ugh aol stinks! PS I stink as a mom!

I worked  this morning...ran the swim shuttle, which is the day care kids daily outing.  So..........I get home tonight, hop on the computer ... no journal alerts??!!!  in my in box....urg!!  HUMPH!

AOL=irony...no wonder the news reports that AOL is giving away free highspeed...gotta love 'em

So...........tomorrow I will be going to my favorites and looking in on you all...til then...

UPDATE:  it's the next day and AOL was bad yesterday to everybody, not just me...which brings me to my sucking as a mother...at least for today...

My stepson Dale is a problem child, he's 19 years old, never graduated high school, drinks, gets into fights, goes to jail, etc.  He lived with us for a time, but didn't like the rules so he want back to the safety of his "do whatever you want to mom", whatever.  Last night Liz shows me his myspace site.  I don't go to myspace normally because my kid goes there so I figured I'd give her privacy.  Besides, it's enough work to maintain this journal...(I am attached to you all!).  On his info section, he put his most painful memory was of his parents break up...and he wished they were still together.  GOOD GOD folks this happened when he was 6!  I know it was sad, I know it was painful.  My husband and his ex fought all the time, I know how he is with me...add alcohol and bam!  up in flames I am sure.  I know his ex is...irresponsible, she loves to hang up on him when she doesn't like what my hubby is saying, you know immature stuff.  So they did NOT have a marriage made in heaven, or a family life, either.  If I got all psychological about it, I am sure my stepson just misses the idea of the intact family.  Ok, his comments in his journal made me feel bad, not for me but for him.  Let go for God sake!  Be spiteful and despite your past rise above and do something with your life!  Like the rest of the brothers!

Ok, got up this morning all set to accomplish a list of items.  First off get Liz's permit renewed, her's expired so she had to get it renewed so off we drove the 20 miles to the DMV.  I didn't bring her social security card, or birth certificate, so we were turned away, ok cool, I was close to our trailer so I went and opened that up...we are staying this weekend, may as well use their A/C, their lake, and since the kids are close see the babies and swim.  Great...then we had  to stop at Liz's school and try and buy last years yearbook, they always give them out a year after the school year, no can do...I suck as a parent, I should have taken care of this a long time ago.  Had to put her on a waiting list.  Then we go to Target, Liz put in an application Wednesday, they are only hiring the 4 am to 11 shift, which she said she'd love (no human contact involved) but she needs to be 18 she won't be until October....plus the service desk ladies were so rude I felt like saying something, but I was a good girl.  She can go back when it closer to time for the college kids to go back to school.  Bet she gets a bunch of offers by then.

I could go on...my husband is a crab because where he's working today he has to go through an area that got 5 inches of rain last night and the roads fell in...nice...Oh yeah and it's hot...

Oh well, it could be worse...it could be Monday

 

Have an awesome weekend!  I am going fishin'

 

almost computer-less

... thanks everyone for the comments...for me, personally I will throw out rants, negativity all over the place, even here.  But yesterday was the type of day that if I got on the downer-train I would have crash landed.  Hubby was on it, some stuff beyond our control, ongoing normal stress that everyone goes through and I really didn't want to start my day being upset...so I made the choice to stay positive.  Trust me on this one I can get as b*tchy as the next gal!

So on to my day, Mark has been bugging me about Liz getting a job.  It's now the end of July and she has made a feeble attempt to get a one.  She doesn't drive yet, but we live very close to many retail store, restaurants, etc.  She wants to go to a concert on Sunday with her b/f Mike so I told her to make an effort to get a job.  She doesn't have to make it a career, just a little part time job.  She is required to walk our dog, plus she is taking care of a cat for a family that his been away.  Oh yeah and our yard too, she mows that.  Our yard is dinky, takes 20 minutes tops to mow.  She did all that yesterday.  Plus applied at Dominicks, which hires everybody.  Yesterday she even had time to hang out with her girlfriends which she needed to do as she neglects them for the b/f. 

In the meantime my old computer kicked me off, I have a bad driver and I knew this old friend will someday need to retire, but I keep things until they break, why toss something that still works??  Even though it's slow and turns off at will.  It did it's thing, and when I turned it off it would not come back on.  Just stayed stuck, with poor j-land-less Rose staring at a blank screen.  So I figured I'd let it cool of, tried a few more times, it wouldn't work.  Decided to leave it until today.  Turned it on this morning...nothing...so I tried the old tried and true method...I give the tower a bang...viola' the screen comes on! 

Lesson?  If all else fails get a bigger hammer!

being positive

I had a entry all written out, it was about how am feeling today, and quite negative.  I cancelled it, on purpose.  My believe is that what you put out there, positive or negative to the universe is what you get back.  I do not want a negative journal entry hanging over my head, my day, my week, no way!  So today I am going to be grateful, I am grateful, I am thankful that for today, this 24 hours I have what I need.  A roof over my head, power, a husband, who is working, food, my family, a job to go to, & freedom.  I have love in my life.  And I have this because of a loving God who has protected me over my crazy self.  Life is good.  'nough said.

MY KID< MY MIRACLE!>

Saturday...time for bike riding!

Since it rained most of the past few days, Mark did not have work.  He also got the call from work that he needed to go in to the clinic for a random drug test.  Which is fine, we went, but they don't do them on Saturdays so he will go back on Monday.  My work does them too, I think it's a great thing.  This world doesn't need stoned or drunk CDL drivers on the road. 

Later we road over to my brother's house and they were finally home.  The older kids are always busy.  Their son Rylan  is getting big.  My sister in law even handed him off to me to hold.  He is now 5 months old but he's a wee one because he was born so premature.  But he's getting caught up, looks happy and that's what matters the most.  A review here, back in February my brother and his wife had a set of twins who were born at 31 weeks, one did not make it.  His name was Tyson.  It was a sad thing, very sad.  But the remaining twin has always been a healthy little fighter.

This is my brother Ken and Rylan

Tonight she talked a lot about the baby that died, Tyson, but she seems to be working through it.  She has two older kids from her first marriage, the twins are my brothers.  Her daughter who is 7 wants to plant a tree in rembrance at their house, which is a good thing.  My sil's aunt had some how gotten a hand print of Tyson and had it made into a small charm that my sil wears around her neck.  I cannot even imagine how this woman feels.  Such a hard thing.  But she tells me it's the little things that help her grieve.

They are as busy as ever, the oldest son with baseball, and the daughter with cheerleading.  My brother is only a year younger than me, here I am loving life and nearly free of children's activities and he's just beginning.  WOW!  Hopefully he will stay healthy or he'll need a walker for his son's graduation!

 

 

 

ANNOUNCEMENT!

   <--------I got to hold a brand new one of these 2 night!

Yep, my brand new baby grandson came into the world at 7:20 this morning!

His name is Dayton Arthur!  He weighed 7 pounds 13 ounce and is 18 inches.

TONS of black hair!  He looks like his beautiful momma!  I even remembered to

take pictures!

 

Yesterday Mark told Jeremy to go to the Walgreens and get some Castor Oil, told him to hand it to his wife and have her drink it, surely THAT would put her into labor.  6 hours later at 2 am she went into labor. Whoa the old tried and true method!

Of course where was grandma Rose???  At work of course!  Humph!  I got the desperate call at 5:45 am from my base, so as I was leaving to cover an all day out of district route, Mark got the call to stay home, because of the huge lightening storms. 

After my drop at the school, I called him and he gave me the long awaited news!

I also found out that we don't start any training until the middle of next month, so I can help Tracey and enjoy a month more of summertime bliss!

Ok Jackie!  Where's your good news!!????

grrrrrrrrrrr moment has past

Mark's work truck broke this morning so he had the day off.  So we spent the day at the DMV getting the required tests done in order for him to renew his license.  He works all day usually, so we figured we'd take advantage of the day off. He had to take four tests, and since he did not read the book, only looked at the test questions he had a bit of a struggle. But passed.  THANK YOU GOD!  

I was grrrrrrrrrring this morning because a few little things happened that irrated my peaceful mood that I had been working on having today.  Everything worked out though. Mark's been putting off the DMV for way too long, he was afraid he'd flunk the eye test, because he wears reading glasses, so do I, he thinks they will make him wear them when he drives.  NO.  I also freaked him out when I told him how hard the written test are, just because you've been driving for years doesn't mean you'll pass the test, unless you read the book.  Glad it's over.

Yesterday I worked, I drove the swim shuttle, easy enough: drive to a grade school, pick up some kids, take them to the pool.  Sit in the sun, get a tan, and then drive them back.  All this and get paid too!  They actually were very well behaved too.  

During the layover I got to catch up with the normal work related gossip.  Even more exciting because the other driver is a union rep.  Seems some drivers this summer are stirring up some drama.  BLAH!  I personally hate the stuff.  Our job is difficult enough without adding internal crap.

Glad I am not there full time this summer, the break has been refreshing to say the least.

Tracey's doctor is busy this week, (I find that funny!) and the soonest she can induce the baby is Friday morning.  Why can't girls today do like we old ladies did back in the olden days???  Just wait for the kid to be born!  Seems like everybody is in a hurry to get the kid either pulled or cut out.  A girl at work demanded a C-section this past week.  My middle kid was a C-section and I remember it not a fun experience.  What is it with people today?

 

 

Birthday boy Jacob and Dakota...see that bump on the right side of the picture?? 

That's my future new grandson!  My dil has no shame, she just let's that bump hang out!

My old, dirty trailer, but it's home away from home.  The bike is Mark's, the one I was on in the last entry is Jeremy's way cooler one. 

somedays just try your patience

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR that's all am gonna say today....

 

 

Wish my runt self new how to drive this beauty!

my hubby, my hero

Hopefully this entry will go through, it's now 10:45 pm and there's a storm headed this way.  I tried twice today to do an entry, but my poor old computer got too hot and turned off.  I have a bad driver and the heat makes it worse.  It was supposedly 95 today with a heat index of 105, whatever that means.  I mean after 95 degrees who cares how much hotter it is, by then it's just plain HOT!

Brings me to my subject at hand, my husband.  I talk about him quite a lot, he is my husband afterall. But sometimes I forget to talk about how much respect I have for the guy.  I mean when I got a hold of him I was pretty much a head case.  Here the poor guy is minding his own business, raising his two teenage sons, happily working and you know doing guy stuff.  Here I came and wreck the whole thing with you know, my girly-ness.  Now don't get me wrong, I am really not a girly girl, I can hold my own, with a hammer, paint brush, and can rearrange large furniture, pretty much on my own.  But we woman have a way of taking over when it comes to our mates, the children, the whole household for that matter!  I tend to be opinionated and bossy, for years I couldn't figure out why he didn't think like I did!  I could never be wrong and I know that drove him nuts. 

He has accepted the challenge with grace and the utmost respect for me.  I had so many bad experiences with men/people, that years of therapy barely made a dent in my psycho mind.  I did all I could to chase the poor guy away even though I didn't really mean it.  But he didn't run, he stayed, so here we are...nearly 12 years later.

The guy works his butt off for our family.  For instance he spent 10 hours today in a hot, dirty, smelly dump truck in this heat, never complaining once.  He never misses work, and is always early.  He's the first one there to help out one of the kids.  Not only that the neighbors always get a helping hand.  As a stepfather I could never ask for a better dad, he's as close to my kids as he is to his own children.  As a grandfather the boys chant, 'grandpa, grandpa!'.  Jacob will only go on arow boat with Mark.  As far as they are concerned he's king.

As a friend I know he will always be my best one.  He balances me out, he knows me, he loves and respects me.  We will grow old together, and this journey will only get better.  I am a blessed girl to have this man to call my husband. 

Saturday!

I took off the summer from my school bus driving job to help my daughter in law out with her children.  She is officially off work now and this weekend here in Northern Illinois we are having our summer heat wave, so she will be spending it in her air conditioned house, resting.  Mark's ex hasn't watched the kids much this summer so she took them to her trailer she shares with her sister to give Tracey a break.  Supposed to be in the high 90's with a lot of humidity.  I've lived here all of my 49 years and am used to the heat.  We have an old home with a boiler so we do not have central air.  I like it that way.  Going in and out of a/c drives me nuts and would rather be hot than go back and forth.  We do have a window unit so if it get too nasty at night we can turn that on so Mark can sleep, without too much whining.  When we first got married in 1995 it was a super hot summer with older people literally cooking to death in their apartments in Chicago, they were too afraid of crime to open their windows.  We were living in the upstairs apartment in an old Farmhouse.  We did not have a/c then, poor Mark complained the whole time. 

Now I am not as stubborn as I used to be when we first got married.  We brought two families of kids together and  back then it was a struggle, daily.  We were responsible for 5 kids full time and his 2 ever weekend.  That was 7 kids under the age of 14!  I had been in two really ugly relationships that produced my three kids.  I had taken a break from men, when Mark and I crossed paths again, at our kid's football game.  We went to high school together way back in the 70's and recognized each other immediately.  From first date on we were together, getting married 6 months later on April fools day.   It took us a few years to iron out all our issues, Mark had a drinking problem,  I gave that up years before, he was brought up in a good home with values, so for him it was pretty easy to give up his vices.  He had a base to pull from. It's never been an issue again.   I think when you're ready you do it, you move on, grow up and re-discover your goals.  Life can be difficult, but only if you let it get the best of you.  Over the years we both lost one of our parents, his father suddenly, my mother through a year long battle with cancer. We struggled with our ex's, job losses, money,  kids, kids and more kids!  But through it all we re-discovered our Faith in God, & that got us through a lot.  We also discovered how much friendship, communicaiton, and commitment mean in a marriage.  Life is a journey, a wonderful one, sometimes you have to widen out your vision, look around, take a deep breath and enjoy.  Usually the simple things are the best things!  I am blessed to have you all in my life right now, I am grateful for this place. 

You all have a wonderful weekend!

I am so honored!

I am so honored to have been featured as a journal on the Guest Editor's picks!  Thank you !  Thank you !  J-land is my private escape and I value each and every one of you! My hubby is nagging me to go for a ride on the motorcycle, so I will keep this brief.  But you know I'll have more to say tomorrow!  I am officially off babysitting duty!   Tracey's done with work, so hopefully we will get the baby call soon.  If not, it's going to be a hot, steamy weekend.  Liz is doing stage crew for the musical Beauty and the Beast.  I may head over to see it tomorrow afternoon, maybe I can scare up a neighbor kid to go with me!  She says it's very good expect the character that sings the title song missed her cue during last night's show!!  Wow!  Glad I wasn't her mom! 

We will probably be on Mark's motorcycle all weekend, but like I said, I'll be back tomorrow, must go...hubby will leave without me!!

 

This week Tracey asked me to watch the kids the whole week.  Monday Liz came with me and it's always nice to have an extra hand.  Especially at naptime when I still can't bare to hear Dakota scream his head off if I put him in his crib.  I gather him, his two bedtime stuffed animals, and rock him to sleep.  He's still little and squishy enough to enjoy the feeling only a little one can bring a grandma.  While I am rocking him Jacob can usually wait patiently in his big boy bed for me to lay down with him.  But if I take too long I hear, "D'ma Rose, I need you!  D'ma Rose, I am not yelling!"  I can usually get to him quickly as Dakota usually is asleep in 5 minutes.  Liz takes over rocking duty when she comes to help.  Dakota no longer calls her Iz, he now calls her Aunt La La.  He's a funny kid, he talks more than Jacob did at 18 months, but that is because Jacob was never encouraged to talk, he would point and get what he wanted.  He has more than made up for that, he talks a mile a minute now.  Often saying to me, "remember when we..."  he loves to talk about what we did the day before.

This is Tracey's last week at work as she is due on the 14th.  I watched the kids by myself yesterday, Liz had a date with a girlfriend to go to Chicago.  It rained all day and the TV blew up so we were pretty much stuck indoors.  I rarely use the TV as a babysitter, but depend on getting the boys outdoors to play.  They are typical boys who love the outdoors, including our daily walk to the park.  We were only able to play on the porch and the excitement of our day was when the Electric meter reader came and read the meter.

Thankfully they both went to nap early and the only major incident was when Dakota hit Jacob (on accident) in the face with a toy vacuum cleaner.  Hopefully he won't have a shiner from that!  Jeremy got rained out from work and came home at 1:00 so I was able to go home early.

I was ready too.  Today Tracey wasn't feeling well  (LABOR??) so she stayed home.  I pretty much have been online. I really need to clean my house.  It's been raining for two days and very humid.  Everything feels sticky and wet. 

We did have Jacob at the trailer with us on Saturday night.  He loved theattention and as the oldest he will need the extra time.

Liz is helping with the last play of the season, they are doing Beauty and the Beast.  She's back stage again, and is painting the backdrops today.  Her boyfriend Mike is in New Orleans with their church repairing wind damaged houses.  She wanted to go too this time, but wanted to be around to help Tracey too. 

Here's a picture from her last play the Pride and Prejudice.  She was the aunt.  The costumes were excellent for this one.  She's the kid in the back.  We found her costume at the local Salvation army thrift shop.

Fingers crossed we get a new baby this week!!

This happy guy is my stepson Matt and his wife Brandy's pup Dozer, get it Bulldog, bull dozer??!!  He's only 10 weeks here, at the Father's day parade.  He's so cute and caused quite a crowd to gather. 

Liz is now available to come with me to babysit.  She is finally done with her play stuff and the job she may or may not get isn't until the end of the month.  A friend of the kids always watches the parade from our house and she works down the street at the small family style restaurant.  She is leaving then and offered to train Liz to replace her as the owner only hires direct referrals.  This would be an ideal job for her, the hours are 5 to 7 and some weekends, then she could keep the job after school.  I waited tables for a time and the money can be pretty good. 

These are the friend's twins with Dakota ... I wonder if he thinks they are future dating material!??

Poor Tracey is getting crabby and tired so we are picking up the boys this afternoon so they can come to the campground.  Jacob has the memory of a elephant and asked me everyday if he could go build jumps in the sand with grandpa.  I am going to offer to keep them for the night.  Let it be known that I am not a saint!  My mother taught me that family was about helping each other out.  Without my dear mother my poor children would have been little criminals.  I got divorced right after I had my middle kid, moved in with my folks and proceeded to have Liz.  I was a mess for a few years.  And fortunately for me and my kids my parents never, ever gave up on me.  I owe them much and the way I was brought up you always help out family.  Besides I love chilren, they are so funny and sometimes make more sense then most adults! 

Hopefully when I am old lady drooling in a nursing home one of these little guys comes and visits!  Or at least brings me a rag!

 

baby count down

I've been missing in action which for me is a good thing.  We went to our trailer on Saturday afternoon, I hadn't seen a TV or a computer until Tuesday night.  Good for me, I tend to sit in front of this stupid thing way too long.  Did I miss anything???

Saturday was our club where we camp's annual pig roast.  Mark did not work so we made it in time for the food.  It was a very quiet event this year.  They always have a huge bonfire, I mean huge, and plenty of food and drink.  Since Mark and I don't drink we always get to enjoy the drunk action that usually goes on.  Some of these folks start drinking at breakfast and go way past midnight.  The weather was great and we ended up staying until Tuesday morning.

Since the campground is only a few blocks from Jeremy's house we headed over to Jacob's 3rd birthday party on Sunday.  That was also a drunkfest with some of his biker friends coming over in the early evening.  My poor pregnant daughter in law's patience is wearing thin, she is due any day and doesn't always want to be the place to 'be'.  They have a pool so their place tends to be the spot to hang out. 

I am thinking when she finally has baby #3 and is able to stay home full time she will feel better.  I am glad I've been able to help as much as I have.  She comes home to clean kids, a clean house, if I knew what they wanted for dinner I'd have that ready too!

The picture below is from Prairiefest Parade on Father's day.  Tracey of course is the pregnant one, isn't she cute???  Next to her is my stepson Jim, with Dakota and Jeremy in front.

Poor Jacob didn't have a nap and was super tired.

Me and Dakota...

I am off to catch up