Why oh why can not life be easy!!!!!! I guess I make more out of things than need be. I realize that I picked this life for myself...why else would I marry a man with 5 kids???? And have 3 of my own????? Had to put up this simple picture of teenage "love" so that I can remember why I love my own husband. Being the age I am I can be very moody, so again today I was fighting with my "inner" demons. Today I forgot Mark's birthday and when he reminded me of it I was sorry. I was really working on being grateful and happy. I asking God to save me from my worries as we are still in processes of getting our financial house in order, then I get a call from Mark's insurance lady, seems we owe MORE MONEY for the truck used while his was down. I was quite irrated to say the least. Typing this and getting it out there is really helping, but I am getting sick and tired of having to be put in this spot. Mark says he's sorry he put me through all this money, job, business stuff, but even though he has a new job, and his truck is fixed, it still is sitting in the garage, NOT being sold, NOT being advertised NOT being anything but a GIANT hunk of wheels and metal. I know Mark is trying, but he's glaring defect is his procrastination...drives me nuts AND if I want to be psychological about the whole thing I know that is the thing that most bugs me about me. I see the whole mirror thing, been through enough therapy to know it, and even feel it. I know enough to tell him I am irrated, now going to give it to God and trust that HE will fix this....ahhhhh, now it's time to get busy and do something anything constructive, AA taught me many things and one was action baby action, give the problem to God and then go do something postive, and God knows I have plenty to do that I have put off....AMEN thank God for this journal...feeling better already. LOVES ROSE
Wednesday, July 7, 2004
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Why oh why can not life be easy!!!!!! I guess I make more out of things than need be. I realize that I picked this life for myself...why else would I marry a man with 5 kids???? And have 3 of my own????? Had to put up this simple picture of teenage "love" so that I can remember why I love my own husband. Being the age I am I can be very moody, so again today I was fighting with my "inner" demons. Today I forgot Mark's birthday and when he reminded me of it I was sorry. I was really working on being grateful and happy. I asking God to save me from my worries as we are still in processes of getting our financial house in order, then I get a call from Mark's insurance lady, seems we owe MORE MONEY for the truck used while his was down. I was quite irrated to say the least. Typing this and getting it out there is really helping, but I am getting sick and tired of having to be put in this spot. Mark says he's sorry he put me through all this money, job, business stuff, but even though he has a new job, and his truck is fixed, it still is sitting in the garage, NOT being sold, NOT being advertised NOT being anything but a GIANT hunk of wheels and metal. I know Mark is trying, but he's glaring defect is his procrastination...drives me nuts AND if I want to be psychological about the whole thing I know that is the thing that most bugs me about me. I see the whole mirror thing, been through enough therapy to know it, and even feel it. I know enough to tell him I am irrated, now going to give it to God and trust that HE will fix this....ahhhhh, now it's time to get busy and do something anything constructive, AA taught me many things and one was action baby action, give the problem to God and then go do something postive, and God knows I have plenty to do that I have put off....AMEN thank God for this journal...feeling better already. LOVES ROSE
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1 comment:
OH, my dear friend, how I can relate to this entry. Perhaps it is a 'guy" thing, although I know many men who do not procrastinate. Mine does too, not as bad as he once was, thank goodness, but still bad enough to drive me crazy.
It is hard to stay UP when so much is going the other way, but as you and I know. life happens. Things are the way they are because of choices we, or others made, or didn't make. It is especially difficult when so much is going wrong at once. Let me know what constructive thing you wound up doing. So glad you got this journal going for yourself. I'd be lost without mine. Hugs, always, & love too. *Barb*
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