Sunday, January 30, 2005

lighten up u!!!

I came across this comic again and remembered how funny it was.  My kids love all sorts of comics.  Especially Liz, she has Mad magazine, Garfield, Calvin and Hobbs of course, etc.  Humor truly is the best medicine. 

I need to lighten up some...all these thoughts of poverty and lack are useless.  The weather is turning warmer in these parts and I am going to get outside for a nice walk and the SUN can do it job and brighten my mood.

You all have a wonderful Sunday!!

Saturday, January 29, 2005

Yesterday at work I was walking across the parking lot and another driver came running up to me and says, "I have something for you".  He had burned a DVD for me of my Daughter in a one act.  It was so sweet and thoughtful of him.  Then I talked to his wife, she's a monitor and I rarely see her.  A few months ago she had pulled out in front of car that was going 60 miles per hour.  She had died for a moment as they had lost her vital signs.  I asked her if she "saw the light".  She did say that her thoughts were above her and she only remembers a few things, not the accident.  I then asked her if she was a changed person because of her brush with death.  She said that she was.  She said that she belonged to a garden club and didn't like it and was going to quit, but she changed her mind because all the members sent her 90 cards, food, gifts, flowers and came to see her.  Wow!  She said now instead of just sending a card she is going to actually take the time to visit people.

Wow, that whole day gave me hope, hope for humanity!  I saw God's work that day.

Friday, January 28, 2005

Friday night

This picture of Jesus was one that I had received many years ago shortly after my divorce 1985.  I often get "signs" or thoughts...sometimes I read some sort of meaning into them sometimes I store them in my brain. Anyway, I meet my daughter's real father in drug treatment.  At that time I had been released and was going back to attend meetings.  Actually I was going back to meet men.  Sad but I stopped shopping for men in bars only to go to "sober" bars.  Mind you these poor souls had only been sober long enough to actually be dry not anywhere near any sort of clarity of mind let alone soul.  But here I was a repeat offender....I had been in a few treatment center enough to pick up on the lingo.  Anyway I meet him and he had that exact picture!  I thought that this must be a sign sent from God that I must be with this person and help him get well.  Well needless to say things didn't work out and as hard as I tried I never was able to "make" thing work out.  I see today that our meeting was to create my beautiful daughter, and to help me along my journey.  This man now is on wife 5, not counting all the rest of the woman with children he has been with along the way.  It has to be a sad existance...constantly running from yourself, never stopping to see that the one you are running away from is yourself.  It's never about the other people, or the jobs, or the money, or the town, or even your family, it's about you.  And the only one that can truly help you to change is you...and of course God.  You can never run from God...He's always there...always speaking to you...from pictures, from thoughts, and especially from people...people like you...who have been the best gift of all!  We just simply have to pay attention.

So thank you dear J-land have helped to keep this girls spirits high!!

getting better one day at a time

      There once was a man who had nothing for his family
to eat. He had an old shotgun and three bullets.
So, he decided that he would go out and kill
something for dinner.
  As he went down the road, he saw a rabbit and he shot at the rabbit
and missed it. Then he saw a squirrel and fired a shot at the squirrel
and missed it. As he went further, he saw a wild turkey in the tree
and he had only one bullet, but a voice came to him and said,
"Pray first, aim high, and stay focused."
However, at the same time, he saw deer which was a better kill.
He brought the gun down and aimed at the deer. But, then he saw a
rattle snake between his legs about to bite him, so he naturally
brought the gun down further to shoot the rattle snake.
Still, the voice said again to him, "I said 'pray, aim high and stay
focused." So, the man decided to listen to the voice. He prayed,
then aimed the gun high up in the tree and shot the wild turkey.
The bullet bounced off the turkey and killed the deer. The handle
fell off the gun and hit the snake in the head and killed it.
  And, when the gun had gone off, it knocked him into a pond.
When he stood to look around, he had fish in all his pockets,
a dead deer and a turkey to eat.
  The snake (Satan) was dead simply
because the man listened to God.
  Bottom line:
Pray first before you do anything, aim and shoot high in your goals,
and stay focused on God. Pass this onin order that someone else might
be blessed. Never let others discourage you concerning your past. The
past is exactly that - " the past." Live every day one day at a time.
And remember that only God knows our future and that he will not put
you through any more than you can bear. Do not look to man for your
blessings but look to the Lord. He can open doors for you that only
He is able to do. Doors that you will not slip through but doors that
only He has prepared in advance for you in your favor.
Wait, and be still, patient:
keep God first and everything else will follow.
P.S. When Satan is knocking at your door, simply say,
"Jesus, could you please get that for me?"

Wednesday, January 26, 2005

whooo hooo ERIC is Asst Manager

I am so very proud of my son Eric, he is the kid that has always felt pressured from his real father to be "smart" like his older brother...he tried college and failed...

Well this kid is flying to Eu Claire Wisconsin to start training as an Assistant department manager for the Sacamore Illinois Menards Store.  Whooo hooo!!!

Now he can actually afford to live on his own!!!


God is AWESOME!!!







Trust is a hard thing to learn, but learn we must to trust...Early this week I was depressed,sad and feeling very helpless.  I expressed those words...and yesterday after having a very loud talk with my husband we came to some decisions.  I was taught a long time ago, to ask God for help and then do the next right thing...soon I will have an intutive thought on what the next action should be. 

My dear friend Barb, gave me some advice, words I have heard a million times before, but as humans we tend to forget things...quickly.  But my Father in Heaven will take care of me, just as my father on earth has.

Although Mark is still not back to work, I did call my father and he has agreed to help us, until we can sell our truck.  Amen to that.

I guess for this girl I have a lot to learn...

Tuesday, January 25, 2005

Is everything going to be alright????

Matthew 6:33  But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

Well kids this is proving to be a week that pretty much sucks!  Mark is still not back to work, and his boss is home from his vacation, one week of which he spent in Vegas a porno convention...:::don't judge Rose, don't judge!!:::

I guess I am really at a place of just having to trust God that everything will be taken care of.  That semi is still sitting in the driveway and by all rights the bank should have repo'ed it but they are being very cool about it.  Probably because I have been with them for 20 years and we have paid them back thousands of dollars.

So there's God at work there.  I am really trying hard to see this as a growing potential.  But it's hard, when you have a husband who wants to work so bad.  And the mountain of bills...And in hindsight we should have done a lot of things different , but you never know what we'll gain from this (spiritually).Rainbow.gif - (2K)

I always hold in my heart .. this.. I must not tell God how big my mountain is ... I must tell the mountain just how big my God is...

Another day ... hopefully tomorrow will be a sunny, happy day...on yeah the moon has been full and it's cool in the morning around 7 to see the sun coming up with the full moon still hanging around!

Sunday, January 23, 2005

I love this reminds me of growing up...sledding, skating, and snow ball fights...hmmmm, nah too cold...I'd rather hang out here at home, drink hot mugs of herbal tea, watch hubby paint (still painting ;) ), as he takes 'breaks' to watch the football game. 

"The Game" Print

 My washing machine stopped working the other day...I am pretty sure it's the timer, but if I fill it up with water it will spin it today it decided to agitate too...whoo hoo, now  I can do laundry, with out having to hand swish it.  Maybe it will start to fill up too.  No biggy, I am sure it went into shock after the boys came home for winter break with all their laundry.  The laundrymat will be my last resort...I used to live at the laundrymat, heck there's where I saw the OJ verdict and learned to watch Days of our Life with the attentant ( you have watch what they want or they get testy), but the one near my house always has stoners hanging out ... I mean a laundrymat???!! can't they find someplace better to hang out???  They should be out sledding, or having a snowball fight!  Why do kids today think that they have to escape their dreadful life with drugs!!  A good old snowball fight would solve everything!!

"The Ambush" Print

Time for more tea and whites! 

Saturday, January 22, 2005

  We didn't get nearly as much snow as predicted.  It's blowing so it seem like a lot, but my guess we probably got 4 inches, which would make those weathermen correct. Went out to get some food.  Illinois has a store called Aldi's.  It's motto is the stock up store.  So you can really get your money's worth.  Thank God for that. I must stay in the Thanking God mode or I'll get into fear again and it's Saturday...who wants to be bummed out on the weekend???  We did get a check in the mail today from our insurance company, I had raised our deductable for our home, suggested by my daughter in law, so they sent us a refund...which is going toward our payment plan for our mortgage.  SEE ROSE EVERYTHING DOES WORK OUT!!!  TRUST GOD!!! Now we need Mark to work next week.  Which is a very good possiblity as his boss comes back from vacation.  The snow should not effects work.  Prayer for this would be appreciated. I do know that prayer works! After my divorce in 1985 I was a very heavy drinker.  I blamed everybody for my situation, cursed God and alcohol became my escape.  I did the whole treatment thing many times.  One time I met a girl who was visiting another patient.  She told me she would pray for me.  While long story short she did.  It didn't work right away, I still drank and blamed.  Another time I went into a church (I liked the look of it) very drunk and the members also prayed for me.  My family prayed for me, I even prayed for me!  Even though I was very angry at God...He loved me so much that He  let me experience all the errors of my ways.  One day at a meeting I sat there, 6 months pregnant, mad at the world, just listening.  This girl told another guy that he had to quit blaming people for his problems.  That clicked for me, and I had probably heard that same message a hundred times, but that day that moment I was ready.  She became my mentor, and friend...I had that moment of clarity and took action...there were days I stayed sober because I was afraid of her.  But since that day August 12, 1988, I stopped drinking and stayed stopped.  My baby?  Well she's 16 years old, perfect and miracle baby! I always have to remember that God works miracles in HIS time..not mine I must always trust that I have so much to learn, to experience to enjoy in life. And finally that I am a beautiful child of God, and as His child I know He will always take care of me.   Have a wonderful weekend!!  

Friday, January 21, 2005


It's supposed to snow ~ and I say whatever!!  They are allllways wrong about how much and love to try and panic people.  I wonder if the grocery stores are talking to the weather guys so people will stock up?  Ya think???

We're watching one of my favorite shows...THIRD WATCH.  I started watching the old ones last summer.  And I watch them  during the day...and now with the new season it gets confusing, because I go back and forth.  My family always says I get obsessed with they are my family...will all I can say is I'm glad my bro Bosco is out of the hospital and those bad guys didn't blow him up!!  I guess I am a product of the 60's, and grew up with the boob tube as my pal ... not as bad as my kids, at least we went outside and played kick the can and steal the flag...I guess everything changes...

But sitting on my Bus all day listening to today's youth I have faith for the future.  There are some really awesome kids out there.  And they are doing great things.  Not just miming the TV stars or rap singers...sure some of them dress like junior Brittney's, but that's all teenagers, they all want to fit in.  But most are pretty normal.  They are our future...and I have hope.

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

whoa it's hump day already

Wow it's Wednesday already and the rest of the week will prove to be just as fast...I've not been able to sleep at night because Mark doesn't come to bed until 1:30 am and then I try to make up for it by taking a nap on my break...hopefully he will be back to work next week.  The concrete trucks are out so I am sure when his boss comes back from his vacation they will work.  I know his son is going crazy at home because he's used to working too.  Oh well...I know it bothers him not to work and he's ready, I guess that's why men need to work, you think?

Thursday and Friday the High schools have finals so I will be working most of the day to accommodate them getting out early...which is fine. 

Mark grew up taking family vacations and he traveled with the Navy so he really is quite the gypsy.  He has been looking (online, a dangerous tool in the wrong hands), at houses in Houston, TX.  I guess he wants to run away from home so to speak.  Running gets you no where so I told him we need to hang out here for awhile, at least get the kids grown.  Then we will talk about moving or at least when we get older a place to spend the winters.  Illlinois is way too cold and depressing for me.

off to eat I'm starving!


Monday, January 17, 2005

Painting w/hubby

Home today because of the I am painting with hubby.  I hate to paint because it's messy and I hate cleaning up the mess...but painting with Mark has been a pleasure.  I guess I am mellowing in my old age. 

Liz is off doing some project with her classmates and I am freezing.  The temperature will finally hit the 20's on Wednesday...thank's bitter and I really don't like the cold at all.  We have an old boiler and hot water heat...thankfully it is chugging along just fine.  I am glad we have this type of heat or the satic electricity and dry skin that forced air brings would give me something else to whine about.

The wake was sad in that I saw people from my youth..I grew up in a town about 45 minutes from where I live now and the man that was killed is the son of Bobbie, she and Carol were my Mother's best friends since their young mother days.  Their husband's raced cars with my father.  It was sad to see Bobbie, she has lived through so much...but she stays a pillar of strength...breast cancer, her 2 boys in and out of jail, her husband who has always been very hard to live with.  She never had grandchildren and she would have been the perfect grandma.  God bless Bobbie.  I say Carol with here 2 daughters on the way was so wonderful to see her too.  Made me feel like I had seen my dear mother again.  Just to hug and kiss those two.

I learned some things yesterday from my TV sermon that we watch...(wish I lived in Texas where they are based)....

1)  God wants to bless us

2)  God wants us to have the Faith and the Belief for this to happen.

3)  We need to thank God in advance for His favor in our life, in all ways and in all things.

This works and I believe...

The one on the left is my beautiful daughter Liz.  Emily is her best friend...they had to separate this year as Em had to go to the New school...but they are bound by 2 little drama queens!!

more later....

Sunday, January 16, 2005

aol is driving me nuts again!!

Today is a day that drives a girl crazy!  AOL journals are not alerting or letting me edit.  Also, Mark's ex-wife is emailing him all sorts of nonsence...I learned along time ago that she is his past and his lesson to deal with...I just need to remember to Thank God for his favor in this situation because as aggravating as it is she will always be part of our lives and we will never be able to change her.  It's a shame that my stepson will suffer, but she created that monster it's seems only fair that she gets to deal with him now. 

I remember all the lies I told myself to keep drinking...that everything that happened to me was somebody else's fault.  The lies kept me drunk and nearly killed me for a long time...fortunately for me I paid attention to that one moment of clarity and actually stood still long enough to let God's grace show me the truth...and the truth indeed does set you free...

I am is the wake and I have to do what I have to do...

Saturday, January 15, 2005

Welcome!'s cold here!  It's a normal Saturday here at my house.  Mark is very upset as he got a call from the school stating Dale has pulled himself from school.  hmmm next week is finals and I am sure the kid thinks that with a progress report full of D-'s and F's he will not pass his finals or his classes.  Mark's ex never called, emailed or let him know what was going on.  I am sure she feels it's not his business as Dale is 18, which is fine by me.  I have finally gotten the concept that God is the only one who can change anybody and if you're 18 and you have the choice of living at a home full of rules and you can't have you 15 year old girl friend in your bedroom while you're home alone, and you have to go to work on time everyday and you have a curfew or the other one of doing what ever you feel like doing,, which one would you pick???  Personally I am tired of having to deal with this kid, he told us he's 18 and want's to have his freedom so have it.

Mark's doing better now we had a gift card to Home Depot and we had bought a gallon of paint yesterday and he started painting...which got his mind off his son.  I thought the color was a clay pot color but it was really really orange soooooo back I went and found the perfect color in the oops bin and it's perfect ... all for 5 bucks!  He's watching football now so he's happy.

My father called to tell me that the grown son of some family friends of ours was killed in a snowmobile accident.  This guy has put his family through hell, drug dealing, running from the law, getting caught, serving time...his parents nearly lost their home getting him out of trouble and now this...I think he was doing better too...that goes to show you that you never know when it's your time...that you need to enjoy and be happy everyday.  And that no matter how much your children get into trouble you have to love them, but you must realize that they are not you...they are themselves.  They have to learn their own lessons in matter how much it hurts us to watch.

I know I had to do what I did to get where I am...there are days I wonder if I made some kind of pact with devil when I got sober...I know, I know I should be happy to be sober, happy to have been blessed with a good relationship after years of horrible ones, but everything else seems to be going nuts...but then I realize this...that life is hard, sometimes things just happen...but in the end result the alternative is to not be here.  And as for all the rest ... this too shall pass...

Love you all...

Thursday, January 13, 2005

the other shoe fell

Well the other shoe fell as they say and first it rained then it snowed.  Big whoop...I am tired tonight as all this stress driving has pooped me out.  After work we had a meeting with our 'big' boss and it seem our wonderful town has gotten too big for it's school budget. With 3 new grade schools opening in the fall with  no budget to run them.  Guess where they want to cut??  Us, yep we are a school run bus service and they want to cut us, along with upping all the athletic, parking fees, drivers ed would be optional and cost $300, cut extra circulars, (everything my daughter loves, show choir, drama, plays), cut the band (yes the one that went to the Rose Bowl would be gone), art, gifted and talented, kids that should be expelled and on and on...I saw this coming as I have seen the growth here...way to fast for this little farm town.  It feels like we in this town are being blackmailed...give us your money or we hold your kids hostage...maybe this is a sign!  Mark's stepmother has a beautiful ranch just sitting empty in Missoula Montana...the price?, me taking care of her (eeeck!!) and besides I don't think I could drive a school bus in the mountains...but it is an option...

I think though that the tax hike will pass, after all we are now a town of yuppies and you know they only want what's best for susy and joey.  We shall see....

Time for me to take Liz to the Park District run tryouts for her upcoming play...thank God they can't take that from her!!!

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

it's 60 degrees!!!

It's 60 balmy degrees here today...we even had thunder last night!  We had horrible fog and of course a lot of the drivers out and about did not have their headlights on...for God's sake people put your lights on!!  But the other shoe will fall when we get down to 5 degrees on Friday!  Gotta love the midwest!

We had a nice evening last night.  Jeremy (son 1) and Matt (son 3) were bowling and Justin ("adopted" son) was even there.  Tracy was relaxing as I think it was her first night out after the baby.  After about beer number 3 she began to put her guard down and oh my!  I asked her how things were going with the kids and Mark's ex...(who is very overbearing!).  She said don't ask ... a little later...she says, oh she's over everyday...Jacob is such a brat when he's with her...I simply smiled and said, "well dear remember you are the mother".  And left it at that.  Of course my dear hubby couldn't leave it at that...and at the end of the evening he asked Tracy what she would name a child if she had a girl someday, and then he said his ex's name...oh boy that man can't just leave things alone can he??

I feel bad for them they certainly don't need a meddling mother-in-law doing their parenting duties.  Matt's future mother-in-law is already trying to decorate the home he is building...where do these woman get the nerve???  I have better things to do then run my kids lives...I am married right??  And I actually like my husband.

Otherwise everything is nice and quiet...let's keep it that way...PEACE!!!

Tuesday, January 11, 2005

glad it's over

I am glad today is over...first I was hoping for a snow day as we were supposed to have freezing rain last night ... we didn't.

Mark will be home for the next 2 weeks and will not receive unemployment...he was self-employeed during that period.  He was in a rant last night when I got home...He almost applied for a railroad job online, as he got laid off a few years back from the Union Pacific and loved that job, but he had to be gone too much, I hated it.  He finally calmed down when I came home and told him that God had plan for us and this is part of it...enjoy being home...I sure am...he cooks, he cleans when I tell him what to do...what else can a woman ask for??

I am NOT too worried about the money...that's God's department...I have everything I need today.

We are going to the place where 2 of Mark's kids bowl tonight...It's Jeremy's 30 th and he wants us to come out for awhile.  Mark's ex has the kids, as usually, but I'll be with HER  kid.

Speaking of his ex, she still is enabling Dale, as everyday we get more reports from school regarding his absences and tardys...I guess the school knows he's living with her so they are calling her.  My hand are clean now...if that kid fails it's her doing.  Besides as I said before Dale is God's job...we did what we could. 

I best get ready...take care...

Friday, January 7, 2005


We got our snow but not as much as the 10 inches that they predicted.  We got more like 6 and it just made for messy roads, whiny high schoolers and a wet bus.  Hubby is still home and he has become quite the House Hubby.  He does dishes, vacuums, cooks, and shoveled, even remembering to shovel around the mailbox, which we have to do or we get no mail.  The Village used to plow around them, but now they have to pay for the ones they run they just don't do it anymore.  Hubby cleaned the garage and is going to start moving furniture around as we are going to start painting this old house...the kids are beginning to move away and will be back for awhile next spring .. but then they hope to find a place to share on their own.  We are going to move upstairs, and it's about time.  The room is bigger and this place needs paint.  Actually it needs carpet but that will come in due time.  Also, my wonderful husband is learning how to live the TODAY!!

It's a difficult concept, but he's getting it!!

I 've just been busy working, I have a trip it will be a short weekend, but that's never hurt anybody.  til later...~rose

Tuesday, January 4, 2005

here comes the snow


 The weather forecast is for anywhere from 8 to 10 inches of snow we've been lucky here in the southern burbs of chicago as we are so called to have really skipped out of any major snowfalls for many years. I remember years of big snowfalls as a kid, of course as a kid everything seems big  


 When I was throwing papers as we used call our job when I was delivering newspapers I remember staring at the weather channel praying to God that there would be NO major storms during the night.  my little dodge neon had very low clearance and I barely made it down even the highways. when the plows would come out we were always in each others ways...many customers didn't understand why their newspaper was not delivered on time OR worse yet delivered on time and under the snow at which they would chop it up in their snow blowers or they would blow away. such was my life as a paper boy...365 days a year I went over 1600 days without even a day off...nor rain, nor sleet, nor dark of night...blah blah!  thankfully I now longer do that job   And tomorrow I don't worry, my routes are close and will be plowed. Mark was told at work that they have work for him when the weather get better...we had a lot of rain and now this snow...I have come to NOT believe in the weather reporters they are usually wrong.  He did sign up for unemployment ... you can do that online now...(wow soon we won't have to leave our home for anything!!)  and he will have that for when it gets slow.  It's nice having him home though, he cooks, he cleans up, he's in a good mood! I have a sports trip on Saturday so that will help also...   But I will stick with my old belief...I am taken care of today...I have all I need today... Thank you God!

Saturday, January 1, 2005

Rose Bowl Parade/you go Oswego Band

Tournament of Roses - Oswego LogoTournament of Roses

Oswego High School Marching Band did us PROUD~~


Band: Oswego District 308 High School Marching Band (#62)
Location: Oswego, Ill.

Oswego District 308 High School Marching Band celebrates its 70th year of bands in Oswego, Illinois. Some band members are grandchildren and great-grandchildren of those who marched in the very first Oswego band. Once a small rural town, Oswego is one of Chicago’s fastest growing suburbs. This year’s marching band features music that represents every state that Route 66 passes through on the way to the Rose Parade--the historic highway starts in Chicago, ends in California and even runs along Colorado Blvd, the Rose Parade route.

This marching band does not compete yearly in marching competitions; under the direction of Margene Pappas, it achieves a standard of excellence through focusing on serving the community, entertaining athletic crowds and teaching principles of leadership to all students. The director's husband, Peter Pappas, retired band director, took the Glenbrook South High School Band to the 1979 Rose Parade. Through Oswego’s first appearance at the Rose Parade, the Pappases may be the first husband-wife band directors to have taken two different schools to the Rose Parade.

Our local Marching Band did us Proud!!!!  Love you kids!!<3