Friday night

This picture of Jesus was one that I had received many years ago shortly after my divorce 1985.  I often get "signs" or thoughts...sometimes I read some sort of meaning into them sometimes I store them in my brain. Anyway, I meet my daughter's real father in drug treatment.  At that time I had been released and was going back to attend meetings.  Actually I was going back to meet men.  Sad but I stopped shopping for men in bars only to go to "sober" bars.  Mind you these poor souls had only been sober long enough to actually be dry not anywhere near any sort of clarity of mind let alone soul.  But here I was a repeat offender....I had been in a few treatment center enough to pick up on the lingo.  Anyway I meet him and he had that exact picture!  I thought that this must be a sign sent from God that I must be with this person and help him get well.  Well needless to say things didn't work out and as hard as I tried I never was able to "make" thing work out.  I see today that our meeting was to create my beautiful daughter, and to help me along my journey.  This man now is on wife 5, not counting all the rest of the woman with children he has been with along the way.  It has to be a sad existance...constantly running from yourself, never stopping to see that the one you are running away from is yourself.  It's never about the other people, or the jobs, or the money, or the town, or even your family, it's about you.  And the only one that can truly help you to change is you...and of course God.  You can never run from God...He's always there...always speaking to you...from pictures, from thoughts, and especially from people...people like you...who have been the best gift of all!  We just simply have to pay attention.

So thank you dear J-land friends...you have helped to keep this girls spirits high!!