....I guess it all comes down to that one simple word...I have always been the type to be self reliant...never count on anyone, even God because I would always be let down...always left alone.  God didn't answer my prayers to my liking so I was a very angry person for many years.  The other day Mark and I were talking about how crazy I used to act when we first got Married.  I used to fly off the handle for the stupidist reasons.  I figured if I acted crazy enough he would leave like all the rest...but he never did.   Now I am better...now that I have stopped being so darn self-centered and self-reliant...I am much happier.  There are days I experience real JOY.  I think this is happening despite my circumstances.  I look at my life and sure every day I hate to hear the phone ring because it's another creditor wanting to know when we will pay them.  I still have a 98 Peterbilt semi sitting in my driveway.  I still have bills, but my perception of life and what it's all about is changing.  I am changing...I am beginning to pay attention to other people more.  Just like I did when I first straighten up...I was so happy to finally be free that I wanted to help everybody.  I guess it's easy to get caught up in life and become self-centered, wanting your life to be straightened out, to be comfortable.  But for me I have a lot of work to do on the inside...I am willing to go through all of the outside stuff to get right inside.  And if the rewards feel like I have been feeling despite the bill problems, I am so overjoyed.  I have my health, my family, my job, my community, a roof over my head and food in the house.  My kids are basically good and I for today I have NO complaints.  AMEN!  Have a wonderful Friday!!!