Hey, been thinking about how people's lives effect each other and how and why we do the things we do...I know it's sounds deep, but hey...been thinking about that whole nature/nurture thing.  Hubby came home with a back ache last night.  He has a bad habit of doing this pretty regularly, it's always something every few months, sudden headache, back ache, etc.  Nice thing is he never misses work, just comes home to share his pain with me.  His kids do the same thing, reminds me when I was little I always had a stomach ache, would refuse to go to school, parents took me to all kinds of doctors, figured it was all in my head, which was true, I wanted attention, mom was 17 when she had me and then proceed to bring home 3 more babies in 4 years.  Boy was I mad!  I guess the point is my hubby and his boys have always used their pains and illnesses to get attention, from hubby's ex.  She is a rather cold woman and she presently is showering all her attention a 1 year old grandbaby.  My stepson made his anger perfectly clear this weekend that he was jealous of the attention baby boy gets, come to think of that's probably why is spending so much time at her house...ah makes sense some sort of  attention thing.  I grew out of the sickly stage, when I moved out of parents house with the 3 kids to be truly on my own.  I was a single mom and working, had to be well to support my little ones.  Which brings me to the point, how much of who we are is born into us and how much do we control?  Also, I was watching this show last night that was about "genius donor pools" in other words these people went to a sperm bank that was supposedly stocked with a supply of really smart people genes.  They showed how these people wanted to meet the "real" fathers of their kids.  Big mistake of course these guys didn't want to be found.  Come to find out one guy fathered two of the kids from different families, both kids pretty smart.  Which brings me to this...how much of their believe that this guy was a genius affected how much they expected from these kids...hmmmm...my two boys both tested high in school, were placed in academically talented classes, the oldest followed through and went on to a big 10 school and is doing very well, 2nd son, got kicked out of AT classes, because he saw all the pressure their dad was putting on his brother...then he "thought" he had to go away to school and proceeded to fail...hmmmm.  my daughter is the "smartest" one of all she sees what her brothers have been through and is picking the "normal" route, doing well in classes, but sets goals that she is comfortable with.  So far so good.  Well enough mental mind games for one day...I still believe that you do have choices in life, but sometimes you just can't fight who you were born to be...it's like the AA program, there is a step about character defects...I know I have these characteristics that make me who I am...I try and try to change, but lately I have come to accept who I am and try to do better, try to use my character for good not evil.  It's all we can do right??  Try to do the best we can...with what we have been given.  The AA program talks about change, and growth...  progress...not prefection...I guess as I approach my sobriety birthday next month I come to understand those 12 steps a little deeper, those steps are a great plan for living and I am coming to understand them a little better.Love you guys...have a beautiful day...suns shining here, prefect weather!  Make it a great day.  LOVE rose