with that too.  Thank God school is out.  Mr * understands this death, but he is afraid others won't.   Mental illness has always been a mystery to me.  I can understand drunks, I can understand drug addicts...take the booze and drugs away and granted you gotta deal with a head case but at least you have a start.  Mentally ill people usually have chemical problems kept in check by medication.  The ones I have known like to go off and on their meds, and also abuse other chemicals.    There is such a stigma on the mentally ill.  Now to the subject of death.  I have had my share of death.  Beginning with my Aunt's suicide, my first high school crush, who hung himself, the murder of a girl during homecoming float building activities.  This was enough to freak a kid out.  But I dealt with all that by distancing myself from the feelings which I got good at doing.  Then I married my hubby, his mother had a heart attack after a Gallbladder surgery when hubby was only 18.  He never got over that death, but through helping each other he is a lot better about moving on.  I have lost uncles and grandparents over the years.  My hubby's father had an aneurysm and passed away and then a year later my mother got Cancer and that was really painful.  After she died I got stuck in Anger, you know all those stages of grief those therapist tell you about.  I walked around angry for almost a year.  Finally, my wonderful Mark said to me, "Rose you're supposed to be angry, your mother died, it's ok to be mad," WOW the flood gates opened and I crossed over...I moved past my angry.  Shortly after my mother passed my 33 year old sister-in-law finally got pregnant, my brother and her had been together forever, and were trying so hard to have a baby, My sil always had a problem with her health, always on meds.  One day when she was about 5 months pregnant she took 2 meds that didn't mix and she took a nap and didn't wake up.  That year was a very rough year for us.  My poor brother told me after that there were days he wanted join her and their unborn daughter...but he chose life and he is doing ok now.  After all this I have become the type of person that does not tippy toe around death, Death is  a part of the process of life, but no matter how old our love one is when they die, we get mad, we get sad and we want them back.  Saying it's God's will, they're better off, blah blah especially right after they die only makes the person experiencing the loss angry.  A couple of years ago a kid my son has know since kindergarten, got drunk with his friend took the truck down a country road at 100 miles an hour hit a poll and were killed instantly.  They showed these kids at the wake that had a line that was 2 hours long to see the parents...these kid's death was a waste, but what do say to their parents?  I don't remember what I said to his mother, except to give her a hug and said please remember to eat something.  I know it sounds dumb, but this poor woman could barely stand up.  She was so out of it that she was showing people the part of her son's neck that broke during the accident.  And I don't blame her, losing your child is probably the worse thing that could ever happen to a parent.  Anyway, I guess this process of death that I am still going through is always floating around in my head, and I think about it when I come in contact with some directly who is experiencing it.  I am not perfect at this, trust me, but I very open with the subject, seems to have helped me...lately my mother has been visiting me in my dreams.  Now I could try and figure out the meaning in these dreams, but I try not to do that...I just figure she wants to hang around and send her grandbabies off to college, and let me know she is always here for me.  Something she never got to do...makes me sad, but not angry.  For me I think we as the living need to help those poor souls we come in contact with on a daily basis...have an easier time in this life.  It's our duty as spiritual beings here on this earth....Oh yeah and Mr *? he thanked me for understanding and I told him ... no problem.

Saturday, August 14, 2004

Does this mean I'm finally "KEWL"??

Mel Sitting On Brick WallLast night after we got big boys futon down the narrow stairs into his dad's waiting van we made our own escape!  We headed to downtown  Aurora on of course or Harley.  On Friday nights they have what is called "friday night alive", which I suppose is good, because Aurora by night tends to be more like Friday night dead. Aurora is the 2nd biggest city in the state after Chicago.  There tends to be a lot of gang problems, shootings and such.  It always amazes me how I can live 10 minutes away from a place and still feel safe in my little old house where we never lock our doors.  Gotta love America and the 41 Oswego Police.  Anyway, at this feast oldest stepson's friend< little John (why do these guys always have nicknames?), sponsored this particular night, he owns his own Motorcycle shop and is cashing in on the "Jesse James", "Orange county choppers" craze.  These guys have their own TV shows on the Discovery channel and build custom motorcyles.  I wonder if little John will get his own TV show?  Seems that everybody wants to be Cool and ride a motorcycle, and they all want Cool and different paint jobs.  Even the foreign motorcycles are getting into the act.  I saw Spiderman paint job, some weird green paint job, And the choppers all had flames, and pretty paint (aw I guess I shouldn't call it pretty, Huh?).  I am always wondering what the old type bikers are think of the this craze.  It was so weird to be down there and be included in the "group" of cool people.  I've always been a loner, and never liked to go with the crowd.  This group has their own cool biker hand shakes and the young snots do that devil horns thing with their hands.  Thank God, Mark doesn't act like that. It's bad enough when he hangs out with those guys he picks up their biker lingo.  On the way home I asked Mark if this meant I was cool now.  He said, "yep and remember you're married to the "legend" too", I had forgot all about the title he gave to himself when we first got married.  You see my 20 year class reunion was right after we got married.  I, being a dork in school was so excited to bring my popular in high school hubby to the reunion and show off.  It was fun, and take it from me you do get to go back where you came from and feel good about yourself.  It's only human nature, and sometimes you gotta feel proud of yourself.  Next year is our 30 (ick am I that old??) and I will be so happy to let people know that it is possible to stay happily married to the same guy for  10 years and counting!!

So kids I guess I am cool, even if it in the most important place to me....in my own mind!!

Sun Playing With Beach Ball

Friday, August 13, 2004

is this an addiction???

Real quick...is this blog thing an addiction???  I find myself reading more and more journals.  is it wrong???

Bean LaughingI mean it's so much fun...it must be good for you!

I better go...Bean Laughing

yippeee it's friday!

Biker Riding ChopperIt's Friday and judging from the amount of action coming from the Fire station down the street the weekend must be starting early in my town.  Hopefully it's not a bad accident. 

Well the big boy is all packed up and ready to take his trip to school, he'll be back Sunday to go shopping with his dad and then back to school.  Isn't time weird?  I mean sometimes it goes so slow and then blink it's past.  I enjoyed my time this summer with my Big boy he is really becoming quite a good man, and I am proud of him.  He has changed a lot over these years and I am pleased.  Hopefully, when he gets out of school and into the "real" world he will keep his good attitude.  My husband is of the thought that we should be all involved in our kid's lives, like we can say or do something to prevent them from making mistakes.  He spends long hours think about what these kids are doing, and how they are messing up their lives by their choices or how they are doing so well, or this or that.  I disagree...NOBODY could have changed my mind when I was growing up... I was going to do what I was going to do.  I mean if I had some self respect I might have done some things different, but if I hadn't married the first time I wouldn 't have had these great kids.  And if I had dated and married Mark way back in high school, we probably wouldn't have been happy at all...experience is the teacher in our youth, mistakes, and good/bad decisions are what mold us...and I truly believe we never should stop growing.  I plan on never growing up...I like being where I am at...it's as the kids say...all good. 

AS you can see from my motorcycle picture that is our prime focus daily.  We take nice rides and this weekend it will see some highway.  All the "cool" motorcycle guys are all excited and inviting Mark to all the motorcycle group thingy's.  I guess that makes us popular???  I don't care, I'll go but truly Mark and I both know that this bike is for us to share, a vehicle to get out and about to enjoy God's beauty.  A place to escape the daily grind of life, and come back refreshed and ready to mix among the other inhabitants of this earth. 



Thursday, August 12, 2004

Here we go again...

Well here we go again, it's that time of year when all good boy's and girl's thoughts turn to the dreaded time of year....SCHOOL!  We actually don't start until September 1st, but in our household with 2 college boys preparations are a process ... you see here they have to finish work, get packed, go to school early to get ready to start school.  Big boy Tim, is 3 hours away, and he is in a frat so he has all these "responsibilities".  Also they did remodeling there this summer so 4 years (he's on the 5 year plan...ick his education will cost more than my house, thank God for divorce agreements) worth of stuff came home.  Mostly clothes.  He is ready to go back and honestly so am I.  I always have mixed emotions about his leaving, but this year I am in a better frame of mind and I know I will go out there to visit more this year.  I love his campus and the school is awesome.  Middle boy Eric is going about 1/2 hour away, but he won't be leaving for a couple of weeks.  Lucky for them their dad and step mom are taking them shopping for clothes, they both lost weight this summer, I mean like 20 pounds each so they need pants.  I have always been fortunate, or I mean they have, their dad has always been helpful in the money department, sorta sad though he has used money to get to them.  But I have learned that is their relationship with him.  Not my business.  Liz has to get a few more items for school and Dale who knows?, that kid is so hard on clothes, usually loses most of them, at least I can get away with cheap pants, you know the type buy one get one 1/2 price?...I am sure his mother will help out...that's her way, and I am still trying to contact the guy that does all their senior pictures, I need to get Dale done.  I have had this guy do all the boys, except Jeremy he was already graduated when I married his father.  They come out very well.  I guess he's been away all summer, but as always it will work out.

And as for me...I went to the refresher class and guess what no instructor.  We got show up pay (2 hours) and got to hang out and see part of my co-workers for about 45 minutes.  Wow they have hired about 10 new people.  I am looking for ward to going back .  It will be crazy for awhile, but I miss driving.  I miss the kids and I miss the routine.  I also miss the social outlet.  Most of the people are really deceit folks and I miss them. 

Well better get some stuff done and a shower, Mark wants to go riding and I need to find the long johns...still only in  60's here, but all is not lost August will be back by the weekend.:)

Love to all...rose

Wednesday, August 11, 2004

A baby boy!

We took the motorcycle out to Jeremy and Tracy's last night and it look like they are having a boy!  Tracy's so funny, she and I went out back while the boys were out front and told me she was glad because Jeremy and his mother both have high hairlines, or big foreheads as she calls it and she wouldn't want to do that to a girl. Wow that was funny, she made me swear to not tell anyone.  It's funny the things we think when we have our children.  Who they will look like.  I never gave it a thought when I had my boys.  Mine was a difficult first marriage filled with mistrust, fights, the silence treatment and way too many nights out partying by both of us.  I was just glad that my 2 boys looked like my husband's side of the family.  I was always being falsely accused of cheating.  With my daughter I wanted her to be just like her father.  She is, but much better!  I am happy the baby is a boy though for his brother Jacob's sake, Mark's ex never had girls and which ever of the 5 boys has the first girl will be a sight!  Jacob's getting big, he's walking all over the place and all he wants to do is ride anything that's big and makes noise...so our motorcycle sent him running and pointed at his daddy's bike.

It is so cold here, only in the 60's today which is so utterly insane for Illinois, normal high is 85, so my poor little body is shivering.  Good for sleeping , not for motorcycle riding, although, Mark told me that he would take me to my refresher class tonight.  Ha that is so cute, I guess this is the trick to get him off the couch!!!  It's worth it.

We have been doing a lot of talking about how much God takes care of us.  We went through a lot over the 10 years we have been together, but through all the pain and downs we have always come out double the reward.  I hear that with a little faith and belief God always rewards His people with double.  Makes me take comfort and peace, lets me enjoy my 24 hours I have, my 24 hours that are today, that are mine to do as I please.  I value my wonderful life I have today.  I am loved and am able to realize that this is a pretty awesome world I am allowed to live in. 

God is awesome and I am thrilled!!!  So here I go...Liz is scrambling to "hang out" with all her friends that are "leaving" her this coming school year and I get to drive :)

Big Hugs and LOVE Rose

Tuesday, August 10, 2004


1980 Harley-Davidson FLT 1340 Tour Glide photo

picture credit:Paul Rancourt

Wow I am in love!  And the object of my love??  1980 Harley Davidson!  Ours looks like this one, old fashioned wing on the decal, a bit older but close to this one.  I never thought that a thing could make feel so free and happy!  Last night hubby & I went and picked up the motorcycle that he's been wanting forever.  He traded his semi dump trailer for this bike.  It's a big bike with a tour pack, which means 2 people can comfortably ride.  He has always loved motorcycles, he has the frame of a chopper sitting in the garage.  He has stacks of motorcycle magazines all over the house.  We went for a short ride last night and it is so awesome to feel the wind blow through your hair...don't worry I am getting a helmet...don't want some crazy yuppie, cell phone carrying mom to splat my brains all over Rt 71. I am very happy for my husband.  He sometimes whines about always having to work and sacrifice, mostly for my children.  This bike will make him happy and will give him something he enjoys doing to tinker with.  And I love it too.  This will give us some good old fashion, cheap escape time away from the world.  I can't wait to go out to the Illinois State park in Savanah, especially when the autumn leaves start to turn...really enjoy that time of year.

Going to make this a good day.  You do the same....love you all Rose 

Monday, August 9, 2004

All is well....here in Roseland

you know the world wide web is an interesting thing.  who would have thought such a place could actually save my sanity???  i found this while wonder around :

12 Signs of a Spiritual Awakening

1.  An increased tendency to let things happen rather than make them happen.
2.  Frequent attacks of smiling.
3.  Feelings of being connected with others and nature.
4.  Frequent overwhelming episodes of appreciation.
5.  A tendency to think and act spontaneously rather than from fears based on past experience.
6.  An unmistakable ability to enjoy each moment.
7.  A loss of ability to worry.
8.  A loss of interest in conflict.
9.  A loss of interest in interpreting the actions of others.
10.  A loss of interest in judging others.

11. Loss of ability to judge self.

12. Gaining the ability to love without expecting anything in return.


Wow!  Sometimes in my  search to escape the constant need to help my family figure life out I forgot to step aside and let, as I lovingly call God...the Guy in Sky do His work...I used to get teased by my friends that there is a God and you're not HIM.  Seems my controlling behavior was making me quite an uphappy gal.  I have let all the dear ones that I call my family control how I feel about myself, hense the need to escape.  I don't need to physically escape today.  Got on my knees and gave it ALL to God.  Ahhh much better. 

And I actually got some stuff done today.  Dale made it to Kentucky...he's 2-way phone is dead, but that's normal, Eric got sent home from work because he barfed in the trash can (he needs to get better at hiding illness, comes with age!), Liz is off with friends, Tim made it to work as did Hubby.  It didn't rain so that's good.  Dustin stopped by to fill up a big water jug because the guys are working near here (it's my long lost igloo, but you know how that goes...these things tend to grow feet), and the water out of my hose came out a gross color brown.  Thought it was my hose, but the water in the house was the same...seems the #3 water tower is revolting against the towns folk.  Oh well it will be cleared up soon enough ... so I mowed the grass...a good sweat always clears the head...At least the hot water isn't brown.  And I wasn't washing whites...my lucky day.  Have a peaceful Monday you all...love Rose~

Sunday, August 8, 2004

Thank God for fire and crickets

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH thank God for the campground..and you guys, your comments always make me feel like I am not the only crazed person on this planet.  You can read about stress in magazines, or watch other people experience it on Dr Phil, but knowing there are folks such as yourselves that are either experiencing it or gotten to the other side makes me feel better. Like I can actually stay sane in this crazy world. 

Nice thing was hubby was still a crab when we went to our Hideaway campground.  Dale (youngest boy) came out and we all had a nice talk.  One thing I can say about this family is we are all a bunch of talkers and talking is good.  Helps keep things all on the table.  Dale wants to go with some friends to Kentucky to a bike park.   We are going to let him go...he is really beginning to show some responsiblity by going to work everyday (ONE TIME) and staying out of trouble this summer.  Hopefully this will carry into next school year...he really needs to graduate on time.  He is actually a really cool kid, just needs guidence and what we have been doing seems to be working.  I have stopped living in the regrets of the past...we tried to get him to move in with us many times since he was 9...but it never worked out...I understand that this is God's plan for Dale and I think he will do ok.

Got some normal mom stuff to do today, even though it is Sunday.  Gonna read the paper first.  Next week starts my sights toward the school year and work.  I have a refresher class Tuesday.  And then the week after starts Orientation and bidding.  It will be nice to get back at it.  I love the summer, but I have always had this love affair with learning.  Plus I will have PEOPLE to talk to!  As you all can plainly tell I love to talk!  My job gives me so much freedom and I love to see what's been up with all these great kids that live in my town.  Again, I love you guys and thanks for being there.




Saturday, August 7, 2004

driving mrs rose crazy

My family is slllllllloooooowly trying to drive me crazy!  My hubby is very loudly complaining about Eric.  Eric is being extremely loud today and I have a headache.  Liz is giving me that "look".  After I told her that she needed to STOP staying up until 3 am. and sleeping until noon.  Tim is his normal self...and Dale he was lucky he ducked out to work at 10. 

My husband loves to hold in his "feelings" inside until he can't stand it anymore and then lets me hear about it when he is already so aggravated that it comes very very bad!  Oh well, they are all leaving soon, and I can get on to the business of getting this house in order and pack what I need to go to the trailer to escape this madness.

I have my own issues too, but I guess we as woman are supposed to "fix" everything.  That's basically why I stayed home from work this summer to be the "fixer of problems".  It's a role I've had all my life, and I wish I had never taken up that role.  These people in my family are ALL old enough to fix their own problems and I am basically sick of it.  So here I go ... I am jumping outa the middle.  I am a firm believer of when you quit the game the other people don't have you to play the game with and then they need to figure it out on their own.  I'll be here to do my part...but guess what kids I'm not God.  He can handle His job just fine.  And I'll do mine.  With that I am outta here....oh yeah THANK GOD FOR THIS JOURNAL I would go mad with out it!!  LOVE and all that...Rose

Friday, August 6, 2004


I survived the shopping trip with Lizzieboo, (isn't it funny how we have nicknames for our kids), and I must say we must be both growing up.  I always say I am alittle older than here emotionally, because there is a theory that when people abuse themself  they emotionally stop growing.  I stopped about 3 months before I had my perfect little girl.  She is truly my miracle child and since I am only a few months older than her emotionally sometimes it's hard to decide who is the adult and who is the child.  But my status as mom usually wins out.  I am fortunate because we are very close and are able talk ... but we are also respectful of each other privacy.  There are things that I really don't need to know.  That's what her 15 year old friends are for.  A few years back when she was in junior high she did have some "issues" that required therapy.  Seems all her friends had an opinion of her.  She was very upset by this.  I took her to a very trusted therapist, (as I in the past who has been the queen of going to the therapist) has a hard time find a good one.  She went to 2 sessions and was deemed cured.  Seems her friends had the problem and she was "normal".  Liz's answer was to find new friends...and I am glad she did she is very happy and normal now.  THANK GOD!  There's nothing like an overly dramatic 15 year old.  Her newest crisis is that all her close friends are going to the NEW high school and now she's sad, but she'll be ok.  We are all always ok, if we give ourselves a chance.  Change is scary and I used to hate it.  Now I welcome it.  Since I got together with my hubby, in 1994 my life has been much more adventurous.  I go places and see things...this is a big old world...and most days it's pretty amazing.  Even if it's just a walk around my neighborhood to check out the neighbor's hosta's.  We are planning  a trip to California over Christmas break.  And I won't be excited until book the hotel.  We are driving and that is always fun.  You get to see the country in a whole new way.  I didn't realize just how big this country is until I took a cross country trip.  Hubby's family always drove on their vacations and always went somewhere every year.  My family never did that.  I am glad I have him to travel with.  Never a dull moment.  Whelp gotta go ... have a great weekend...Love to you...rose


Thursday, August 5, 2004

It's that time in the morning where it's very quiet.  I like this time in the morning.  I am lucky because when I am working I work 3 hours in the morning and come home about 9 am to quiet.  The world is off to work and I have 5 hours until I have to go back to take the kiddies back home from school.  This coming school year will probably be different though...we have an additional high school  to deal with and although it's only 2 grade levels we still have to shuttle kids to both schools, but I am not going to worry about that...I will leave that up to the higher ups at school.  I did go in and help move buses as our parking lot is being paved.  I really have let my brain go on mush lately as I didn't follow directions and went in the wrong way with my bus...ooopsy.  Oh well, I'll get back into the groove when I'm back to normal...whatever that is.  I guess things are still up in the air as far as routes, buses, and who is doing what...but as I said I'll show up get my route and do as I know how to do...transport my town's precious kiddos to and from their education.  I do miss the routine and am having mixed feelings about school starting.  I'll miss my boys when they go back to school, but I am ready for it.  They get attitudes when they first come home and then when it's time to go back.  I know they miss their freedom.  They are growing up so quickly and becoming fine young men.  I am so proud of them.

Liz and I have been cleaning out closets and getting ready to do some work around this poor old house.  Our home was built in the 1860's.  So it's very old, but it does have character and it is home to us.  I love going through old boxes and I found some old tee shirts from when I was in high school, Liz thought they were cool and is going to wear them.  It's funny how what was old now comes back...weird.

It's nice and cool here almost cold to me.  But it's clear and the sun is shining so it's a good day.  Going to go focus on the unending pile of laundry.  At least it's windy so it will dry quickly on the line.  Then I have to get my insurance paperwork done.  That's it for now.  Make it a good day...Love Rose

Tuesday, August 3, 2004

ME of such little faith....

Wow, there are days that I really can be tested, but after the test things always seem to work out.  I do tend to be hard on my poor hubby, but I have learned to quietly complain and not "let him have it" when I am upset.  He tends to be a nag though, especially about my kids, I've actually been pretty good about letting that go too.  He told me this morning that there is a guy who may be interested in buying both his semi and trailer.  We owned this truck for 2 years and through a  series of mishaps  things just weren't working out for us.  The financial hole we were digging into was just getting too deep.  By the grace of God my hubby got a job with an very good company that 4 of his children all work at.  Anyway the truck is fixed and needs to be sold.  Hopefully this man will buy the truck and we can get back to a normal life.  Seems to be heading that way.  Life is good and I am so appreciative for all I have ... I just feel like life will get better. 

Boy is it HOT here today.  We don't have air, but that's ok, going in and out of air conditioning really wipes me out.  Even my cats are sprawled out.  Supposed to be cooler tomorrow and rain, which is good plants are thirsty. 

School starts really late this year cuz of all the schools not being done yet.  I am going in tomorrow to move buses, so they can pave the parking lot.  It's always funny because the parking lot we move them to isn't very far away, but some of the drivers are so lazy that they have to be shuttled back.  Hee, makes me laugh.  They always call me "hyper" at work because I usually walk fast.  I have to I am a shrimp and have always had to keep up with "tall" people.  And then we don't even start bidding for routes or orientation until the 3rd week of the month.  Wow what a long summer for me....but it's been enjoyable.  Here's to a nice calm, cool , day....


Monday, August 2, 2004

here we go again

Here I go again ... freaking out and being "old" Rose again.  I was up all night because I am very frustrated with my hubby as he tends to procrastinate.  Well his dump truck is STILL sitting at his old shop NOT being sold.  And the trailer still sitting at another guys shop.  He still has about 6 weeks to get it sold, but I am a go getter type, and this is driving me nuts.  In my head I know it will all work out.  But I express my concerns to him and he just says, ok I'll take care of it.  AND he doesn't .  It drives me nuts!  I trust that it will all work out, but isn't it hard to fight your personality??  I mean I am the type that knows something has to be done and does it.  He likes to take his time, wait until the last minute and then it's done.  This morning I made my point a little clearer, but don't worry I was nice about it.  AND then as if I didn't need enough self-inflected pain and agony I called the bank recorded line to check on my bank balance and I though that I had overdrawn myself (old problem that I have gone almost a year toward recovery...meaning I don't write bad checks!!), but I forgot about the "hold" on deposits.  I freaked out on the poor bank lady...but it's all good.  Got down and my knees and asked God to calm me down ... and my part?  I am going do all I can to trust Him.  I know in my heart that my faith will give God the opportunity to reward me with abundance...so today my needs are met and I will be a-ok.  It's going to be a hot one so I need to get my outside stuff done early.

Oh yeah, after camping yesterday we went to grandbaby's house to drop something off for my stepson and got to spend a few minutes with him.  He's so cute, but he is spoiled, oh well.  I can tell by some of Tracy and Jeremy's actions that they are really not happy about the way Mark's ex tries to run grandbaby, Jacob's life and theirs too.  I guess she took a swimming floaty that wasn't supposed to go, and Jeremy wasn't happy about.  Live and learn is all I can say.  AND I must mind my own business and not judge.  My time will come and I will be over run with grandbabies!!

Speaking of outside, I think I have a squash and a pumpkin!! I never have success with them, because I alway plant them tooclose together, but it looks like I will get some.  Yippee!  all for now....rose