Thursday, October 9, 2008

I am going to be using Everything is going to be all right 2
as my home....

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

moved in...

I migrated my journal but it didn't go to my new one...oh well. I guess I'll have to copy and paste my entries from that one. anyway, being here gave me a chance to read my old entries from 2004...Wow this girl has grown up....WAY up!

And to think some of the same crap that was going on with my kids is still the same! Same with the jobs, but NOW I'd don't let it bother Mark and I have back up jobs! And God! He's my back up job!

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

ever the rebel...

ever the optimist I am going to hang out here in AOL land until last call...even though I don't drink I can still party with the best of 'em!!! 

Things are very fall like around the Midwest, nice temperatures with only a hint of rain.  Hubby's working construction after a 7 week layoff (I've been so busy I thought it was only 5 weeks!!)  I have a sports trip every evening, getting home before 7, with hubby home at 3:00 he's been making dinner.  I think because Jeremy and Jim are officially moved in next door, he's feeding them too....sigh...sometimes it's hard to let go...
speaking of, my son Eric has had enough of being in Ohio, working a stressful job and being 5 hours from family...he's finding a WAY to come home...transfer, beg, whatever...he misses family & security of knowing someone who loves you has your back.   He's planning on moving in his dad and step mom to save money, by Thanksgiving.  It'll be good for them all.

Dale has his first session with my friend the therapist today.   I trust it will go well...she yelled at me last week because I do everyone's laundry.  I depend on my washing machine, and with at one time 7 people's worth of large jeans I do NOT let anyone touch my machine.  She says they should go to the laundromat.  whatever...

Otherwise AOL I am staying until you throw all my stuff on the curb! 

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

I am here!  I am moving on...too!

Dang it!!

Just got the email regarding AOL journals!!!  I have over four years of journal to figure out how to save...a fitting end to a very, very crappy day...

The babies are coming!  Jeremy is renting the house next door to me...officially...and he's taking my stepson, Jim who's been here for nearly 2 years with him!!

The youngest, Dale after many threats and weeks went to Target this morning to apply for a stocking job...with Liz as his reference he is pretty sure he will be employed by weeks end.  He feels this job is beneath him as he is used to well paying construction jobs...but with the current economy his older brothers may be joining him. ;)

Mrs H is in the nursing home, healing, having us still work for her, and demanding to be sent home.  Guess I was wrong, she's feisty as ever and wants to keep on hanging around this earth for a while.  She often tells me St Peter asks God if it's time for her to come to Heaven...He says not yet!

Hubby's 35th reunion Friday evening get together. 

Fun, but Saturday's picnic was better...less alcohol by some...Here's some comments...D says, "I don't remember you, who were you?" to me...and " I had such a crush on Mark during junior high"   By the end of it all as with all things age is the great equalizer.  People I thought were snobs are now down to earth, others are trying too hard to look either young or older than their years.  Otherwise it was a great time.

Another busy work week...but busy is good...especially with 3 school days off in October...God I love my job!

Thursday, September 25, 2008

mrs. h

I can't figure out why this underlined ... It won't undo...::sigh:::

I am sitting here trying to phrase what I want to say...perhaps it's sadness, perhaps frustration, I got word yesterday from my friend J that Mrs H, whom we both work for took a fall and broke her arm.  J and I went to
see her last evening at the hospital and she seems resigned to the fact that this was inevitable.  The fateful day had come when she would no longer be able to live in her apartment.  A nursing home was in her future.  I feel such great sadness not only for those of us girls whom have become her dear friends but for her.  Hiring us was her last grasp of independence.  Now she will have to go into full time care.  She is a woman who has always been independent, a fair yet sometimes stern employer, but always with a sense of humor or a kind word upon my departure each work day. 
Maybe it's us who has to accept it.  Working for her was never about the money.  It was about sharing a friendship with an elder who showed me that getting older was not so bad, that the road ahead was bumpy, but I'd be ok.  Her way was always, always be true to yourself, work hard, don't use dope (a person will sell their mother's eyeballs for dope, her mother used to tell her), and stay happy.  It's hard to be happy today.  My friend is fading away and there is nothing I can do, but understand that this is life.  Her life, Mrs H's way.  She seemed for her I will be too.

Saturday, September 20, 2008

I am now allowed on facebook!!!

Between cleaning my house, listening to my husband freak out about his job via the nextel (he does this once a month, freak out that is), I have been on and off the computer.  I wanted some updated photos of my daughter so I tried to go onto her facebook, BUT I have to be invited...she told me I could be her friend and swipe picture just as long as I do NOT read anything she writes.  Ho hum, she's nearly 20, I really do not care what she writes about's her business.'s some pictures of the girl past and present...

show chorus Junior year...Liz is front left...

can't make this picture any bigger, but it's me, Liz and her girlfriend Monika, at Jeremy and Tracey's wedding...which was March 2004.

My girl now and her boyfriend Mike...the new Mike.  She and the old Mike still speak...which to me is an amazing thing, civilly.  I could never do that...I was always the vengeful type...I have the utmost respect for my kid.  My children are my best gift to this world.


I have never figured out how to put links on a journal tied to a picture so the above link is for a group called Soldiers' Angels.  This organization was recommended to me a while ago. I adopted a soldier and truly  feel the need to get the word out.  The other day I was sent a couple of emails from the group for the need for more people to adopt our soldiers.  When the political parties started bad mouthing the President for the war I knew I had to take some sort of action.  The war is a reality, agree or not, our men and women are still there fighting for our freedom.  It was the least I could do to help out.  It's not a big thing...a few cards a month...a care package here and there.  There's even an online store with prepackaged items that all you do is order & click your payment and off it goes.  Easy enough.  I was thrilled when I got an email AND a card of thanks from my soldier.  If you know a group such as a church, youth, scouts or such that would be willing to make this commitment just go to the link or go there yourself.  You will never regret it.

I try and remember that life is a process when I get bogged down by the daily ups and downs of life.  This week I have worked to at a least 6:30 every evening.  Mark worked the post office route again, a split shift ending at after 8 PM.  I am the type that can take a lot of stress, this week when I felt stressed out I took a walk...or took a nap.  The beauty of my job is I can take catnaps during layovers.  It's amazing how comfy a bus seat can be.  Or a walk in the neighborhood during sports trips.  Driving children in this crazy fast paced world is very stressful.  Especially since the honeymoon period is over and a couple of my kids on all of my routes are starting to push my rules.  The high school route only  one kid and he's easy enough to get into line.  The junior high route is a long a couple of busy highways with two stops that at least one car goes by my stop arm while my student is getting off the bus.  One crazy lady even tried to pass 2 cars behind me to pass on the right side.  The poor shocked kid could only scream STOP you stupid lady.  She did and from now on I move over as far as I can on the large shoulder.  People are nuts, they are getting to be more careless on the road too.  My grade school route is large from an upper middle class neighborhood, but they are very in to making the adults happy so they are easy to manage.

As for the stepson...things are getting worse, as a couple we have decided to see my favorite therapist to discuss an action plan.  I think the kid needs to be put out.  His actions are still out of control.  Mark thinks keeping the kid busy will help, but the kid is so used to conning that it's become a habit.  I think he should go to rehab, as he uses alcohol as an escape.  We shall see what my friend says.

Today is a day off, except for my evening of work with Mrs. H.  Tomorrow is going to be a gorgeous day and we have motorcycle fundraiser to go to.  We went last year.  It's for ovarian cancer research on behalf of a friend who died from the disease.  She started something special a few years ago and her husband has kept it going.

Now I need to attend to the dust in my living room...



Tuesday, September 16, 2008


We cannot choose our external circumstances, but we can always choose how we respond to them.

~ Epictetus Quotes from The Enchiridion


Thank you Mary for your entry.  Thanks for reading people & commenting.  More than anything I enjoy meeting new people. I started my journal back in 2004.  Anybody who thinks I have it together should read some of my old entries.  I was one scared much was happening back then...and I was full of fear. But over the years things have worked out.  I just did what I was taught, give up the power, do the next right thing and push forward.  Oh and work, my husband & I have worked our butts off to clean up the mess of our circumstances.  

I could have looked at things from the point of view of a victim..."these bad things happened to us...wah!"  But in reality stuff happens to everybody.  Death, job loss, divorce, kids getting arrested, crappy ex's...happens everyday to everybody.  I have found that it's all in how you look at things.  Every thing that I thought was a bad thing has always been used in my life.  And often things I used to think I wanted in life, even begged God for turned out to be not so good for me.  A job my husband really wanted ended up going out of business.  For years I wanted my stepson to move in with us, but ha ha he's here and 21 and it's not so fun...but he's here and now what am going to do about it?  Baby him like his mom?  no...he did come home, had a million excuses...I simply told him that I was sick of him using us...that nudged him into some sort of thought...we shall see how far.  He did mow the lawn today he needs to go look for a job...I don't need a handy man.

Now the grand babies...they came for a visit yesterday.  Dayton kept looking at me with his baby blues pointing at me and saying "grandma..."  batting his little eyes in a way only a two year old could stepson wants to rent the house next I said be careful what you wish for.  But I'll be baby heaven!

I knew things would change...they always do, better or worse, good or bad life always has it's surprises....& I am glad I am around to experience them!

Sunday, September 14, 2008

rain rain go away...

"Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else - you are the one who gets burned."
- The Buddha


Rain, rain and more rain...with or without Ike we have had steady rain for 3 days and nights.  Not as bad as 1995 when roads were impassible, but worse than last summer when the park next to the river was floated (flooded) as Jacob called it.   The rain gauge at Mrs. H apartment complex spilled over at 5 inches...

Things concerning our children are going downhill...haven't seen the grand kids, but once in weeks, the two little guys came over with their dad for a little bit...Dayton cried when they had to go, other grandma intercepts them before I youngest stepson got his cast off (he cut his tendons 5 weeks ago right before he came here) Friday, he left on the train to go back to where he used to live (ex girl <who put him in jail> friend's house ??)saying he was going to a friends and hasn't been heard from since.  Funny thing girlfriend hasn't called her normal 10 times a day...The weather has prevented Mark from working construction for 3 weeks.

BUT...what goes down MUST come up...I always always try and find the silver lining even in a downpour...the kids always need dependable Grandma Roses (as Dayton calls me), my stepson will do what he does until he gets sick of it or has to go back to jail...and there is plenty of work hauling mail for Mark...PLUS...I have sports trips every day after work...overtime...more than makes up for the losses...God provides, even in the midst of the storm.

And I finally made it to church today...did somebody call the minister and tell him I was coming?...because he sure was talking to me this morning...

Despite it all I am at = ) ! 

Saturday, September 13, 2008

Ike comes to Illinois

The rain started Thursday night and hasn't stopped yet.  They (the weather) says it's not even the worst yet...Ike will be heading up here tomorrow.  Northern Illinois already has 9 inches of rain. 

The two local high school teams played each other last night...the cross town challenge it's called.  Besides team buses, equipment buses, cheerleaders, student fans, cheerleaders, along with fans bused to another school because of limited parking.  I drove one of the four band buses...stood in the rain for an hour and watched the game until we sought refuge on one of our buses.  My school easily won.   My bus was saved the mud of the team as I had the drum section of the band and all they were was wet, happy and singing the 5 miles back to their own school. 

Today is more rain, and working with Mrs. H...

Thursday, September 11, 2008

finding recovery...

I was asked by a j-land friend to write about my recovery. My recovery ... something that is so part of me that I really don't think about it much as that...recovery. It's basically my life now, a way of living that I don't think I could change now even if I tried. The word recovery implies that some thing needs to be found or re found...for me it was finding me. I have always been a seeker...attention, my parents, friends, God, the unknown,...then men. But the loner in me pushed people away, or I clung to them. Growing up I was the spoiled, never wanting to go to school type, then one day age 12, I demanded my parents put me in private school or else...we moved. I was powerful...but the twist was I loved my new school, 8th grade was wonderful, I had friends, but still felt out of place. I lost 40 pounds of baby fat in high school, got good grades, was involved in school, drama club, pep club, I had a boyfriend my junior year, a tall boy who was two years younger than me. I wanted to be perfect, but felt like a freak...then I graduated, the boy moved, I got a job and went to junior college, then a friend took me to a bar...I met alcohol...I never ever was the same....

Alcohol was my friend, my best friend...after a few drinks I was no longer shy, quiet out of place...I was powerful...I never drank like a normal person. I got married on a dare, had two children because his mother told me to...then my world feel apart when my then husband accused me of cheating, (which was all in his head, I never cheated) some point during this time I crossed the imaginary line that all people who abuse substances crosses...the line where we lose the power of choice. I no longer could choose what would happen if I drank. There was no moderation. I divorced, moved into my parents home, had another child, crashed two cars, had a couple of very sad relationships and then the revolving door of recovery begun. It took over 4 years to finally stay stopped, I tried everything...self help books, church, prayer groups, yoga, meditation, 12 step programs, in and outpatient treatment, diet, exercise, moderation...I tried it all. In the end it came down to this...humbling myself and surrendering to something bigger than myself (for me God). I had no power...I needed help. Fortunately I got it, I took direction from sober people and thankfully after over 20 years I no longer use alcohol. I have the life I always wanted. Anything worth having takes time...and work....something I gladly do to keep the life I have...freedom ... what I have I freely give away...



Sunday, August 31, 2008

a working holiday

Mark and I both work on the weekends.  He hauling mail from the postal centers, me working for Mrs. H.  Nobody wants to work on Labor Day so I will be there Monday morning.  No big thing.  Mrs. H's age and experiences fill a void in me...I have no mother, and my mother in law is thousands of miles away...Mrs. H lets me know that the road ahead is sometimes hard, but "stay true to yourself and you'll be ok, kid".  Working for her is not hard, sometimes mentally, but I am tolerant, I think being 50 brings a bit of wisdom in itself, life's problems aren't such a big deal anymore.  I have no room to complain about my aches and pains around her, I am still very young.

Some of my stepsons are still going through some major issues right now, some happy, some not so, even tragic, major life altering.  I am sad, but as with looking at my own bumpy past I realize things always work out, our experiences either define us & we grow or fade away into our own cave of depression.  Through divorce, alcoholism, moves and job changes everything works out one way or the other.  For me, I have to know when to step in and when to shut my mouth.  I was very disappointed to find out that I wasn't able to have my grandsons on Friday night as planned.  Things happened, others interfered and I was overlooked, not even notified until I called to see what was going on.  I was angry at first, blew up, vented, then I realized that this as always was the way things were done when there was a crisis with these guys...I looked back at our past and saw this...but things always, always swung back ... back to norm.  

Took a deep breath, called my son, had Liz call her boyfriend and we'll be having our own picnic Monday.

The new school year started fine, my routes are great, nice children and I only made 2 kids cry!

As for my golf story...I was all set to have a couple hour trip which lasted much longer.  The very small team of 6 freshman were bused to a golf outing in a very upscale subdivision.  Even though every male in my family plays golf I have no clue as to how it's played.  When I dropped the boys off at the clubhouse coach told me they'd be done in 4 hours, instead it was 7.  Fortunately for me I love to walk and had money for an ice tea, which I had to pay for at the bar...a bus driver in a bar !!  The neighborhood was lovely, at least 1/2 a million dollar homes set up in rows with garages and alley ways in the back.  They had their own little town square complete with a store, dry cleaner and fire truck!

Mostly I admired the landscaping.  Very lovely, and colorful, with perfectly bright green grass.  Being it was a new development most of trees were young and short.  A sure sign of  new.   Many of the homes had various types of fencing, arbors, patios/porches/decks.  The yards were too small for swimming pools, maybe I missed the clubhouse which contained the 'town' pool.  One family even got adventurous and had 4 large tomato plants growing out back. 

Mostly Hummers, BMW's and higher end cars parked in the driveways.   The streets didn't have normal 4 way stops they had the fancy European circular 5 way stops.  Thankfully with stop signs rather than yields...which are scary for a bus driver as no one wants to be the one to yield! 

I think money most buy whatever it wants as one area even had palm trees growing...from the ground, not in pots...unheard of in Illinois!

It was a nice place to visit, but there is no place like home!  We have trees taller than 10 foot high!    Maybe in 20 years I'll visit again and see how far they've come!

Until then I'll enjoy the rest of my weekend and you do the same!



Saturday, August 23, 2008

let the school year begin...

Never regret. If it's good, it's wonderful. If it's bad, it's experience."
– Victoria Holt


The beginning of the school year is Wednesday.  For those of us in education it started roughly last week.  Meetings, route bidding, ID badge pictures, more meetings, whining, b*tching, and moaning...oh did I say that??!  I for one try very hard not to do the last three, ok, some whining...BUT for me I thank my lucky stars every day for my job.  It has a retirement, great insurance, many many days off, even weeks off.  They even figure out our pay so we get a pay check for the breaks for when the schools have off...

I was quite miffed by the reaction of some of my co-workers when they learned that some of us have to drive shuttle buses to the meetings that the whole district have to attend on Monday.  The meeting usually last an hour, tops.  We will be paid for the whole day, 6 hours.  Not only were they mad,   but some even refused to attend the manatory district wide meeting.  There will be probably 30 buses used to shuttle teachers from their various home schools to the larger high school for the meeting, this is to save parking, which is at a premium. 

AND the director had the nerve to start at the top of seniority to pick the drivers of these shuttles.  Good God how could he do such a thing???  Senior drivers should never be bothered to do such low some work.  I was just so excited to have so much seniority now that I got picked too.  Oh and we get paid for Tuesday which is a day off...and we do not even have to be at work!!

The attitude at work is really low, already..."be part of the solution ROSE" is my motto.

At least my routes look good.  I know the areas and I can usually tell how the kids will be.  I do have a high school route this year, haven't had one for at least 3 years. 

I never know how things will be until school starts...never can tell how the kids willbe, or worse the parents...

I did not pick an early childhood route, I do not want a monitor this year...I really want my job to my sane place this year, so I chose kindergartners to take to school and another one to take home.  I have seat belts,  these kids will be tied down, excited 5 year olds love to stand up.

My  life concerning my children is still up and down.  Dale, my stepson is still here, and a work in progress.  He still tries to BS my husband, but rarely does he get anything by me.  We are taking baby steps with him to help him learn some self discipline....he applied for some jobs last week, next getting his GED.  Actually, every day is a struggle to keep this guy from going back to his old ways, but he's 21, change is up to him.

Liz is signed up for junior college...she will work her job at Target during the day and go to school at night at a nearby hospital that houses classes for the college.    It's much closer than the college, a must for gas prices. I am overdue for a grand kids day, perhaps next week.

Last week I was so busy with extra work doing trips I though my head would spin...Tuesday I spent 8 hours at a golf course with 6 freshmen in a very upscale neighborhood.  I'll have to do an entry on that experience.

Until then...chin up, stay positive and always be grateful

Saturday, August 9, 2008

Being responsible

I like boredom & most days I love routine.  My summers are usually not routine as school is out and what routes I do have are short and only 1/2 day.  I did take the whole school district's administration group to a farm to do some sort of bounding class.  I didn't know this when I bid on the trip, but it ended up being fun.  They only requested one bus, but needed two so a driver I like also went.  A couple of the Asst Principals that I know were on and they all wanted to make sure I picked their schools.   I laughed and felt quite important then I realized they just like because I am good with naughty kids..

I seem to be so good that mine and /or Mark's kids keep coming back here to live.  His boy's mother (as Mark refers to his ex),was here Friday trying to give us their youngest Dale, who is nearly 22.  Dale is a semester short of graduating high school, blown countless good jobs, and has been in jail because of his hot head.  Dale lived here for a year when he was 17, I am sure I have that time period written somewhere in my archives of the journal, but why relive the past?  

They want him to come here to escape his problems.  I saw my boy's father today at my oldest son's baseball game (he plays adult league bball) He and his wife want my son Eric to quit Menards (he's depressed and drinking too much) move back to Illinois, live with them and they'll pay his bills until he gets another job.  This didn't work when he went to college, it didn't work when he lived 1/2 hour from them and it would not work now.  I wonder if they'd take Dale instead?

Enable...refusing to let the kids go through their experiences just like we all did...

Growing up comes by experiencing life...the good the bad and the ugly...

Experience the great teacher...

I'd never cheat them out of experience ... it's hard though when you are a mother, hard to stand back and watch, wait...

Thank God I have Mrs H.  Working for her has been a gift from God...her 95 years on this earth has let me know I can get through anything...and she gives advice freely.

Just as quickly my kids childhood sped by this part will go by fast...I am going to enjoy now.

My kids around 1990

My children now...

Saturday, August 2, 2008

old friends and the future

Mark graduated high school in 1973.  I, in 1975.  He was the jock, football player, ran track, on homecoming and prom court...he also was lead in all the high school musicals.  Me I was a very quiet girl who was once a very chubby girl, I was in plays, but never the lead, of course I was at every sporting event, I was even a bat girl/stat girl for the boys baseball teams.  I was never on any court, never voted anything likely to exceed, but I did earn National Honor Society.  I was a good girl.   Most likely in school we never spoke a word to each other.  Now look at us...our kids brought us together, they played youth football, and even the youngest ones knew each other before Mark and I "admired each other from afar" that summer in 1994.  (EEK! the 90's they seem so far away!)  Finally, fate or me following him after a out of town football game...had us meet up at the small burger shop...he told me about his 5 kids and child support, that didn't scare me off.   we saw each other at football practice and made a date....6 months later marriage. 

The other day a girl who graduated with Mark sent him an email from  She saw that he was coming to the reunion next month and wished she could attend so they could catch up.  Wonder if she thinks he's single and they could have one of those kind of catch ups.  Too late I had one of those kind of catch ups with him!  Most likely it's innocent, but who knows.  I am not worried, but I do love to tease my husband.

An old friend of Mark's, whom Mark named Matthew (his middle son) after is in town from Montana.   He wants to get together, he's even attending the church that my stepson Matt goes to tomorrow.  He went to our school.  It's always nice to see people from his or my past, catch up, we have history, maybe not together history, but same school, same town, same upbringing history.  We've even created history. 

I've listened to many of my close people around me tell me how worried they are about the future, how they want to plan this plan that.  Life really isn'tabout the plan,  we can make plans, but we really never can plan the outcome.  Nor should we, because sometimes life has different ideas about our future.  I never try to outguess my future, after all if somebody had told me in high school how my life would be right now, I would have laughed in their face.  8 kids, married to Mark, 3 grand kids, driving a school bus....But now?  I'd never ever trade it for the plans I made for myself way back then!

Who knows what my future holds??

Monday, July 28, 2008

Lookeeeeee another entry!


here I sit at my computer and another entry!  Wow! 

I am now free on Tuesdays and Thursdays as the grandkids are with Tracey's mom.  Last week I subbed a route on Tuesday and actually subbed my own route in the pm on Thursday.  My friend M (who shares my route with me) had to go to court for a stop arm violation.  A 16 year old ran her stop arm while her bus was stopped unloading a child.  Mom and monitor saw this, but M did not think to bring either as a witness.  Somebody (perhaps court appointed lawyer) told the kid to bring a witness and say that M was just 'visiting' with child's mom and that she should have pulled the stop sign in.  Judge bought the crap and let the kid go, dismissing her case.  BULL!  To me it's highly unlikely that a bus driver would take the time to blame some brat for passing her bus, let alone write it up, go to court and in M's case find somebody to watch her 7 year old son.  Makes me very angry at this judge.  Now little 16 year old thinks she can get away with doing breaking the law.   Probably the same kid that rear ended my car :)

I was able to see the boys Saturday night as my stepson Matt had a bag party (toss bean bags  into a hole in a board for competition).  I took them to the park as the party was small and not too exciting for me.

I am also filling in for a girl who works mornings for Mrs. H. on Tuesday and Thursday.  I enjoy my time with her as she is a wise wise lady plus the extra $$ is nice.

Some boy pics to make me smile...I miss them, but hopefully I'll have them over night sometime this week....



Saturday, July 26, 2008

all in a day's work...

On Wednesday night Mark and I took Liz to a car dealer of which we have known the finance guy for a long time.  He played football with our older boys and Tim bought his car there a few years ago.  Liz's old car, which I thought was a deal at $500, was a pile of junk with a rusted frame that was a death trap.  Fortunately for us scrap cars are big business and we had 3 different junk yards fighting over the little blue car.  She ended up with $250 which is awesome.  She also had some money saved.  She ended up with what she calls an "old people's car"   It's a Buick Century, in perfect shape, low miles and no rust.  Everything including the air conditioning power windows, stereo works.  It has new tires and muffler.  Plus the owner of the dealer took $2000 off the asking price.  I was very happy as it's time for her to have her own car.  She will driving the 20 minutes to Junior college in the fall, plus work, along with socializing.  So I am good.


Yesterday, I drove, along with 5 other buses, a school that house the park districts summer camp to Medieval Times.  This is about an hour ride involving two very busy toll ways.  One was under construction.  I was following another driver which is custom as we all try and go in at least pairs on long trips.  Suddenly there is activity in the back of my bus.  Seems little 4th grader has to pee.  She says so bad she's crying.  Nice.  So I say to head of group, "do you have any suggestions as where we find a bathroom???"  discussion between her and other leader (adults).  "can't you just turn off the toll way at Ogden avenue (busy area)"..."or how about Butterf (worse near a mall)" 

I veto both stating that I am in a 38 foot tube that is not a compact car.  I suggest another road 5 miles away, Leader freaks.  "but the girls is crying!!"   I finally turn off a mile after busy mall exit.  We find a gas station and of course the whole dang bus tries to unload.  NOPE I say.

Although I do allow one boy to go on the car wash wall.  Girl and Leader take 10 minutes as whomever was in the bathroom would not come out after many knocks.

My partner leaves me as I am taking to long.  He gets lost.  I do not.  We make it in time for the knights to introduce themselves.  I sat next to a kid I knew a couple of years ago, we have fun.  But our red knight lost.

On the way home I follow my buddy the trainer.  The other guy who wanted me to follow him broke down.  I made it home in time to catch my husband using the chain saw on some ugly bushes that we have had growing next to our garage.

Today we are attending a picnic at Matt's house (my middle stepson).   His wife Brandy is a teacher, so many teacher's attend.  It's always interesting conversation.




Thursday, July 24, 2008

just wondering

I am home, ALONE!  Most of the day I've been alone.  I've had some time to think, ponder, cruise j-land.  And wonder.  Why do people stay married?

This lovely couple is me and the Mr...April 1st 1995.  Many gray hairs ago...I would have fixed the color but my computer is ticking me off, plus I have to go to my Bus permit refresher class in an hour. 

I've had two very close people that I love dearly decide to end their marriages.  Why?  They have their reasons, because I love them I won't talk about it in specifics.  But both used the words, " I (they) aren't in love anymore"   I asked a girl at work today, who's been married over 20 years, if there were days she wasn't "in love" with her husband ...she gave me that smile...I understood.  Somedays the line between love and hate is a slim one...but the brave stay and work it out...we love them and we stay until we like them again.

Why do people end their marriages?  Maybe like my first marriage... I had no business being married to this man...maybe that's why people stop trying.  And it is an effort to be married.  Some times a big effort.  I asked my husband the other day why we are still happily married after 13 years, so many kids, job changes, deaths, births, big changes...he said because we try...we try and we're friends first.

We make the effort, we communicate, we respect each other.  Sure we have fights, God when we first married we had some loud fights...but now?  Nah, we respect each other too much to do that.  

  around 1998

This picture is one of the few professional ones we have had taken.  This was a time when Mark traveled 3 weeks out every month for the railroad.  I used to say he would come home to visit :::wink wink:::

I was working at the newspaper delivering over 600 newspapers a day, every day.  I had 5 sometimes 7 kids living with me, from at 8 to 16 years old  My mother was just diagnosis with cancer.  This was tough times back then, but look at us, we look happy.  We still are happy. 

I've always believed what does not kill you will make you stronger.  I believe if you but God in the center of your life things work out for the best.  You get knocked down you get back up.

I have become the woman I am from my experiences...and I am a lucky woman to have a man I love right by my side...for better for worse...

Still going strong...

Friday, July 18, 2008

I started an entry I think it was last week, but it disappeared.  My old computer turned off.  But brighter days are ahead, my son gave me his computer.  It's a nearly new Dell, with an all clean hard drive!  I am so happy.  He'll be over next week to help me set it up.  I know how to set up computers, but his is wireless and I'd rather have him here, it'll shorten the swearing time.  = )

The past few weeks have been one drama after another. A close friend and a family member are both having very bad marriage problems ::my marriage is actually better than ever::: I  try and listen, but there are no easy answers.  My town has had some very scary events happen.  A teenage boy drowned in the Fox river a block from my house.  The river was so fast that it took the divers 2 two days to catch up with him down stream at a dam.  A 3 year old boy on my route went missing and wasn't found for 12 hours.  Thank God he was unharmed.   A 16 year old new driver  rear ended my car while Liz was driving.  I pried the bolts to her front plate out of my back bumper...I only have one payment left on the stinking car, thank you.  No one was hurt and I can live with a scrapped bumper. 

Work is slow for Mark, but he still has his weekend job, I have my weekend job and I have picked up a trip or two along with my part time summer school route.  We are making it just fine.  My stepson (he's 28) is now paying rent, not much but it'll cover some bills.  I've learned that life is too short to worry about the little stuff.  Go to work, do what you can today, and enjoy.

Liz is now happily moving on from Mike.  They are now good friends & talk often.  Thank God she is NOT vengeful like I used to be.  She is now hanging around a childhood friend.  They both are involved in summer theater so they have much in common.  I told her have fun and take her sense in a rebound boyfriend.   She has much going for her and I want her to enjoy being 19, she seems to be. 

The grand kids are great.  Dayton will be 2 on Sunday.  He is much easier to deal with now that he can talk and be understood.\

Jacob's Birthday party was early this month...he's now 5. Jacob's birthday! 

some friends...& the three grand kids...Dayton, Dakota, and Jacob having a pirate birthday

I am loving this summer!!



Saturday, July 5, 2008

a mother never retires...

Been a busy summer...seems I've been wearing the mother/grandmother hat more than I ever did when the kids were young.  Don't let anyone tell you that your job is done when they grow way.  You just have to listen more, you still get to hug them, kiss them, throw in a few "it'll be ok" but dang it you gotta suck it up and let them go...

I got a call this past Wednesday while I was sitting on my friend's bus during a field trip, my boy's step mom called telling me my boy's grandfather had passed.  My ex's father had been ill a long time and everybody knew it was just a matter of time.  She had told Eric, my 23 year old soon, who had just recently been transferred to Ohio that grandpa was gone. This is the same kid who has been working 92 hour weeks (is there even 90 hours in a week??!!) opening a new Menard's store.  She told me he was silent, she was worried about him, she said, "Rose you call him, you have a way with him". God I hope so he's my kid!  I was a bit worried too, only because my son Eric is a "stuffer", he loves to go merrily along in life doing his thing, working, playing, living life and shoving the unpleasant things down, not dealing with them until the inevitable explosion.  I called, he sobbed and we talked.  I told him how proud I was of him, how hard it was to do what he was doing, being away, working unGodly hours, and how grandpa who himself was not a showy person would want him to stay put.  Grandpa was not having a service. 

Mark and I drove the 5 hours to see him Friday morning.  The kid needed us.  We spent the night,  he worked until 8 even though the store closed (the 4th of July holiday) at 6.  We went out, we met some new friends of his, we saw fireworks.  Today we had breakfast and he wentback to work, to work another 12 hour day.   I know tonight he will go out with some of his new friends, probably drink too many beers, and tomorrow he'll get up and do it again.

I worry about all my children, some days more than others.  I remember how I was when I was 23, 26 or even 32 like my oldest stepson Jeremy.  I think of how everything I went through in life made me who I am today.  I would never cheat any of my children the experience of living their life's by trying to tell them what to do, but I sure can be there to hug them, kiss them and tell them that everything is going to ok.  Oh yeah trust God that He has an eye on them too.  After all, we mom's can't be everywhere, right?

Menard's, Celina, Ohio



Tuesday, June 17, 2008

boys and bikes...

Little Dayton a couple of weeks ago .... look at his mouth ... he's  making motorcycle noises....

Jacob is so proud of his new bike...complete with flames!

Dakota in his own little world.

Summer break has been wonderful!   It's a nice balance of off time and work time. 

On Tuesdays and Thursdays I watch the kids and so far it's been at their house.  Liz's car we got her ended up needing a lot of body work, so much so that it's basically junk.  We will call one of the many salvage dealers in the newspaper and have it hauled away.  She has been very busy with work (saving for another car) and then right afterward she goes to play practice.  She has been using my car, so some days I ride my bike the mile to the kids house to baby sit.  Dakota loves the park, and every time I come over he tries to convince me to take them there.  It's too long a walk for them and crossing a busy highway with 3 boys under 4 would be a nightmare.  His solution?  "grandma why can't you just put Dayton on your shoulders and me, you and Jacob can ride the bikes to the park!"

Funny boy.  Liz's afternoon practice is over this week.  I will have my car back and Dakota can have his park back.  Plus I'd love to take them to the local pool, museum, library, all the fun stuff summers are made of!  And I get to enjoy them with my grand babies!



Wednesday, June 11, 2008

fourth try

For some unknown reason...I can't seem to post an entry.  Either my computer, dsl, AOL, or perhaps the fairies that hide in my house do something to zap my entry.  Poof gone!

I will give my update short and sweet---->

school is over!  it's been overly hot, rainy, I got my garden in, Mark's working, I am working on Friday for a trip.   Liz is busy with work, and her plays so she has no time to be sad over the boyfriend.   The grand kids are great, the 2 year old is a hand full but that's normal.  My stepson is out of jail, but will probably be back, has no clue that he is the problem.

Eric got transferred to Ohio, from Wisconsin, a move up in the Menard's corporate ladder.  He's actually closer to here now. 

I have started a cardio kickboxing class that is only 2 dollars a time/or 15 dollars for 10 times.  It's in a huge gym with no air conditioning, and about 100 mostly woman.  It's really is a great stress reliever.

I have decided that no one but ME can take care of ME!!

so glad I'll be around more!

summer time and the livings easy!!


Tuesday, June 3, 2008

one and half more days....

Give me  two more days and I"ll be back!!   School's out Thursday and my summer route doesn't start until July 8th.   Over a month of being a part timer!!!   Blogger heaven!!

Friday, May 16, 2008

my space & only 13 days left of school

D (lighting matches boy who wears his girl friend or his sister's pants to school) -- "hey bus driver!  Are you on my space??" 

me --  "oh God no D!  that, my friend would get me fired"

A couple of days ago a driver called over our 2 way radio that a junior lad near her route had fallen off his bike on his face right on the sidewalk.   His face was a bloody mess, too, according to her lengthy report.  Her route is near mine, and I thought nothing of it, as some drivers tend to exaggerate, do commentaries on the comings and goings of the world, etc.

Until today.  A student comes on the bus at my first stop and says, "bus driver don't look at J face!"

You guessed it, J was face plant boy.  One of my more polite riders too.  Poor kid's face was a mess, he chipped two teeth, and both his arms were wrapped up.  All I could say was "Man J your face is ... AWESOME!!"  Sure threw those kids off guard, they surely expected me to be grossed out or have some sort or kind reaction.  Not me, Mrs H always says I am brave because I have 8 kids.  Brave or nuts...

Oh and they glued J's teeth back on, can hardly tell...

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Parenting part 2

Before I began I would like to thank you, my friends for the kind words you had to say about me regarding the children I am in charge of every day.  I appreciate the sweet words and this week especially I have had to rerun those very words in my head many times through out the will be out in 3 short weeks and it seems the free for all has  begun. 

Here are some examples of my day:  "Bus driver there's a lighter in the back of the bus!!!".  me:  "is the bus on fire?"  "well no."  ok then things are fine.  ...

I think the lighter which was wedged behind the seat has been there for weeks, just now being discovered. 

more..."bus driver, can I change seats?"  "no."  this rule has been in place since September 1st, 2007.  "then can I open the window?" "bus driver, E has her window below the line!!"

and from skateboarder kid who hangs out in my neighborhood, "bus driver lady, do you life on M street?"   me, "maybe"

and more...I come in after a long morning ready to head home for my one and only break already picturing the scrambled eggs I am going to eat.  ~my boss, "we need 4 drivers to head to LC school ... 200 kindergartners need to go to Blackberry Farm and they/someone forgot to order buses"..."Rose, you go" eggs for me (fortunately my monitor Julie, who loves me & cooks wonderful meals brought me some veggie chili, so I did not starve)

kindergartners who have never ridden a bus as they are walkers..."bus driver we're scared. " (you haven't seen scared kid!)  "  Hey, hey why are going 35 that's fast!" (stop looking over my shoulder kid!)  I was a good girl and humored them, that and the parents who were in charge.  Teacher was young, blond and a cutie, no where near being burned out, yet.

The trip was only 15 minutes and they were ever so grateful, and the chili was awesome!

On a lighter note the two children that had me so worried are doing better, one got some outside help and the other has calmed down and only spits at me once in a while this after saying "I love you mommy"


My own life is fine.  Daughter has talked to ex-boyfriend and they will remain friends, but will call off the future they had tried to plan.  For the best she's too young to hang around waiting for a boy who spends most of his life 6 hours away at college.  She'll cry for a while but she's my hero and she's brave and good and beautiful, she'll be better for this.

My stepson who is in jail is getting help for his temper there so maybe this stay will not be for not.  Hope so.  He's a very talented, cool kid who is wasting his time on being angry at things that happened way too long ago, at people who do not deserve his rage.  Time to move on.

I am not as perfect as I try to say I am .  I have a 28 year old stepson who moved in with us in November of 2006.  Bad luck and some bad decisions caused him to come back home.  Mark and I need to work on pushing him  along in being more responsible.  He does contribute money wise when asked, he has a heart of gold, but there of course issues.  Oh and he's never been jail.

We all have them though, in all families big & small the world is full of issues.  I just try to do my best each day, and when tomorrow comes start all over again. 

I am tired of all the drama, struggling and junk I have no control over.  I need some fun!  Mark is working two jobs until the weather driesup and I have my one and 1/2 jobs.  Our birthdays are early this summer so I vote we take a mini vacation over a weekend and just go away.  What do you all think?? 

I vote yes!

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

parenting 101

I had a big entry all written, but to honor my dear daughter Liz's privacy I will only say this...last night her boyfriend of four years broke up with her.  Seems he had some issues with the direction of their respective life's.  The wording was not his, someone coached him.  I have my own opinion, and a short list of butts I'd like to kick, but I am a patient soul, I can wait for her tears to stop flowing.   She's true to being an only girl in a family of 8, she's already at the angry stage...the grieving process works quick in this family.  Years of therapy sure comes in handy in times like these.  She has a summer full of work and a theater group.  Best to find these things out now before anymore time passes.   Her broken heart will heal, I know this, but I hope her faith in the opposite sex isn't  marred.

I also heard from a certain 4 year old that one of my husband's sons is being housed in a certain county facility (jail).  This particular son has issues with his temper that have never been resolved.  He's made a habit of this and I believe this is his second such stay.  My husband made some calls and will be visiting him Saturday to hear his side of the story.  I  have had to remind my husband that if it was one of my kids in trouble I would not be enabling them to continue a life of crime, by offering money or bail.  I have my hands full with the drinking issue with my two boys, thank you God Liz is very anti drinking.  Thankfully, so far they both stay out from behind the wheel of a car and bar fights. I believe in tough love.  I figure if you're over 21 and you get into trouble you can get your own self out.

 I suppose in life everything  can be put into perceptive, today while I was sighing over my own children another driver told me she thought her only son was living in his car.  At least that's what he was telling her.  Such a life is a parent. 

There are days though that I  feel as though I have dodged a bullet, as I was an awful child and into my 20's & even my early 30's I was giving my parents a bitch of a time.  My mother always swore I'd get paid back.  Fortunately I believe in Karma and the Golden rule, I have tried to make up for my the blow sure seems light.

Hopefully....but then again there's always grand never know who may end at my doorstep suitcase in hand!!




Saturday, May 10, 2008

lilacs...spring...and babies...

this has been a tough week...I feel like there are days I truly fear for the state of our children...this week while tough brought plenty of smiles and down right pleasant moments from my life as a bus driver.   A couple of my charges are having such a rough go at life that I wish I could scoop them up and bring them home and be their everything.  But I am only one woman.  My husband gets irritated with me, as I am always looking out for the strays of the world.  I try, but it's just so damn hard some days.

Thank God for bringing us a wonderful, beautiful spring this year.   Every single tree, brush and bush that flowers is in full bright bloom.  And the blooms are hanging in there.

Seeing natures bounty brings me a ray of hope.

I love lilacs and my bush actually bloomed this year!

while these aren't mine, I took them from a neighbor whose bush was loaded, mine are slowing each year getting more blooms.

My bright spot over the past few weeks has been these three, they never let me down in the appreciation area.

An old pool and a few bags of sand...magic!




Wednesday, April 30, 2008

giving back...

First off I feel so bad that I have not been on my computer.  I am not being a very good online friend as I have neglected this place.  Life has kept me away.  Heck I even missed an email from my son Tim regarding his need for our help moving.  Must not have needed me too bad or he would have called, after all, I do have a land line, cell phone and text messaging.  Perhaps if I had a desk job with a computer I could check my email more often, BUT I'd miss so much of the outside world.  Wandering the neighborhoods in a yellow school bus is sometimes quite exciting.  As for you my friends I will be making the rounds ASAP!


Some new news.  My stepson and dil (the grand kids parents) have bought a home.  It's less than a mile from us over the river but not through some woods (:)).  It's close and since I am now the most requested grandma I am sure I will have plenty of visitors 'popping' by.  Especially since grandma has a park and a sandbox.


I was brought to tears by an email from my adopted solider this morning.  No matter how you feel about the war I am hoping everybody feels we must support our troops.  is an organization that is a wonderful way for us to show our love and support to our men and women who are overseas serving our country.  I never expected an email from this man and here it was.  He was grateful and appreciative of the time and effort I took to send him a few cards and packages over the past months.  So little for the much he is doing. 

This email made my day!

see you soon!

Friday, April 18, 2008

Shaky wake up!

My husband works overnights.  My daughter Liz and stepson Jim live with us.  All the bedrooms are upstairs, mine in the path of the stairs so I hear all the wanderings of the night.  Often I awake to the sounds of the night.  Around 4:30 this morning I wake up to the pulls on my dresser rattling.  First I thought it was my husband stopping by in the semi from work, no, then a train?, my bed shakes, my ears start ringing....hmmm, then nothing.  I hear a door outside slam, neighbors...I note the time go back to sleep.  At 6:00 I am up, I must of felt an earthquake, put on the news, yep!  Sure enough!  Down state in southern Illinois there is a fault line, way down deep so when it shakes we really only feel it, rarely any damage.  Even in the nearby towns minor stuff.  Not like the California quakes, this one was a 5.2.

Such excitement for a Friday.

Otherwise we are all well.  The weather has finally become spring like, with it's winds and mild temperatures of nearly 70.  I've been walking a lot.  Yesterday after seeing the gas prices at $3.55, I walked to work.  This weekend the Huffy is coming down and checked over for leaky tires.  I am not giving the oil companies any more than I have to.  Going to bike the mile to work.

Last weekend the kids were here again as I had Friday off.  We went to a nearby Park that also has a small zoo attached.  Dakota got to pet a snake, or nake has he calls them.  3 year old talk is so cute.   The zoo had cougars, crocs, turtles and peacocks.  The kids mostly loved the play ground, school in this town was in so we had the place to ourselves.

Dakota, Jacob and Dayton.

This weekend is yard work.  Sunday promises to be sunny and I have loads to catch up on.  The buds are just now appearing.  Hopefully mother nature will let us enjoy a little of spring before the hot and humid summer appears!


Have a great weekend!

Sunday, April 6, 2008

babies! oh and sunshine! OH and it's 65 degrees!



Dayton --- 20 months

The kids missed grandma so they came over this afternoon and spent the night.  The day was glorious sunshine and warm.  They have gotten so big!  We had a great day.  They were so wore out that Dayton went to sleep and 6:30 and slept until 7:00 this morning!! Today we headed to the river park...Jacob is at the age where he loves to chase other boys, girls are just too much for him.  Dakota is still pretty much plays by himself and Dayton runs around or observes everybody else.  He is talking up a storm.

We came back to a huge lunch and then Tracey came and got them.  Bet they took a good nap this afternoon!


My Jacob he'll be 5 in June!


Dakota 2 1/2


Thursday, April 3, 2008

quiet ... just like I like it...

I am a worrier.  In my youth I had horrid stomach aches, missed school, and made myself sick with my imagination and my perceived boogie man.  I have gone to great lengths to slay the fear, but some habits are hard to break and now a days I look at such fears as problems to be solved and I love the buzz of solving them.  After all, rarely does life work out like our minds fear.  As of late Mark and I have been more proactive in our work area.  We both (me first, then him) have realized that his line of work-- construction is in a very low point...may be for some time.  He gets laid off every winter.  Usually, unemployment gets us through.  This year we realized that the winter layoff last season really didn't go away until nearly July.  Very scary for a couple who have raised most of their clan and are digging out of debt.  Actually scary for anyone who lives in this place we call the USA. 

Fortunately for us Mark is a very good truck driver.  He was rehired by a company that let him do winter work a few years ago when he wasn't able to get unemployment, as we were self employed for that quarter.  Thank God he did this as the company he usually works for is not even begun to work.  Usually by early March they are back. There was rumors, of work for next week, but it's been raining, the ground is still frozen.  I even noticed that the chain stores have just now put in their Pansies, a flower that is normally planted weeks ago.  The trees still have yet to bud and everyone's moods brighten when the sun stays out longer than a few hours.  Today we actually reached 50 degrees.  It's going to be a very slow, late construction year.  Some aren't even being called back.

Back to my worries.  I don't have any ... none, the main lifestyle bills are paid.  There's gas in the car, food in the fridge, the pets have food...I have no worries.  Even work is good, the school kids are behaving after my sick day they still have an appreciation for me.

Mark has a good job that works fine for us. If he goes back to construction there's talk he may work both jobs ... a big plus.

There are some rumors of my job in transportation not being renewed, but that's over a year away, next contract and I never worry that far in advanced.  I tend to be a right now worrier...

Not today....I am feeling better, I have extra work next week, and even have a no school day next Friday (paid).   The weekend weather report calls for sun, I have leaves to bag, something I enjoy.  Maybe there's some tulips under there somewhere.  Spring means renewed hope...and hopefully warmth...God I can't wait to be warm!

April first was my 13th wedding anniversary.   My marriage is good too.  My son is taking us out to dinner Monday.

Isn't life grand!!???

Saturday, March 29, 2008

back to the world of the living...

I am finally feeling like there is a light at the end of this sickness tunnel.  While I still wasn't 100 % I still went and worked for Mrs H this past week.  Her morning help went on vacation so Julie and I split the week.  She was grateful and so was I for th extra money.

I had such big plans for spring break, cleaning, throwing the windows open and washing the winter off my screens, but the temperature has hovered around 40 and we actually had snow Thursday.  There's plenty of time for spring clean up.  I mostly rested, tried to keep up on the daily stuff and tried to eat.  Everything still tastes like metal.  Oh and I went out to lunch with two friends from work.   Bakers square tasted bad too, should've had the pie.

Being home all week let me experience all the wonders of my changing neighborhood.  I live in an old neighborhood with old homes that many have become rentals.  All the houses except one surrounding me are rentals.  Nothing against renters, but I've found over the years it's hit or miss with them.  A few years ago we had one doozy next door that locked their dogs in the house over the weekend and left.  The poor animals went crazy and broke all the windows out of the upstairs bedrooms and ran on the roof barking their poor heads off.  This couple died in a car accident.   I felt bad for that.  After them a nice family moved in, but the landlord did not keep the house up and now it is empty until he can do some major repairs.

We have always had trouble with the neighbors across the street.   Too many adult kids who have kids.  They tear up our lawn with all their cars and  the young  mom of the 3 little boys loves to scream at her kids.  I thinks she just doesn't know any better.  One time the cops brought the 4 year old home as he wandered away one morning.  I thought things would be quiet now that that couple and their children moved to a different rental down the street.  No way, just as I was getting over having a coughing fit last night around 3 am Iheard yelling and banging.   The kids who are adults that are still living there were having a fight.  By the time I figured out how to call the non emergency number to the police (this after calling the fire department and waking up a nice fireman) the fight stopped and they went to bed.

There's two houses across the street from me that are empty.  One the girl moved in with her boyfriend and the other the lady over extended her mortgage and lost her home.  One has a for sale sign the other is for rent.  Should be an interesting summer....

Guess the housing crisis hits everywhere. 

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

did you get the name of the freight train?

famous last words....I never get sick...blah!  Over a week ago on a Sunday afternoon I felt the first signs of a sore throat, then tired, then by Tuesday afternoon I was in the grips of the shakes that go with a fever of 103.  I managed to get through my afternoon route, barely.  Call off work Wednesday, came in Thursday as it was the last day before spring break, heard all the complaints, the sub was mean, she called Danny a girl, she drove right by us, blah blah, can't you kids see bus driver is dying here??!

J (7th grader) tells me he's going to Florida for break, he's the one who loves to swear and give anatomy lessons on the male species...Good look up my dad while you're there bet he's not afraid to wash you mouth out with a good sturdy bar of soap.

I barely remember Friday, or the weekend.  Mostly a Vicks, filled stupor trying to stay warm.  Oh and did I mention the coughing?  Fits of it, just as I get all comfy in my warm bed.  Cough Cough Cough

Today is what Wednesday?   Throat better, chills gone, fever gone, now my sinus feel like they are full of some alien ooze.   Great.

I get online and my email box has been full since Monday.

My father did call me on Easter telling me he's been sick too, three weeks worth.  Wonderful, I've been sick for 1 and half...he lost 18 pounds.  Me so far, 10.

Guess Hubby's not as big a sissy as I thought!

Saturday, March 15, 2008

Is it spring yet?

A busy week with work,  grand kids, and a household to keep up with.  Mark has been sick and his sickness has draaaaaaaaaaagggggggggged to the point where all he does is sleep, go to work and stare blankly at the TV.  I have tried to be patient, I rarely get sick and when I do I do generally try and ignore it and go on, usually with only a trace of whining.  Because of this the household has fallen on me, even the smallest tasks, like dishes I have had to deal with.

Because my husband has been of no use and pretty much in his own world I have ignored him and gone about my own business.  The weather has been warm and sunny so I have taken advantage of it by taking long walks in the evening.  Thursday night my stepson told us about a car that was for sale in his subdivision.  Liz's  father gave her some money that could go to a car, this after she told him Mark would match what he gave her.  Her timing perfect, tax time so he had some money.  He has been neglectful over the years, I do not feel any shame in her asking him for money.  The time has come for him to support his kid.

Liz and I took a look at the car, it is old but it is a type that I have had a couple of in the past.  It is small but sturdy, good mileage and this one was in our budget.  It did not leak oil, ran great, but smelled like an ashtray.  The car belonged to an uncle of the seller who had suddenly died.  We gave the kid our number and name and went home to wait, seems the seller had to discuss the matter with his sister.  He immediately called me to ask me if I was related to my stepson as he had gone to school with my sons.  I said "yes, I am the mom" and he told me if I brought the money that evening I could have the car for $200 less then asking price.  Oh course I agreed.  Liz is now a proud owner of a 1990 Plymouth Horizon.  The car has it's flaws, a little rust, the door handles need replacing, but she runs great and for 500 bucks she will be a great first car for a girl who has only been driving under a year.  Now I can sigh a huge relief,I no longer have to worry about my own car, which will be paid off in 4 short months. 

I am trying very hard to not the let the stress of what my household has become get to me.  Spring is upon us, they will all go back to work soon and I do enjoy having the grand kids come here a couple of times a week.  Dakota and Jacob love my bus driver stories and they look at me wide eyed when I tell them the latest antics.  Speaking of that I inherited a stop near my own route as the bus driver there got into a fight with a parent.  I know the children and they can be quite a hand full, as matter of fact I drove them two years ago.  They have blended in fine with my group.  I just let them know who's boss but with  a sense of humor and I usually know who to seat my kids.  Usually....

Enough of that, this too shall pass, my husband will snap out of his funk, the sun will shine, the plants will grow, it will motorcycle season soon, and all this stress will be a distant memory.